To make DH get a vasectomy the month after we have DC2?

[somewheratsea]

As in the title really - wondering if anyone has been in similar situation and regretted it or wished they'd waited longer.

We currently have one DD who is nearly 2 - and am weeks away from popping out DC2 (a boy this time!)

I'm going to be turning 29 this year, and the thought of going back on contraception in any form honestly makes me shudder. I had a terrible time with various pills and quite frankly, don't really like condoms or the thought of the coil.

I feel like i've done my bit - and DH is on board to get a vasectomy. He's already been to the GP and they've offered him an appointment, but it will be only a month after I've had DC2.

My AIBU is - should we wait a bit longer? I feel like in my head i'm done having kids. One of each means we will never wonder 'what if we had a boy/girl' - I find pregnancy really hard on my mental health, and financially, emotionally and mentally - I feel like two is a good number of children for us and our situation.

A vasectomy happening ASAP would rule out any possibility of accidental pregnancy, would mean I could close this chapter and focus on my children and would also mean that DH would take the burden of contraception off my shoulders once and for all.

But then I have this flicker of doubt sometimes that as I'm not even 30 - maybe I might want another one, one day!?

Not quite the same - but DH went and got a vasectomy when DD was only 6 weeks old. I was really unhappy about it, as I wasn't sure I was done having babies... but he definitely was. I think as long as you're both on the same page, it's fine, but if there is any doubt, just wait a bit.

Is the appointment for the actual vasectomy or is it the pre-appointment? Where I am the wait between the 2 is about 6months.

If it's the pre appointment if go ahead. If not I'd ask to rearrange for a few months later.

Sounds great and if you both agree saves you stress and worry and side effects. Only things is if it's the actual vasectomy a month after baby due then he will probably need to have someone pick him up. If you aren't able to do it would there be someone else?

DH had one and it wasn't local and he needed someone to pick him up and drive him home.

Well the wait time is likely to be 6-18m, depending on where you are so you will have time to think after the doctor’s appointment anyways.

If your second child was an accident then I would definitely get your DH to get it done or else you may well end up with another accident.

I’m so glad you clarified your meaning because I was thinking no you can’t! 😂 I’d wait a bit, not least because you don’t want that on top of a new born, or at least I wouldn’t. Great that you guys have properly discussed it, so unlike many posts!

It's very much a couples choice.

But I know at least 2 men who got their wives pregnant while waiting the appointment. So be careful!

Remind him not to ride his motorbike to the appointment!

Hahaha
My DH suggested his bike to the Dr who reminded him he shouldn't even drive home!!

Please tell me this is not serious!

OP, my DH had a vasectomy 5 months after DS2, it was great, no more pregnancy worries.

I kind of get those who say if you aren't sure hang on
But he's sure!!- so really there's no hanging on needed.

I would have been ok with a 3rd child
But DH was 100% done with 2 so his body his choice and he went for his vasectomy when DC was 4 months old.

He knew whatever happened he didn't want anymore babies and that's absolutely his choice.

I could have gone either way but I was supportive of his right to his own choice and I am glad we stuck to 2.
It's the right number for us!

In a similar but different choice, we had all our IVF embryos destroyed once the youngest child turned 18 months. He was premature and it took a while before I really believed we would get to keep him. Unlikely to happen to you, but the last thing you’d want is a pressing appointment if something did happen.