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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids football

6 replies

Noontimes · 02/05/2023 08:54

My child has been playing football with a local club for two years. They also do a range of other sports. Football is the only one though that in two consecutive years they have had two nasty, bullying coaches. Shouted at if they let a goal in, aggression if the child can’t make a match for a perfectly valid reason, coaching which seems geared to ‘get everything’ from
the 11 year olds, blood, sweat and tears etc. this is not top end football but supposed to be recreational and fun - but it isn’t. Some of the parents have the same attitude. Real ‘fight to the death’ attitude to matches. Swearing at the ref. Really horrible people.

NO OTHER SPORT IS LIKE THIS.

what is it with football? Every other sport is kind, encouraging, understanding etc.

OP posts:
Meowser72 · 02/05/2023 09:50

I don't think the problem is with football per se. I coach a girls' team, which is part of a big youth club. The club has a great ethos - everyone, regardless of ability, gets to play 50% of each match they're involved in. Teams get picked not on ability but on fairness - making sure everyone gets an equal chance. As coaches we are encouraging, never negative. We focus on enjoying the game, not results (at this age, that is the FA policy). I have heard horror stories about parents (and sometimes coaches) yelling from the sidelines, though. I've also had a bit of hassle from parents over the past few years for decisions that have been made during matches - some of them want us to focus on results, but we are primarily interested in making sure the kids enjoy it.

So I would suggest you find a new club maybe?

Hellocatshome · 02/05/2023 09:56

Why have you let this continue for two years? Yes there are some clubs like that, there are also plenty that are not. It is your responsibility to safeguard your child from being involved in that sort of club.

Coldilox · 02/05/2023 09:58

Find a different team.

my son plays on a local team and it’s nothing like this. No way would I allow him to stay on a team where that was the norm.

RedHelenB · 02/05/2023 10:01

Noontimes · 02/05/2023 08:54

My child has been playing football with a local club for two years. They also do a range of other sports. Football is the only one though that in two consecutive years they have had two nasty, bullying coaches. Shouted at if they let a goal in, aggression if the child can’t make a match for a perfectly valid reason, coaching which seems geared to ‘get everything’ from
the 11 year olds, blood, sweat and tears etc. this is not top end football but supposed to be recreational and fun - but it isn’t. Some of the parents have the same attitude. Real ‘fight to the death’ attitude to matches. Swearing at the ref. Really horrible people.

NO OTHER SPORT IS LIKE THIS.

what is it with football? Every other sport is kind, encouraging, understanding etc.

Sounds nothing like any football clubs I've known.

toastofthetown · 02/05/2023 10:09

It’s not just football. Check out the Whyte review if you want a horrifying picture of how endemic abuse was/is in British Gymnastics. And remove your children from a club which has a culture of bullying.

southcoastsammy · 03/04/2026 10:37

Football coach here - we come across coaches like this at matches. I have no idea why the parents put up with it. Move teams. We have 40 youth teams, 100 coaches and helpers, and not one would behave like this. Report to the welfare officer - verbal abuse is still abuse.

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