"Baby" clothes

[jabbusbelly]

I'm a regular poster but I've NC for this as I've mentioned parts of it IRL to people I know are on here. (If you recognise me 👋😘!)

Disclaimer also that I know this is relatively minor and there are worse things in the world. Sorry if this is long but I don't want to drip feed!

When I was pregnant with my middle child, I was asked by a relative (let's call her Jane) if I wanted some of her child's old baby clothes. I gratefully accepted. A different relative (more distant, doesn't really know me) then heard that Jane had given me baby clothes, and decided to send some clothes via Jane. I didn't really need any more but sent a message on SM saying thank you, and thought that was that.

For the next year or so I kept getting bundles of clothes every time I saw Jane, from distant relative. But distant relative's son is quite a bit older than mine, so while the first bundle had been actual baby clothes that she had apparently saved, all the subsequent bundles were obviously stuff that her child had only just grown out of - so e.g. age 4-5 or 5-6 when mine was 6 months old.

I eventually sent a message (feeling really awkward!) to distant relative saying thanks but I don't need any more. I got rid of most of it. Then the next two times I saw Jane, there were more bundles. Jane was caught in the middle so I did feel bad, but I refused to take them home. I asked Jane whether distant rel had not got my message, but Jane said that she had got the message but just wanted to be kind. I still refused and anyway, after a couple of times the bags of stuff stopped.

Fast forward to now, I'm pregnant again and a completely different relative has said how excited she is that I'm now having a girl, and she can pass on the cute baby clothes she's saved (she has girls). Those exact words were used. She then gave me two big bags of stuff, and it's almost all 8-9 years, with a couple of 7-8. So it's clearly stuff her youngest has just grown out of.

I suppose I should just say no to all offers but I do like to reuse things (and I pass mine on too, after asking first!) so that would be a shame. I don't know... is it me or is this annoying?! I don't want to store clothes for my children for years in advance! And it was specifically mentioned that it was baby clothes. I've spent loads of time going through bags of stuff and taking them to charity shops, I feel like people are just using me so that they don't have to do it!

But now it's happened twice with two different people, I'm wondering if it's perfectly normal and it's just me 🤣

Aibu to think this is a bit irritating?

I would assume that they don’t want to keep, store, or sell clothes but they want them to have more use and prefer them to go to someone they know than a generic charity shop. However, it doesn’t make it any less annoying for you as you don’t want to store them either and even if you do, they might not be what your child wants by that age anyway.

This happened to me too! I like secondhand stuff and have been glad of some of it but it was so overwhelming quite often, and also often obviously from someone having a clear out for a kid several years older than mine!

My worst one was someone saying they'd got some bits for me, leaving them with DH when I was out and it was TEN bin bags full! It took me so long to sort through, keep anything I liked, set apart bigger stuff to keep (limited as I didn't have much storage space) and then have to charity shop the in ok condition but didn't like stuff, and send for rag the dirty/torn/stained stuff.

I've relocated since, which finally stopped it, although I've still got some clothes for two years ahead set aside! I tend to buy secondhand now, but stuff I've chosen.

I do think people get attached to clothes their kids had, can't bear to sort it or get rid of some of it and pass it on so they feel ok about it. When mine has grown out of a size I tend to pass on a sizeable amount but as bundles on Olio or Freecycle so for someone who genuinely wants them, and I sell anything I can.

I agree with you OP. I do pass on stuff but not more than one age bracket ahead (my DC is quite tall so I offer stuff to parents of similar-age friends if I know them well). For babies, I'd only offer up to 6 months age bracket ahead... who wants to be given clothes that won't be used for years? Why not just offer to an older child?

I also take photos and send so the parents can pick what they want, rather than bundling up all DC's old stuff and dumping it on them. The rest goes to various charities/local collections.

It is irritating especially if you have nowhere to store it and honestly I wouldn't want to have to store them for that long. I'd just bag them up, message relative and say thanks but it was clothes up to a year you were looking for and these whilst lovely you will struggle to store for so long. I'd also check with relatives before you forward their clothes to charity or pass them on as some may be expecting you to hand them back.

Ah I hate getting clothes that my kids won't fit into for ages! I have no storage space and it takes ages to sort through everything! Just say no, op! Or take bags straight to donation bin.

I had one lot passed on, large quantities, sizes too big for my kid by several years, where the donor also wanted to outline which brands were more likely to shrink or size up so fitted different ages to what it said the clothes label. All in the same large bag, I was apparently meant to remember that a Tesco age 4-5 was the equivalent of a Boden age 3-4 etc.

This might have worked if it had been one bag of 'this all fitted age 4-5' but, no, all jumbled up.

Just pass them on to a willing recipient / charity shop / rag bag if not fit for wear. I happily receive 2nd hand stuff for my kids, always ask the giver if they want the things back and if not (which is always!) I do as above.

Send the donors the following message.

Thank you so much for the beautiful baby clothes.
They are very popular, I have found customers for all of them.