To be fed up of the plus size double standard?

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

I’m having some alterations to a dress by my aunt fairly covered long dress , sleeves etc neckline just a bit too low (lower than a u plunge bra) and just one or 2 stitches required I’d have done it myself but , anyway…

I was explaining to my aunt that anymore than one or 2 stitches it’ll ruin the style and look like a drab sack, and the reply I got was as bigger girls we should really be completely covered and that double standard really irks me, im an EE , i have cleavage is most of my dresses and I’m not dressing like a nun when someone who is a A cup wouldn’t be expected to,

it’s not the first time I’ve encountered this mentality , has any other plus size women become fed up with this double standard??

I'm a size 20 to add context to size. I have H boobs which are a pain in the behind. I find that if I show no cleavage at all, I look like a frumpy, prim and proper,traditional idea of your maiden aunt.

When I was slimmer and younger, I had a size 8 waist and a size 16 top, now I'm bigger all over, but I'm in proportion so look more normal. Back then, it didn't matter what I wore, I still drew attention, and when I did dress nicely I couldn't walk down the street without comments.

I hate when you go shopping and see really lovely tops and dresses, but they don't scale them up properly, so too small and tight in the bust, no waistline, so the same dress in an 8 or in a 20 is not actually the same dress, it's a totally different one in the same material.

I have large boobs and generally wear v neck or wrap. Square, sweetheart, high necklines etc. make me look matronly.
I have a cracking set of boobs and I'm going to enjoy them before I get old.
I care little for other people's opinions.

I am definitely plus sized & large boobed I’m a size 24/26 and a 40EE

if it was a skimpy stringy dress with lots of boob I probably wouldn’t wear it but by the same token why the hell should I not?

it’s not work related btw sorry didn’t clarify very much social will be plenty of people showing all sorts I imagine

thanks for comments so far decent mix of constructive etc xx

I don’t think you need your aunt (or her judgement!). What you need is either a nice brooch, a lightweight cami or a modesty panel. Yes, they exist and are on sale online! Each of those options will enable you to adjust the neckline to exactly the level of coverage that you desire.

Readers of the wonderful ‘Circle of Friends’ will remember that Benny’s daring friend Clodagh encourages her to wear a low cut evening dress but provides her with a modesty panel to keep her conservative parents happy. Benny then arrives in Dublin, promptly removes the modesty panel from the dress and attracts a lot of positive attention at the college ball.

I second this eloquently framed sentiment.

I don’t really think I need a modesty panel either tbh if other slimmer, smaller chested people will be wearing very short, low etc I only need a stitch or 2 so it’s not too low

obviously each to their own it’s just not for me,

brilliant post @Wfhandbored

No worries, I was being slightly tongue-in-cheek. I always go for the vest/cami solution myself, but be firm with your aunt and tell her what you want! Oh and buy her a copy of ‘Circle of Friends’ so she can reflect on the social conventions that bring about neckline-policing.

However modesty panels might have their uses as they would be less hot to wear than a cami or vest once the weather warms up.

It’s ok no worries,

the stitching is done apparently so I will see 🙈🤣