How do I find out exactly how our benefits will change if we have a major life change,

[SocialserviceswillTheyhelp]

For example, if DH were to give up work for a year.

We currently both work full time and are entitled to anything between 0-£100 a month UC, it's usually about £30.

Some of you may have seen my recent post but we are really really struggling with our son who has ADHD, he currently gets mid rate DLA and will do until he is 16.

After a 3 hour awful, violent meltdown from him last night which did not end until 3am and had me call 999 3 times (they did fuck all exact words "what do you expect us to do, he's 11" and "there's nothing we can do he is 11" despite me saying that he was attacking my husband, threatening to stab us, smashing the house up and my 4 year old was shaking with fear, I digress).

I am at the end of my tether, working full time in a stressful job, whilst sorting all the kids, juggling meetings with DS's school, fighting for an EHCP and so on and so forth.

I asked DH to take time off for a year, he works long hours and can't drop tools to see DS at school for a meeting and DS only attends 2 hours a day.

He would claim carers allowance and balance out the work/life load especially for me. Something has to give.

If I have worked out UC correctly, we will just about afford it.
But how do I check for sure before we make the leap and get it wrong?

Oh and all the benefits calculators the Gov website suggest are absolutely shite.

According to that we'd be rich beyond our wildest dreams no matter what I put as our income.

I know some people say they work well but they never have for me. Including tonight. I'm

https://www.entitledto.co.uk/

You can use the benefit calculator on Turn2us for a hypothetical amount.

Use this Turn2us Benefits Calculator by putting in the weekly/ monthly figures you will have once he stops work. So Zero for his earnings but include the potential carers allowance amount.

I know you are in crisis but you have to think of the longer implications of DH taking a year off. Would his work be open to him taking a sabbatical? How easy will it be for him to pick up full or part time work in a year? Is there any possibility of either of you reducing your hours to keep your foot in the door so to speak. Work can also be a form of respite when you have a child with SN as it is easy to loose yourself.

Do you her DLA for DS? That will help I think because then your DH can be a carer?

I've heard some really bad things about universal credit, people being stopped for no reason. It might be a bit risky but hopefully not.

He is self employed.

I earn more than him, double what he earns. There is no way I could reduce my hours and still afford the childcare for our youngest child. And I would still be stressed, juggling everything expect even more skint to boot.

I think you might need a benefits advisor. I'm sure people will be unkind about one of you willing giving up work. But people need to make the choice all of the time when they have to care for a disabled child. Sorry this is going on.

You might want to discuss with citizen's advice or someone as if you leave a job voluntarily you can't claim for a while (I believe but haven't checked for a while).

Is there such thing as a benefits advisor?

Anyway who flames me is a cunt who should swap places with me.

I don't believe they would flame me, the position we are in is torturous and awful. No one should endure it.

Can you not both go part time?
I have a disabled child and really regret giving up work even though it made complete sense at the time.

Your local authority might have an income maximisation team who would be able to advise - they tend to be on top of the rules etc.

He would be a carer for DS.

I will check out CA, although I thought they didn't work the way they used to. Perhaps that was misinformation.

Do you claim for your childcare on UC at the moment? You would be able to continue doing that if DH is claiming CA.
At the moment You should get
Couple element
child(ren)
Disabled child element
Rent if applicable
carer element (you can get this even if working full time)
Childcare element
Then have your reduction due to wages

If DH stops working his CA is deduced from the UC £ for £ but he won’t be required to look for work.

Yes, you should find a benefits advisor at your local CAB. If not, maybe a disability charity if you have one locally or maybe some help from a charity supporting those with ADHD

Universal credit essentials has a step by step method for you to calculate your award and it is correct.

you could also phone the Contact (was contact a family) helpline and speak to their benefits advisor.

I gave up work to care for my disabled son. I just couldn’t do it all anymore and had a bit of a breakdown, so completely understand where you’re coming from.

When I volunteered for citizens advice 90% of what we did was money/benefits stuff like this.

Good luck. That sounds really tough.

Also a year off work is nothing in the grand scheme of things! God I've had 3 babies with a year off each time and afterwards it's absolutely fine to go back. I know maternity leave is different but men at my work have had sabbaticals and returned absolutely fine. Working life is long. Do what you need to do to make it work for your family.

Universal Credit Essentials calculator https://www.uceplus.co.uk/how-much-will-my-payment-be

Contact helpline https://contact.org.uk/about-contact/contact-us/

Don't let me put you off. That might be totally different.

Good luck btw, I hope you get positive info and it works out.

I would recommend contacting your local carer centre (Google your council and carer centre and something should come up) They will have a benefits advisor and usually have shorter waiting lists than others. They will also be able to support with all aspects of your caring role.

Will your dh step up and take a lot of the load off you if he stops working. We are in a similar position with Ds and I’m the higher earner so it would make more sense for dh to give up work but I know I’d still end up doing most of the stuff to do with Ds and I’d just become resentful so we both still work. Sorry I’ve no solution but I really feel for you, no one knows how shite it is until you are living it.

I don’t have much in the way of help I’m afraid, but just wanted to send you a big hug OP. This sound lame really tough.

Maybe CAB could help?

If you claim chb for your youngest make sure it's in your dhs name.

we wouldn't be using childcare if DH wasn't working.

We would only be able to claim the carers element if he claimed carers, and that can't be claimed if you earn more than £134 a weeks so he definitely couldn't work full time.