To put my dd on a diet?

[Feckinlego]

Dd is 10. She is overweight. Not hugely, she has a 'spare tyre' and weight around her chest area. I've been working hard on not mentioning weight, dieting etc for the last couple of years. I'm terrified of her developing an eating disorder, far more than I'm worried about the physical effects of her being overweight. She is a bit of a fuss eater. She eats what she is given for the most part, but is always hungry and her snack of choice would be heavily carb loaded, or a lot of fruit. She loves clothes but is lately alluding to being 'fat' in certain things, or not looking right in certain styles of clothing. I've always said we don't use the word fat in the house, that beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes etc. But I'm now thinking maybe this isn't the right approach? Maybe I'm making it difficult for her to come to me to discuss it? I do try to foster healthy eating habits but I'm obviously doing something wrong.
Just to say she's quite active, does sports 4 times a week. But at home her activities of choice would be dools/drawing so not particularly active.
I'm at a loss how to handle this. The rest of her siblings are all very lean, as am I. So it's a new one on me. Not sure where to go from here. Any advice would be helpful.

Thanks for the advice. She snacks on crackers and cheese, cereal (cheerios or branflakes) fruit. But its the amount, and its after her evening meal. She would eat sugary treats day and night if allowed. I struggle to know how to limit without her feeling like she's doing something wrong for asking. I feel I'm following all the advice but it's not helping.

What sort of evening meal is she having that she is still so hungry afterwards? I would massively up her portions of fresh vegetables or salad with dinner to fill her up.

If she's asking for snacks after an evening meal then hand her a banana, or a small portion of crackers and cheese. She isn't doing anything wrong of course, but don't let her have free reign to choose the amount. I would make it so that cereal is for breakfast only (you can use the excuse of sugary cereal being bad for your teeth if you have too much, which is true!).

I would let her have ‘supper’ - evening snack, but not snack all evening. Tell her she can have her dinner back if she’s hungry. Not in a punishment kind of way but just don’t eat all the cereal, that’s for breakfast’ etc.

I’d apply that to everyone not just her, and cost of living is a good reason to give.
I’d never make mine clear their plate but I wouldn’t let them have cereal and crackers instead of their nutritious meal either.

Cheese and crackers could have more calories in than a full blown meal. If she’s having a large bowl of cheerio’s, rather than the weighed portion size, it could be more calories than a bar of chocolate.
Can you occupy her and keep her busy so she isn’t thinking of food? Or give her something to drink in case she’s confusing the thirst signals for hunger? Maybe a low calorie hot chocolate would satisfy her sweet tooth. A low fat high protein yogurt might stop her feeling hungry.

Start cutting out the carby snacks. I think many of us can't deal with too much carbs. I'm like that and so is one of my dc.
He started putting on weight as he got into bad habits one summer snacking on toast, crackers and croissants. He was 11.
It wasn't for a growth spurt. As soon as he cut them out, he got back to normal weight.
He ate carbs as normal in meals (a sandwich, potatoes, pasta and rice etc) but snacks became more fruit or protein.
I just told him we were going to focus on more healthy food and too much carbs and sugar aren't good for us.

I have a DD similar age who tends to get overweight. She just loves food and always wants seconds. She seems to have no sense of when she’s full. I try to cut down sugar and white carbs. So no white bread or wraps or rice or pasta- all these are now wholemeal/ brown. Snacks are fruit or carrots. But communal eating scenarios such as parties or picnics are difficult and she will tend to overeat massively until she feels ill. My other DC has been totally different right from weaning.

My Foster son who is very sporty put on almost a stone during lockdown. He often swims 100 lengths 3 times a week, runs around a lake near to us, does karate, cricket training and Crav Magar. During lockdown all he had left was a run. He ate more out of boredom and frustration and not being able to enjoy his activities. Since lockdown ended and he has gradually picked sport again he lost about 6 lbs but then seemed to plateau. I noticed and bought less unhealthy snacks like crisps and chocolate biscuits. I just offered fruit, particularly berries which he likes, nuts which are filling and pepperoni sticks. I cut carb portions by a tiny amount and he did not even notice as I dished him up more protein and veg. Now he's lost the other half stone and well toned because of exercise. Could you just stop her having so many snacks and offer fruit to snack on. Offer more swim training or bike riding to replace horse riding.

I agree with substituting the snacks with healthy alternatives and restricting sugary drinks but I wouldn't say anything to her about it at all. Just say you're cutting back.

For the cheese, they're more expensive but could you buy the individually wrapped portions for a whole (for example, of cheddar or boursin portions)? That way, at least she's not eating half a block of cheese if she fancies cheese and crackers. I'd also have a look at the fat/salt content of the crackers and look at healthier alternatives like ryvita.

Sounds like she's not full from her main meal

Are they a good mix of protein and carbs, plenty of fibre??

She's definitely not full from her main meal. She will eat the carb first and tends to leave the meat/veg unfinished. I was going by the advice I choose what goes on the plate and she chooses what to eat but it's not working.

She needs to be eating more of her main meal. I wouldn't stand over her and force her to finish it, but I would encourage her as much as you can to eat her meat and vegetables. Make it clear that there won't be lots of snacks later if she's hungry, and keep her leftovers from dinner back to offer to her when she asks for snacks.

As you cut down the snacks she should start eating more at mealtimes naturally in any case, but I wouldn't tolerate leaving dinner unfinished and then wanting snacks straight after.

Educate her. Show her how protein and veg are really important for building her body strong and healthy and that it needs to be prioritised.
It might not be her favourite, but it's the most important part of her meal.
Find some information you can share with her. An article or YouTube video.

I tend to go with ‘our bodies need lots of different kinds of foods’ approach - so she needs to eat her main meal for the nutrition. The protein and veg as well as carbs.

Don't put her on a diet, instead eat healthily as a family, incorporate plenty of movement into family life (no need to call it exercise) and give rewards that aren't sweet and calorific (giving children sweets regularly isn't necessary, reward with a new pen or book for instance)

Oh and don't have unhealthy snacks around as an option. Dinner then fruit, no other option.

As snacks carrot and cucumber sticks are a good option (serve with a small portion of hummus). But if not finishing the meal, get to the bottom of that

I think first is to get out of your head that a 'diet' means you are restricting anything, your diet is simply what you eat so she's already on one, you just need to make sure her diet is balanced. Lots of veg and protein, full fat milk and yogurt and less cereals, they're just fillers and are not needed. New guidance is that you should eat 10 portions of fruit/veg a day, but not more than 2 of those should be fruit. Is she also active for an hour a day? At that age they often stop running around at school so may not be active enough anymore. Once she starts secondary school she will probably do a lot more walking to and from school so that will help.

It's good that you are noticing early on, you can make subtle changes to the whole family's diet and activity level and it will benefit you all. No need to say anything to your daughter it will just be the new norm.

Cut snacks that are available, if they have a balanced diet they would only need healthy snacks after exercise.
Sounds like she is eating smaller meals and big snacks, snacks are normally calorie or sugar heavy so should be limited.
There are lots of things available for those that don’t fit the norm of weight for size/age, they involve exercise, recognising portion size, learning how to make healthy snacks/meals together. In our area they run them for overweight and poor eaters they rnt separated.
Its fine to limit snacks but don’t put yr child on a diet without being under supervision of a health professional, it’s different to adult weight management.