To think that my neighbour is batshit

[soooomuchroomforactivities]

Recently moved into new flat (6 weeks). yesterday a get a very rude, heavily underlined note in my mailbox from flat downstairs, saying Im a nuisance, a noisy neighbour, she 'owns her property' and is quiet and I am ruining it for her and she will be reporting me (no mention of to whom).
My crime? Putting on my tv at 7.45am in the morning on saturday morning.

After getting over the shock of this and the rudeness of the message i decided i would go and see her to keep the peace. However, in the interim, i had two visitors come to see me at 2pm. They passed her in the stairwell and they said good afternoon. She shushed them, told them to 'shut up', 'be quiet' and to stop being so loud in the hallway? When they said but they were just walking up the stairs, she yelled at them that they were 'disgusting'.

Soooo living here is clearly going to be interesting!!!!

Personally I'd turn the TV up to top volume, as a result of my suddenly impaired hearing that also means she has to shout at me to be heard.

I love this idea. But I’d do it without the headphones. Just totally misinterpret everything she says as her making pleasant chitchat. She’s never going to behave like a nice normal neighbour, so there’s no point in trying to reason with her. Just convince her you’re even battier than she is and hopefully she’ll give up.

I'd make an effort before 8am and after 9pm. Trying to have a lie-in last weekend I was awakened at 7:30 by neighbours with their godforsaken garden equipment; it did seem a bit early.

Grey rock her. Whatever you do, put nothing in writing to her. And as others have advised, keep a detailed log. You might even want to turn your camera's video on when you enter and leave, to record any of her harrassment.

Living in a flat means there will be general living noise. If she wants silence she should've bought a detached house in the middle of nowhere's

That being said, 22 tv volume sounds high/loud to me. I watch tv at volume 12, 22 would literally be deafening. When your friends said it could be louder...of course it could be that's not to say it's not already loud and annoying. If you want good relations could you ask to hear it from inside her house and see if it really is OTT?

Honestly don’t engage. She’s not going to read it and think fair enough. Just don’t engage with her.

I have to adjust the volume on my TV depending on what I’m watching, the volume varies so much I’m not sure you can compare it like that.

22 is fairly loud to have the TV on, it's not booming, but if the sound proofing isn't great, they can probably hear it. I only have mine on 10 or 11.

I was going to ask whether you lived above my former neighbours, but they’re the wrong age!

I might try and turn the TV down a bit, but the situation with your visitors sounds really odd and I don’t think your visitors were doing anything wrong. Perhaps your neighbour just isn’t suited to flats.

I live the way people authoritatively list the volume of their TV numerically. The scales vary from set to set. 35/40 is quiet on mine.

22 depends on the tv. Some go up to 100.

yeah i think it varies on the set. I just put mine down to 12 as a PP said, and I cant hear it. I have no hearing issues.

what i meant earlier was i asked my family and friends if they thought it was too loud, and they all said if anything is was way quieter than their tvs. They are very honest people. they would tell me for sure if i was the dick.

Some go up to 11 ...

If you accidentally did call her Mrs Batshit that would be terrific.

TV on at 7.45am any day of the week is not early to me, absolutely ridiculous.

doitwithlove well thats what i thought! Its not even early. I dont get it, but maybe im wrong.

Is that louder? 🤔

22 out of a max of 100 will be quieter than 22 out of a max of 25. It’s not a standard measure.

If you are sure your noise levels are reasonable then you need to stand up to her. She's trying to bully you and will only get worse. I used to be endlessly polite and conciliatory to people like this - it gets you nowhere and just emboldens them.

Last year I moved into an upstairs flat in a block of four. My (retired) downstairs neighbour immediately complained about the noise, describing all sorts of odd noises she could hear, telling me the time I got up, had a bath, went to bed etc (not accurate at all!) I know I live quietly so I calmly but very firmly told her that she had no option but to get used to me living upstairs, any noise she heard was to be expected in a downstairs flat and perhaps she needed to move to a bungalow.

Never had another complaint from her since, infact she then tried to get into my good books and we have a friendly enough relationship now. People usually stop bullying once they realise you're not a walkover. Stick up for yourself.

I'd go and have a strong word with her. With neighbours like these, they've usually not go anything better to do than give people a hard time, plus if you give them an inch they will take a mile. I'd be putting her straight, telling her not to be rude to your visitors and if she carry's on wIth the mites you'll report her to the police.

I'm usually one to keep the peace when it's appropriate. In this case I doubt that will work, if anything it'll make it worse

Its out of 100. So what is reasonable for out of 100? I definately dont want to wear wireless headphones whilst watching my TV in bed.

Make an Origami pig out of the note and plonk it on her doorstep as a pig peace offering

This cant affect my tenancy can it? My agent doesnt seem interested. I have a year here, and I really do not want to move again.

@LaraMargot

I have been through this with a former neighbour who was completely batshit and launched a campaign of harassment against me.

Start logging everything she does now. It will be important to establish a pattern of behaviour with the police which will enable you to file a harassment complaint.

You cannot give in to these people and you can’t budge an inch. It’s pathological.

Thepeopleversuswork thank you for that and im sorry you went through this. What exactly do you mean by logging?