Should I have just said nothing?

[nosignal2]

DP was doing something that I don't like which was making the baby jump. Shouting 'boo' loud when baby wasn't expecting it which startled her.
I just said that it isn't great to do that as it effects their nervous system.

DP was then annoyed saying 'why are you criticising me and my parenting?!'

We haven't spoken for a couple of hours but decided to go for a walk with the baby which we'd had planned for today.

During the walk we weren't speaking so DP asked 'do you want to talk about before?'

So I said 'yes, ok.'

Silence. So I asked 'do you want to start?'

DP then says 'I have nothing to say'.
So I asked 'how come you've asked if I want to talk then? When you have nothing to say?'

DP then says 'I'm going home. If we're not talking there's no point in walking together' and has gone so I've just continued the walk with DC.

I know this all sounds really petty.
I'm thinking back over it all and thinking should I have just not said anything at all from the start? Or said something different when I was asked if I wanted to talk about it???

No, he was being a prat and I imagine he was expecting you to apologise rather than have an actual productive conversation.

He sounds juvenile, good luck with that.

No your answer was fine.

He wanted you to do all the talking, you didn'tso he walked away.

Leave him to it, go on with your day as you are.

but it is a horrible thing to do to a child, deliberately startle them. why on earth would he think that is ok?

@Nimbostratus100
It really bothers me and I've said it several times but it just looks like I'm being overly sensitive and critical. DP then said 'it only effects them if it's in excess'. Which also wound me up.

I'd ask him why he'd want to deliberately frighten a baby?

He only wanted to talk if you apologised and grovelled. Making a baby jump and be scared by their care giver is no good to it at all

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I read it as he was asking if you wanted to say more about what happened. You clearly do , but then said nothing to him?

I would have given up too if I were in his shoes.

When you get home say 'I'm ready to talk now. I want to say, from a place of love, stop behaving like a massive dickhead around the baby or I will leave you.'

What a horrible man

Looks like you have two kids now

❤️

What a wanker . Who does that to their own kid

This 100%

He is being very childish. It’s never nice to be told that you’re doing something wrong but if you love your child and want to nurture them you should be able to suck it up.

When you get home, I would tell him that he can continue to give you the silent treatment for as long as he wants but quite frankly your child’s wellbeing means the world to you and you will never apologise for trying to look out for them.

What a horrible thing to do to a baby. Does he enjoy startling her (not to excess)? What other things does he enjoy? Harming animals?

I think what you said was fine.

With the original incident, you might have been over dramatic with it affecting her nervous system, but it’s a bit odd. What was her reaction? If she laughed, then it’s all fine. If she was alarmed and he kept doing it, then that’s cruel.

Exactly. He obviously didn’t want to talk, he wanted you to apologise for “criticising his parenting”.
I can’t imagine wanting to scare my own baby. Not very nice is he.

Maybe he feels embarrassed and awkward for getting called out and his response was just automatic defence.
Is he not confident around the baby or not sure how to play, so it's a bit sensitive?
I do think it's relevant what PP said it very much depends if baby found it funny and was laughing and also how old baby is, I'm not sure i'd ever think it would affect the nervous system but if it made them scared it's just a bit cruel and odd.

Was baby laughing following the suprise or not?

If so, its playing and having fun and your being very over sensitive, if said baby was upset and frightened/crying then id assume your be packing your/his bags and not posting here

Twat