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AIBU?

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Original poster

Snapchat for 11.5 year old?

14 replies

Niffler29 · 01/05/2023 14:34

11 and a half year old DS has asked for Snapchat. He has an iPhone which has screentime limits in place and I have direct access to these limits through my phone. I check his phone once a week and go through messages, photos, browsing history etc and I’ve never seen anything untoward. He’s had his phone since he was 10 and has been pretty responsible with it so far. He doesn’t have any social media apart from WhatsApp.

He has asked if he can get Snapchat. I don’t have it, I’ve never used it before. AIBU to be a bit wary? Does anyone else’s child have it?

OP posts:
depre · 01/05/2023 14:35

He’s had his phone since he was 10 and has been pretty responsible with it so far.

The problem is other people. And you would never know.

Heartsnrainbows · 01/05/2023 14:38

Not a chance in hell. Messages disappear after they've been read so hard to monitor and honestly the amount of dick pics I've had on there, I deleted it.

ballsdeep · 01/05/2023 14:39

It’s a nightmare tbh. Snaps disappear and stories go a quickly and everyone is obsessed with taking pictures of utter shite and posting it. There are loads of group chats and my child’s friends all ask each other ‘ops’ meaning opinions on each other which you can see where that’s heading!! Unfortunately it’s the way my child’s friends communicate. I hate it but I just have to trust that if anything untoward goes on they’ll tell me.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 14:41

11yo is way too young.

TheChosenTwo · 01/05/2023 14:45

Absolutely not.
Last year when I worked in a school it was the biggest source of upset children in year 6. Very easy to be mean because things disappear so quickly. The headteacher wrote to the parents remind them about the age requirements of Snapchat and other social media apps, it was a bit embarrassing at how much she had to explain. There’s only so much schools can do if parents blithely let their kids carry on with all of this stuff (I’m not saying this is you by the way but it was certainly a lot of parents out of our yeargroup!), headteacher said that if anymore lessons were disturbed due to the sorting out of issues caused by Snapchat the night before parents would be called in to deal with it themselves.
It’s a hard no from me. Ds is 11 and in year 6, he hasn’t asked for it but even if he did I wouldn’t allow it. Im a really relaxed parent in lots of ways but when it comes to phones I take a hard line.

batsandeggs · 01/05/2023 15:07

Hard no for me. Messages disappear once they’ve been viewed, complete strangers can add you as a friend, location visibility can be easily disabled / enabled, research has show in can contribute to increased anxiety and depression in children. Absolute hard no for me, despite how disappointing it’ll be for the kid.

WheelsUp · 01/05/2023 15:11

You can't monitor Snapchat because the messages disappear.

MorganKitten · 01/05/2023 15:38

The age for Snapchat is 13, you have to put the dob in, at 16 the child lock comes off, so if you fake his age to get him one then you’d be allowing the age limit to come off early.

Speedweed · 01/05/2023 15:43

It's only used for bullying and sending messages you don't want monitoring parents to see eg porn. Otherwise, it does nothing more than other messaging services he'll already have access to.

TrickorTreacle · 01/05/2023 15:44

@Niffler29 You mentioned your DS11 has no social media except for WhatsApp. How is WhatsApp classed as social media? It's an instant messenger app, like MSN Messenger than 11 year olds used back in the 2000s. It's fine for an 11 year old to use WhatsApp now because that is the equivelent IM app nowadays.

Snapchap is different though because it has disappearing messages, so makes it difficult to audit.

Also, dick pics. Kids shouldn't be sending or receiving dick pics. The kid would be grounded if I found out they were doing it.

CarrotCake01 · 01/05/2023 19:46

Yeeaaah Snapchat is a bit of a dodgy one. I wouldn't suggest it's a good app for kids that age and that is below their minimum age.

I get a lot of random adds on there from people who send dick pics and videos of women getting their boobs out and telling me I can "see more" if I send them money... yeah I'll get right on that .. thanks random lady...

mathanxiety · 01/05/2023 19:55

Have you installed filters on your child's phone?

You need to do this if not. Checking onelce a week won't cut it when s/he gets older and learns to hide stuff from you.

A hard no to Snapchat from me, and the fact your child has asked for it would prompt all sorts of questions about what peers are using their phones for.

fridaytwattery · 01/05/2023 20:28

"How is WhatsApp classed as social media?" @TrickorTreacle

If it was just messaging I'd be inclined to agree but you can post media like photos, gifs etc, hence it falling into the social media side of things.

@Niffler29 as someone who has to deal constantly with the falling out on social media of kids in primary school, I'm against them having access to it, incl WhatsApp because I see how much upset and issues it causes.

As you know WhatsApp yourself, stick with what you know. If you give your child access to anything else, then IMO it's up to the parent to take responsibility in educating themselves about it so they know how it works, why kids want it, the issues surrounding it, how it can be used to abuse others etc.

nofusspot · 01/05/2023 20:30

He has absolutely no need to be using snap chat

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