Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To want to dump my diet partner?

21 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 17/02/2008 11:57

My diet partner was here today. I've been on a diet since November 2007 and numerous times she has asked for my help as it seems she has zero willpower so I have helped loads spending hours telling her about the right food to eat, explaining things she doesn't understand only for her to quit after a few days. A few times I've even gave her money so she can buy the diet foods. So now she started again 2 days ago. It's been hard and she has been trying to drag me down but i've stayed focused. Today when she was here I mentioned I had lost 6lbs since Wednesday which is great as I only usually lose 2lbs weekly and encouraged her that she will be so pleased when she weighs herself next week as the first week is usually a fab loss. She glared at me and came out with a nasty remark. iTHEN LEFT THE ROOM AND HEARD HER SAY TO A FRIEND another nasty remark about me and tried to justify the remark earlier to them. We only talk about the diet, we have nothing else in common and that is the only reason we meet up is because we are diet partners. I am sick of her trying to drag me down and using my time and then calling me behind my back. I was cold with her when she went to leave so I think she knew what she had said was heard. I'm thinking of telling her I am not interested in helping someone so ungrateful and two-faced and never helping her again. Thing is, without anyone to help her and push her she is about 90% destined to fail. What do you think?

OP posts:

Beauregard · 17/02/2008 11:59

I think she is very ungrateful and that she doesn't deserve your help.

((hugs))

kayzisbroody · 17/02/2008 12:01

I would tell her to find someone else. If she cant be bothered to diet properly then what's the point of dragging you down too.

WallOfSilence · 17/02/2008 12:03

What did she say to you & then to your friend, and did the friend stick up for you?

Saturn74 · 17/02/2008 12:03

You're doing so well with your weight loss, Lola.
You don't need people around who will drag you down.
Dump her, and let her sort herself out.

colditz · 17/02/2008 12:03

Dump her.

And well done

TotalChaos · 17/02/2008 12:04

what a user. dump her.

ZippiBabes · 17/02/2008 12:06

dont give people who drag you down your time and energy

you are doing really well

keep it up

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 17/02/2008 12:24

Thanks for your replies I am going to leave her to her own devices from now on and if she comes round i'm going to just nod not even advise her anymore. The first thing she did was roll her eyes and say 'god, who the hell cares'. Obviously I do because i'm the one who has gone from 21stone to just over 18 in 3 months so I'm having the laugh right now! I never imagined I could do it in a million years, was even considering surgery but i'm doing it and it's the biggest acheivement I've ever done, even these 2 stone! I ask everyday how she is doing to encourage her - well not anymore! The second behind my back was "she never shuts up about her diet, I wish she f*cking would put a sock in it'...when you're diet partners what the hell are you supposed to talk about?!?! I don't go on about it neither, I don't even go on at her, I just gently encourage her along the same you would perhaps a child who was potty training but she is an adult and her weight is ruining her life but then it's solely up to her to sort it now because i've gave up bothering. She's always making horrible remarks about my looks too but I always hold my tongue and never retaliate, perhaps I should...she looks like geriatric barbie!

OP posts:

ZippiBabes · 17/02/2008 12:35

you are doing really well lola

that is a real achievement

do you find now you have got a good loss then it is easier to keep going

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 17/02/2008 12:36

Hi Zippi, thanks

I struggled to get back on track after Christmas but now i'm back on track the weight it falling off and it is a real encouragement

OP posts:

ZippiBabes · 17/02/2008 12:37

oh i lapsed with my exercise over christmas but i am back on track now too

RGPargy · 17/02/2008 12:41

Wow, well done Lola!!

Dump the cow - she's obviously got no interest in truly losing weight!

What plan are you following?

ptangyangkipperbang · 17/02/2008 12:48

Fantastic Lola. You don't need her as you're doing so well without her support. Supporting someone is a 2 way thing - something she obviously hasn't realised! Get rid of her.

WanderingTrolley · 17/02/2008 12:52

REally well done on your weight loss Lola.

Your diet partner is jealous, and was expecting you to supply the willpower. As you have been unable to do so - or come up with some unmentioned, unconceived magic solution - she is seething, the twat.

Tell her you can't be her diet partner any more because she's too fat.

Vacua · 17/02/2008 12:59

wow, you've done amazingly! isn't that about 1 stone a month? NEED TO KNOW YOUR DIET

if you need a diet buddy find someone as motivated as you - her failure to lose weight is not your responsibility, and maybe when the time is right she'll get into it properly

but in the meantime you could do without such a 2 faced, using so-called friend, grrrrrr

TwoFirTreesToday · 17/02/2008 15:06

well done!

give her a chocolate biscuit every tome you see her!

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 17/02/2008 17:37

I told her where to go earlier. Felt bad as I hate being nasty to anyone but she's not doing me any favours and I don't want to get off track myself and be miserable again! She is really sneaky and nasty. Her DH used to be really skinny through worrying and stress etc and was really quite sick and she used to moan at him for that because he was all bones. He put all the weight back on again and a little bit extra but then we all went shopping a few days back, us for our diet items and he got a few things when he was there, ice cream, cake, crisps which he can have as he doesn't have a weight problem and she really went off on one at him because he will be eating all that 'nice' food while she will be on diet foods (weight watchers do lovely cakes so no excuse imo)! Poor man can't win either way. I'm sure she is so sick minded she would rather he be ill and bony! We had a big argument anyway and I refused to help her when she came round this afternoon. It's the weight watchers diet. Once you get into it, it is the easiest thing in the world! If you would offer me a chip shop dinner or a chicken and veg dinner before I would take the chippy no contest but the diet has changed my whole life and now I prefer healthier food. The smell of grease actually makes me heave now. If any of you would like a recommendation for weight loss, definately try weight watchers. So glad to hear you're back on track zippi!!! Keep it up girl! Thanks for all your words of encouragement

OP posts:

RGPargy · 18/02/2008 09:14

Good for you! Glad you showed her the door!

paddingtonbear1 · 18/02/2008 09:20

wow Lola you are doing really well, you don't need people like her dragging you down. sounds like if she doesn't succeed, she doesn't want you to either. Well done and keep going!

themildmanneredjanitor · 18/02/2008 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 19/02/2008 11:54

Hey thanks for all your replies!

mmj, do you have a weight watchers meeting near to you? I know it is expensivhe but it is really worth it. You can also join online too. If you do join ask to do the points plan. If you really want to avoid joining then go on ebay and get a starter kit with the handbook which explains what do to. Also you can join the WW forum free. It's great for a natter like here but much quieter! Good on you for having the strength to start! Weight Watchers do really nice desserts, cakes and everything so you don't feel like you are missing out and you can have anything you want as each food item has a points value and as long as you add them up each day and don't go over your allocated points allowance then you are destined to lose! Th best advice someone from here gave me was to make small goals for yourself rather than the 'I want to lose 4 stone' or whatever, just make your goals small like 'My first goal is to lose 7 lbs' which is half a stone and is easily achievable!

Really good luck to you. Keep going even if the first few weeks are hard while your body adjusts but it will be so worth it! Let us know how you get on

OP posts:

Flip