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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about my dd's education

72 replies

BelleMarionette · 30/04/2023 21:55

She started in reception, only for schools to close shortly afterwards with the first lockdown. She went to key worker provision, but it was just childcare. I had no time to home school as I was working crazy hours on the covid wards, and also emotionally and physically drained (and traumatised too). Same again for second lockdown.

She then had nearly a whole year of supply teachers, which changed daily or weekly. She did not learn at all in this time.

She has struggled massively with school, and been diagnosed with autism. I have applied for an EHCP but the council has refused to assess. Now she is missing lots more school this year too due to strikes.

School initially denied she was behind academically, but then acknowledged she was, but said that all the children were.

She just feels like one of many of a lost generation. Sadly I can't afford private school, and won't ever be able without a career change.

Aibu to think children are being failed currently?

OP posts:
lapwnbx · 30/04/2023 23:06

You've had some very polite, reasonable and helpful responses, but I suspect that wasn't what you were looking for OP 😉

Jourdain11 · 30/04/2023 23:42

1AngelicFruitCake · 30/04/2023 22:48

Surely reception year she had a normal year until March? So 6 months in school, 5 months out. All children were back in Aurumn so year 1 she was in school September - December then mid March-July? Then she was in all of Year 3?

Yes my own children have gaps but I think it’s an exaggeration to say 3 years have been messed up.

We get this in uni too; students saying "I've had 5 years of disrupted education" or "we've never had to sit exams in person ever". They've had a rough deal, for sure, but exaggerating doesn't help their case!

Original poster
BelleMarionette · 01/05/2023 00:46

Reception interrupted by covid, then year one. What school they had post covid was either on a reduced timetable due to distancing requirements, or very different to normal. Year 2 no consistent teacher, so a complete write off sadly. Currently in year 3. Apologies if this wasn't clear. So overall it's been a huge amount of disruption for little children.

I will appeal for the EHCP but will of course have the wait for this. Thank you floatingbean for the detailed reply. It's such a complicated system.

OP posts:
MillieMollieMandy1 · 01/05/2023 08:32

Some good advice on here. Your daughter has a reduced timetable and 1:1 support. Work with the school, support with activities at home. Work with the school to appeal the EHCP. However that isn't what you want to hear. You were looking to place blame on schools and teachers, the pandemic response and now strikes.

cansu · 01/05/2023 08:37

A lot of your post is nonsense. Get on with appealing the refusal to issue an EHCP. There are template letters on IPSEA's website.

Gtsr443 · 01/05/2023 08:48

Yes it's a bloody mess.
I hate to say this but don't expect the EHCP to be the answer to everything. My son's hasn't been worth the paper it's written on due to lack of specialist provision and staff and a local authority who are happy to dump kids anywhere just to meet their legal obligations.
It's been ten years of endless battles trying to get placements to meet EHCP needs. (Independent specialist schools being the worst.)
I'll be very relieved when these school years are over. And I know I'm not the only SEND parent who feels that way.
Good luck OP.

luckylavender · 01/05/2023 08:55

BelleMarionette · 30/04/2023 21:55

She started in reception, only for schools to close shortly afterwards with the first lockdown. She went to key worker provision, but it was just childcare. I had no time to home school as I was working crazy hours on the covid wards, and also emotionally and physically drained (and traumatised too). Same again for second lockdown.

She then had nearly a whole year of supply teachers, which changed daily or weekly. She did not learn at all in this time.

She has struggled massively with school, and been diagnosed with autism. I have applied for an EHCP but the council has refused to assess. Now she is missing lots more school this year too due to strikes.

School initially denied she was behind academically, but then acknowledged she was, but said that all the children were.

She just feels like one of many of a lost generation. Sadly I can't afford private school, and won't ever be able without a career change.

Aibu to think children are being failed currently?

All children are being failed. That's why teachers are striking. Conditions for teachers are atrocious.

MillieMollieMandy1 · 01/05/2023 09:09

@Gtsr443 - totally agree. Thankfully my DD is now through the schools system. Off topic but you read so often on MN how specialist provision is the answer. There is so much good, bad and terrible provision in the specialist sector - just like mainstream. It really isn't always "the answer'.

Spendonsend · 01/05/2023 09:16

Yes its a mess.
Three years were disrupted by covid. I wish people wouldnt minmise it. The year that schools were fully i

Things like misding tge end of reception mean children moved onto key stage one, which has a whole different framework, without finishing their early learning goals. The curriculumn then moves at a pace where they dont really ever get that highly structured learning through play again. Which is fine for some chikdren but for others leaves a gap.

ConsuelaHammock · 01/05/2023 12:22

Do you know her NRIT or cat test results? Is she dyslexic? Can she read?
I have a child in my class who is working about three years behind his peers. He has a one to one and is making some progress but his NRIT scores and cat tests results are extremely low.
Unfortunately you will have to work with her at home. 30 children to one teacher is never going to work if several of the children have sen.

Hankunamatata · 01/05/2023 12:35

Fight for ehcp, perhaps mainstream isnt where she needs to be. Focus on her learning. Where she is now with her reading and maths and how that can be moved forward. Doesn't matter she isn't at her age targets what matters is that she is slowly and steadily improving. She isn't lost she is in primary school and she can learn

Original poster
BelleMarionette · 01/05/2023 21:56

ConsuelaHammock · 01/05/2023 12:22

Do you know her NRIT or cat test results? Is she dyslexic? Can she read?
I have a child in my class who is working about three years behind his peers. He has a one to one and is making some progress but his NRIT scores and cat tests results are extremely low.
Unfortunately you will have to work with her at home. 30 children to one teacher is never going to work if several of the children have sen.

No I don't, but I paid privately for an educational psychologist assessment, as the waiting list for one via the local authority was several years long. I asked them if dyslexia might be an issue, and they said unlikely. Her intelligence was also tested and was normal. They said likely inability to learn in the school classroom environment.

OP posts:
Original poster
BelleMarionette · 01/05/2023 21:58

Hankunamatata · 01/05/2023 12:35

Fight for ehcp, perhaps mainstream isnt where she needs to be. Focus on her learning. Where she is now with her reading and maths and how that can be moved forward. Doesn't matter she isn't at her age targets what matters is that she is slowly and steadily improving. She isn't lost she is in primary school and she can learn

I'm totally open to specialist provision. However it's not an option without an EHCP of course, and even then would be hard to get a place at. The system is so broken.

OP posts:
Original poster
BelleMarionette · 01/05/2023 21:59

Gtsr443 · 01/05/2023 08:48

Yes it's a bloody mess.
I hate to say this but don't expect the EHCP to be the answer to everything. My son's hasn't been worth the paper it's written on due to lack of specialist provision and staff and a local authority who are happy to dump kids anywhere just to meet their legal obligations.
It's been ten years of endless battles trying to get placements to meet EHCP needs. (Independent specialist schools being the worst.)
I'll be very relieved when these school years are over. And I know I'm not the only SEND parent who feels that way.
Good luck OP.

Oh no. Sorry to hear this. I would hope with the EHCP we could at least get a place at a secondary school which is good for autistic children, and has specialist provision. We aren't in the catchment so wouldn't get a place without one.

OP posts:
Curtains70 · 01/05/2023 22:06

Yes Covid was a big disruption to education but all kids are in the same boat and they didn't miss 3 years of school. I'm confused at that calculation.

Strikes aren't ideal but definitely necessary to improve the resources in schools which I'm sure as somebody who works in a hospital setting you understand and support.

Skiggles2018 · 01/05/2023 22:22

Ah so you can see why the teachers are striking!
The teacher retention crisis is real!
The school definitely won’t want to be paying out for supply teachers (who are less accountable - curriculum coverage, marking, planning to name a few). Rather than having a contracted teacher to teach your child’s class.

Teachers see how the lack of funding in schools is affecting pupils - especially pupils with additional needs.
This is why the strikes have to happen so pay-rises are not taken out of school budgets! It will only get worse and worse if action isn’t taken so losing 6 days education is better than having the rest of their educational lives poorly funded with a lack of teachers and TAs having to leave because they can’t afford to do the job.

Original poster
BelleMarionette · 02/05/2023 17:18

Skiggles2018 · 01/05/2023 22:22

Ah so you can see why the teachers are striking!
The teacher retention crisis is real!
The school definitely won’t want to be paying out for supply teachers (who are less accountable - curriculum coverage, marking, planning to name a few). Rather than having a contracted teacher to teach your child’s class.

Teachers see how the lack of funding in schools is affecting pupils - especially pupils with additional needs.
This is why the strikes have to happen so pay-rises are not taken out of school budgets! It will only get worse and worse if action isn’t taken so losing 6 days education is better than having the rest of their educational lives poorly funded with a lack of teachers and TAs having to leave because they can’t afford to do the job.

Nothing to do with retention, just the teacher going on sick leave but being signed off week to week for the whole year, so the school couldn't get a long term supply of replacement.

OP posts:
Skiggles2018 · 02/05/2023 17:22

BelleMarionette · 02/05/2023 17:18

Nothing to do with retention, just the teacher going on sick leave but being signed off week to week for the whole year, so the school couldn't get a long term supply of replacement.

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Definitely to do with retention then.
Teacher could be so overworked and off with stress, could have a medical condition being looked into.
It’ll be down to the doctors why it’s week to week being given sick notes not the teacher.
I expect the teacher feels guilty enough.

All of these things do add to the teacher retention crisis as well as parents’ attitudes to teachers being human.

ilovesooty · 02/05/2023 17:28

BelleMarionette · 02/05/2023 17:18

Nothing to do with retention, just the teacher going on sick leave but being signed off week to week for the whole year, so the school couldn't get a long term supply of replacement.

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How do you know the details of the teacher's sick note?

There might still have been no long term replacement available anyway, or any budget to pay for one.

SpringTimeCartwheels · 02/05/2023 20:15

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 30/04/2023 22:17

Teachers are striking to improve the situation for your child in the future. Please support them as without massive changes this will get worse.

How exactly would teachers like parent to support them?! We have no choice in the matter!

ilovesooty · 02/05/2023 20:19

SpringTimeCartwheels · 02/05/2023 20:15

How exactly would teachers like parent to support them?! We have no choice in the matter!

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Not whining about them on social media and not blaming them for the strikes might be a start.

SpringTimeCartwheels · 02/05/2023 20:23

Strikes are supposed to be annoying.
Parents are annoyed by them.

It's not that they don't want education to be better funded.

It's just a tough time for everyone right now. Not just teachers.

I'd love everyone to stop voting Tory and for the £250 million we are spending on the coronation to be put into education & healthcare.

I can still find my children being forced to miss more school a pain in the arse. Get over it.

Andrexpup · 02/05/2023 20:33

SpringTimeCartwheels · 02/05/2023 20:23

Strikes are supposed to be annoying.
Parents are annoyed by them.

It's not that they don't want education to be better funded.

It's just a tough time for everyone right now. Not just teachers.

I'd love everyone to stop voting Tory and for the £250 million we are spending on the coronation to be put into education & healthcare.

I can still find my children being forced to miss more school a pain in the arse. Get over it.

Well hopefully the tourism and investment generated by the coronation will be channeled into education and healthcare.

With a couple of billion people tuning in to watch and world leaders flying in, I expect it will produce some revenue.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 02/05/2023 20:37

SpringTimeCartwheels · 02/05/2023 20:15

How exactly would teachers like parent to support them?! We have no choice in the matter!

Show quote history

You do realise some teachers are also parents? I love how some people think parents are a unique group that are completely separate from teachers and the two do not overlap at all.

How about writing to your MP expressing concern to try and put pressure on them, signing petitions, not joining in with the bitching online, educating yourself about the impact on local schools, developing parent-teacher groups to work in collaboration with the school about the challenges, making others aware instead of listening to the Daily Fail.

LIZS · 02/05/2023 20:45

If a school has a space in the right year you don't need to be in catchment to take the place. Have you appealed the LA decision not to assess?