Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour relationship breakdown

55 replies

Cavpoo2023 · 30/04/2023 21:31

Evening all, I would like some on advice on whether I am being unreasonable or not about feeling upset about the breakdown between my family and our neighbours. I don’t know if anyone on here remembers my previous post about my neighbours who kept driving over my drive and walking over it etc.

We’ve lived here for just over a year now and basically after 10 months of us parking awkwardly trying to get them to take the hint, we ended up taking physical action and if anyone read my previous post they will remember me saying the reason our patience wore out was because they very nearly scratched my DP’s car because they squeezed in between one of theirs and ours to get of their drive.

They did speak to us now and again up until the situation happened but it was only small talk, so basically long story short after they squeezed down the side of our car we put plant pots down the side of the drive along the boundary line.

Since the plant pots have gone down they basically do not talk to us or our children anymore at all.. not even a hello even though we continue to say morning when we do see them. I said to my other half I feel sad that this happened because I did want a good relationship with them and that if this was the other way I would feel mortified that my neighbours felt they had to take any action at all. They seem to have dropped talk with us like we are at fault but it was their actions which were unneighbourly first.

should I just accept that there will never be a good relationship between them or should I just keep trying to be friendly and hope that the longer we live here we may just become neighbourly again if we don’t cause any other rifts?

maybe kill them with kindness?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 30/04/2023 21:33

I would be delighted personally.

Boomboom22 · 30/04/2023 21:34

Well eventually they'll say hello. Until then enjoy the silence as they are knobs.

TrashyPanda · 30/04/2023 21:36

They keep showing you they are arseholes, don’t they?

sometimes it’s best just to give a vague smile in their direction and leave it at that.

you haven’t done anything wrong.

hettie · 30/04/2023 21:37

You need to channel your inner Queen Elsa and🎵 let it go, let it go...🎵. Your neighbors are interesting entitled arses and you won't ever have a pleasant relationship as you aunt beholden yourself to them make your house a free car park

ThisSingleMama · 30/04/2023 21:37

You could have spoken to them about it at the beginning?

Original poster
Cavpoo2023 · 30/04/2023 21:41

The plant pots stop them from driving over the drive but they still ride their bike down between our side and 3 times their son who came to visit today purposefully walked down our drive to get to his car which was parked on the road but in front of their house not ours..

I just thought why not walk down the left hand side of your car why walk down the right hand side of the car but right in the middle of our drive where you know our camera will pick you up and then turn left to go to your car.. it makes no sense other than to annoy us.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 30/04/2023 21:47

Ignore them.
You can't completely control where they walk.
No, you wont be friends with them.
Dont spend any more time thinking about them.

Of course they are doing things just to bother you now, it's for a reaction.

Stop looking at them so much to be able to count how many times one of them walks over your drive in a day.

It sounds a bit obsessive on your part.

Original poster
Cavpoo2023 · 30/04/2023 21:47

@ThisSingleMama We thought about it but when we first moved in we knew they were best friends with the previous owner who all bought the houses as the 1st occupiers in the 70’s.

We thought they might stop then when we started parking on the right hand side of the drive which is attached to theirs, our drive has been widened from the previous keeper but it is no way shared. We only had one car so they could easily reverse behind our car and drive off. We then parked down the bottom right hand side so they couldn’t but they just drove straight past the top half and then down the left hand side so really making it obvious that they knew it was annoying but didn’t care.

we didn’t want to ruin neighbour relations by saying anything especially when we’ve kids and dogs and we understand we may be loud but like my DP says that is not a reason for us to let them get away with CF behaviour.

OP posts:
Ikeatears · 30/04/2023 21:49

please can we have a diagram?

Aquamarine1029 · 30/04/2023 21:51

Ignore them completely. Put up a fence of some kind of you can. These people were never meant to be your friends.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/04/2023 21:52

And cameras. Put up cameras to catch any damage they may cause.

mexicanandafewdrinks · 30/04/2023 21:54

build a wall down middle to completely seperate

BeetleBailey · 30/04/2023 21:54

Fuck them

Why do you have this desire to be best friends with cunts?

They've got no respect for you and you want to be friends with them

CaroleSinger · 30/04/2023 21:58

This is what happens when you stand up to piss takers. They get all petty because are entitled and don't like being prevented from taking the piss because they think they should be allowed to do what they like and you shouldn't stop them. It's a victim mentality of sorts. Please don't feel sad about people like this. They aren't worth the headspace.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 30/04/2023 22:01

Diagram please?

currently can’t really see why you got so annoyed…

FangsForTheMemory · 30/04/2023 22:04

Let them get on with it. One of my neighbours maintained a one-sided 15-year feud with me over very little. I think she needed a hobby.

Inthesamesinkingboat · 30/04/2023 22:08

Why do you want to be friends with these people?

BeerBot · 30/04/2023 22:14

Need a diagram

Aquamarine1029 · 30/04/2023 22:18

mexicanandafewdrinks · 30/04/2023 21:54

build a wall down middle to completely seperate

Yup.

QueenSmartypants · 30/04/2023 22:28

Wait a moment. Did this get featured in the papers?

I'm sure I saw something where neighbours drove into plant pots put down a shared drive after they'd scratched a car...all caught on on doorbell.

Was probably boredom browsing the daily fail at the time 😄

Matchymatchylemonscratchy · 30/04/2023 22:30

I’d be putting up a fence or wall personally. Check with council perhaps?

I also wouldn’t give them a moment more headspace. They are arseholes.

TheHouseElf · 30/04/2023 22:31

They became used to things being a certain way with the previous occupiers and developed a sense of entitlement and you've gone and changed all that for them, so they're having a hissy over it.

Our ND's parents always used to park outside of our house every weekend, and the husband did with his van quiet often too, but this completely blocked us being able to see down the road to pull out from our drive safely. The parents could have parked in front of their car and there was space on their driveway for the husband van too. So we now park my little car out there, and they've got really pissed with us about it. We could put it on the drive, but then we're back to not being able to see to pull out safely. We did speak to them a couple of time about them parking a bit further back from the driveway entrance we that we could see, but they just kept ignored us.

miniegg3 · 30/04/2023 22:35

Yes definitely a diagram please 😀

switswooo · 30/04/2023 22:36

Why are you sad about the pricks not talking to you?

We have lovely neighbours and I still avoiding talking to them 🤣

I’m so glad you stopped most of their cheeky behaviour.

They are deliberately walking on your drive because they know they are in the wrong and are punishing you for it.

Be grateful you’re not like them and move on. Stop saying anything to them!

switswooo · 30/04/2023 22:41

And I do remember your thread, OP. These people are not worth being sad about, not even a little bit, not even at all!