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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parties only fun for the host?

17 replies

woodengrey · 30/04/2023 19:46

Yesterday after attending a friends party it's got me wondering whether parties are only ever really fun for the host?

I would of course never say this to my friend or anyone out loud, and was very positive and friendly yesterday but secretly I found the party to be anti-climatic, I didn't enjoy the food (plus there wasn't enough to go round and I was left hungry), I was also cold, didn't hardly know anybody, there was no entertainment of any sort etc. So I left thinking it was a bit naff but then thought, to be fair, is that how everyone probably feels at my parties? Is it only really the host who enjoys the party since everyone they love is there and they're rushing round chatting to everyone so the time flies and they have a fab time? Or is totally possible to enjoy a party but was today just a little bit naff?

YABU - parties can be loads of fun for guests, if it's a good party

YANBU - parties are usually only fun for those who are hosting/know everyone there

OP posts:
TheSnowyOwl · 30/04/2023 19:49

I never enjoy parties that I host but I’m fairly antisocial and don’t always enjoy ones that I’m not hosting either.

DiddyHeck · 30/04/2023 19:49

I think most situations are only as good as the people in them. It's possible to have fun if you put your mind to it.

Why were you hungry? Did you not manage to eat before you got there?

jotunn · 30/04/2023 19:51

I don't think parties are fun at all for the host! Rushing around checking everyone has been spoken to, has someone to talk to, has enough to eat and drink etc and that's after spending ages getting the room ready / tidying up etc.

MMMarmite · 30/04/2023 19:52

I think it depends on the party. Takes considerate hosting for it to be fun for everyone. And it's much easier if people already know each other somewhat.

DorisParchment · 30/04/2023 19:52

The only good parties are ones where people think you are hilarious or you cop off with someone.

Original poster
woodengrey · 30/04/2023 19:53

jotunn · 30/04/2023 19:51

I don't think parties are fun at all for the host! Rushing around checking everyone has been spoken to, has someone to talk to, has enough to eat and drink etc and that's after spending ages getting the room ready / tidying up etc.

To be fair this is also so true 😆

OP posts:
BHRK · 30/04/2023 19:53

You’re kidding aren’t you? Parties can be incredibly stressful for the host. The parties you go to sound dull… the parties I host and attend are very lively with a fun group of friends and music and drinks. Lots of food. I also LOVE attending parties where I don’t have to do anything.

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/04/2023 19:55

Ooft, no, being the host is so stressful. I far prefer going to other peoples parties!

Original poster
woodengrey · 30/04/2023 20:01

It's so true being a host is stressful also!

Maybe the perfect combo is attending a fun party where you know lots of people but don't have the stress of hosting!
I think maybe I went wrong a bit yesterday as I just didn't know enough people. Not sure what to learn from that for my own future parties though to ensure guests enjoy!?
I am good at mingling but it's never quite the same as genuinely knowing loads of people there...

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 30/04/2023 20:01

What kind of 'entertainment' would you expect at parties? I thought the party was the entertainment

BHRK · 30/04/2023 20:03

I think if you don’t know many people there’s a limit to how much you will enjoy it. But a party filled with friends is great

Summerscoming23 · 30/04/2023 20:06

Did you bring any food? My friends and I help each other and bring something when someone is hosting

switswooo · 30/04/2023 20:06

I don’t enjoy parties or dinner parties that I host (I do like to ensure everyone is comfortable and has plenty of food, and the only bit I like is being complimented on my food/cooking).

I host as a form of social currency, to reciprocate other people’s hospitality, as I enjoy other people’s parties.

SimonsCow · 30/04/2023 20:16

I usually have fun at a party but I don’t think I would bother going if I didn’t know anyone other than the host. The fun is in spending time with friends. Trying to socialise with a room full of strangers sounds bloody awful.

Sissynova · 30/04/2023 20:18

I would say it’s usually the opposite since the hosts are the ones putting in work for the party.
Sounds like you are just antisocial and don’t enjoy parties.

merryhouse · 30/04/2023 23:35

When I go to a party I make sure I have a nice drink and some nice food and then I find someone who's having an enjoyable conversation. So long as that's all there I consider it a success.

(I do try to contribute to the enjoyable conversation, and normally manage it after a while.)

UsingChangeofName · 01/05/2023 00:05

I mean, obviously YABU. Of course parties can be loads of fun for guests, if it's a good party. Generally, it is the guests that make a party.

I mean, was this at someone's house ?
Or were you in a hall or something ?
What time of day was it and what was the occasion (as it makes a difference as to both entertainment, and food) ?

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