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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m never ever ever buying a house. How do people even do it?!

366 replies

misstartan · 30/04/2023 16:57

I’m 26 and I just feel like giving up. I currently flat share with a friend but want to move in with DP soon.

I have £2500 saved up and that’s it. DP has about the same so we’re nowhere near a deposit. We’re both earning a decent amount but we’re not putting enough away. I’ve tried budgeting etc and put about £300 a month away if I’m lucky.

But realistically deposits will be around 30k now, so I’m only about 28 away… 😂😭

Thing is, I’ve always had it in my head that I’d have bought a house and got married before I have kids. And I’ve always wanted to start having kids by 30. Only gives me 4 years..
I genuinely genuinely do not see how this is going to happen and it really upsets me 🙁

How do people do it?! The

OP posts:
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5
Sarah2891 · 30/04/2023 17:38

misstartan · 30/04/2023 17:08

We live in the Essex area so very very pricey sadly, can’t find much for under £350k

I live in a fairly nice part of Essex and you can get 2 bed houses in the region of £250k. You have to start with quite low expectations regarding how many bedrooms etc you want.

ag7962 · 30/04/2023 17:39

It was 11 years ago now but I saved almost 30k on my own, I worked alot didn't really spend anything Including on clothes etc sometimes doing 70plua hours a week so it is possible just bloody hard for a few years. Not necessarily suggesting you do this! Just that it can be done (or could be then).

Nevermind31 · 30/04/2023 17:40

I was 37 when we bought our first property. As our salaries went up the amount we saved went up.
but yeah, no chance when we were in our 20s

Tulipsemerging · 30/04/2023 17:40

Lots depends on help from the bank of mummy and daddy or grandparents. Some earn enough to get on the ladder. Varies really. Different parts of the country different FTB prices too.

kingtamponthefurred · 30/04/2023 17:41

Unless you really need to be in Essex, consider moving to a cheaper part of the country.

Woahtherehoney · 30/04/2023 17:41

ALittleBitAlexa · 30/04/2023 17:13

I don't believe that, sorry. Are you looking at starter flats or expecting to move straight in your 4 bed detached 'forever home'?

Show quote history

I wish a 4 bed forever home in Essex was £350k. We paid £300k for a small 2 bed 😩

DisquietintheRanks · 30/04/2023 17:42

Well I moved from the SE to S Yorks. That helped.

Baxdream · 30/04/2023 17:42

It really depends. Some stay at home rather than moving out to blitz the deposit in a couple of years, others will gradually do it over a long period.
For example if you put away £200 per month since you were 21, you'd have £12k now (I obviously don't know your circumstances)

It really does come down to priorities though- eg you can't have a brand new car, swanky holidays and then buy an instagramable 3 bed semi (again not saying you but I do think we have to teach our children that it's all fake and most of us bought a ropey flat in a rough area first!)
my stepchild is 17 and has already started saving, which makes us very proud.

Could you rent a room together to reduce your outgoings?

Mitfordian · 30/04/2023 17:43

Can you earn more? Earning more is so much easier than cutting back and the way we bought in our late twenties without any help or inheritance. (Appreciate salaries are fairly static or on strict pay scales in some sectors so may not be possible).

wildfirewonder · 30/04/2023 17:44

@misstartan It is really tough these days.

I don't think anyone can say anything to change the reality, but I would say that it is not impossible with two people working and a really hard push.

You would need to be super thrifty for a few years - are you willing to do that?

But yes it is shit Sad

It wasn't easy when I bought but it gets harder all the time.

Gymmum82 · 30/04/2023 17:44

We only managed because my grandparents died and left me £20k. Would never have been able to save that

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 30/04/2023 17:45

Move somewhere cheaper or look at Shared ownership.

AdoraBell · 30/04/2023 17:46

It’s horrendous now. We’re fortunate that we’re older, me mid-fifties and DH mid-sixties. I have no idea how our DDs will afford to buy a home, and stepson is extremely stressed about his mortgage going up next month when he comes off the fixed rate.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 30/04/2023 17:47

It took me until 33 and earning £75k to be able to save for a deposit while paying Home Counties rent. With two of you it'll be quicker if you focus on career progression and saving.

The housing system in this country is fucked.

Hayliebells · 30/04/2023 17:47

Do you work near either sets of parents, and do they have a spare room? Most of the people who I know who didn't direct get parental help with a deposit, lived with parents rent free in order to save for a deposit.

Dotcheck · 30/04/2023 17:47

misstartan · 30/04/2023 17:08

We live in the Essex area so very very pricey sadly, can’t find much for under £350k

Are you sure? Are you looking in a specific area or for a specific type of house?

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 30/04/2023 17:49

Could you move back and stay with your parents? That would save you money. I am a lot older than you and do 2 jobs. Not saying its great but if you need something then you have to work extra for it. You are young, at your age it will be easier for you to take up a second job

Newmum0322 · 30/04/2023 17:50

You can pick up a nice 1 bed apartment in Essex for between 200-250k
You can also get 5% deposit mortgages, I think NatWest offer them.

Thats how me and friends I know started out.

It depends how you do it, if you want a more favourable interest rate in a 2 terraced house with a garden for example, then yes it will cost you more.

Plethoraofwoo · 30/04/2023 17:51

What is it you are looking for that’s coming up at that price?
If you are wanting to get in the property ladder to stop paying rent there are plenty of apartments around the £100,000, there’s even shared ownership apartments for £80k.
We all start somewhere. We struggled to scrape a deposit together for a 2 up 2 down terrace for our first home, it was two hose moves before we got our detached house. Maybe you need to compromise on what your first home together is going to look like.

Eviebeans · 30/04/2023 17:52

Which part of Essex do you want to be in?

CarrotCake01 · 30/04/2023 17:53

I get upset over this too, so you're not alone 😅
I'm 30 and I can't see me ever having the opportunity to buy a home.
I'm a single mum to a 5 year old.
I work and am on benefits to top up my wages. If my savings reach as much as £6,000, I have to declare it and my benefits will decrease as a result so I'll just eat back into it again.
Unless I win the lottery or find a partner, it's an impossible situation for me.

pfftt · 30/04/2023 17:53

ALittleBitAlexa · 30/04/2023 17:10

Is it possible for either of you to move back with parents temporarily? I lived at home through uni, saved from the age of 18, worked weekends and summers. I rented with an ex from the age of 20. We split up at 25, I moved back with my parents for 9 months and saved like mad. I had a 10% deposit on a 1 bed flat at 26 (in 2016 so not that long ago). I'm not saying it's not hard but there seems to be a lot of online drama about it being impossible unless you have rich parents. It's not, you just have to save and prepare and compromise.

The biggest outgoing by far is rent. You were lucky to be able to move back home. Many people don't have this option. It's easy to say it's 'doable' when you have an option others don't have. Had you not been able to move home and had to pay rent, would he be in your current situation? I think not.

MintJulia · 30/04/2023 17:54

misstartan · 30/04/2023 17:08

We live in the Essex area so very very pricey sadly, can’t find much for under £350k

A one bed flat in Essex costs £350,000.

Really? You must be able to find something less expensive than that, surely.

Porkandbeans1 · 30/04/2023 17:55

We made use of a HTB ISA (I don't think LISAs were an option), bought in a cheaper area and really scrimped for quite a few years. We lived in the grottiest house, never went out and I spreadsheeted all our expenses to the penny.

But I don't think we would be able to do it again OP. The house we paid £90k for in 2014 is now worth £160k. I wish I could be more optimistic but its shit.

TLDR; we got lucky.

Darcy86 · 30/04/2023 17:55

We're 36 and 38 and only just got onto the ladder on a 3 bed semi in the south east in November just gone, that's because we moved in with my in laws for 6mths and managed to save a decent amount plus they kindly gave us some early inheritance to help with legal fees etc. We earn ok money (roughly £100k combined) and I find it crazy we had to have this help in order to do it but prices are insane plus we have extortionate childcare to account for too. It's so tough without help, we know how lucky we are.