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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why people still use this word.

372 replies

Creepycrawler · 30/04/2023 16:30

Half caste

My children are mixed race and my son when to his friend's house for a sleepover last night.
I was chatting to the mum when she used this term about another boy who '' is half caste as well''. Luckily, my son was in the car and didn't hear.
I was recently in hospital and having a conversation with someone who also used the term and I excused myself to go outside and sat somewhere else.

... And it's not just here. Several years ago H' s (Nigerian) aunty visited from Africa and used the term. We were both very uncomfortable and H told her we don't use that word.

Do people really not understand that it's offensive?

There is still a lot of racism where we live now (South Wales) and we get a lot of it at school ( where I work). I don't think this woman made the comment intentionally but surely people know by now not to use it?

OP posts:
girlfriend44 · 30/04/2023 17:42

I have not heard half caste for years, but have heard coloured.

YouWithoutEnd · 30/04/2023 17:43

willWillSmithsmith · 30/04/2023 17:41

I watched a documentary with some very famous, very successful, very rich black singers and they were all calling each other the N word. I was really shocked as I can’t understand why such an offensive and disrespectful word is being reclaimed (or at least used very freely) by them. I know now that it seems acceptable as long as you’re black but I also know that a lot of black people don’t like it. It seems to me to give mixed messages - it’s ok but it’s not ok🤷‍♀️, (but admittedly I am white so may be shouldn’t have an opinion on it). Personally I have never used the word and am sorry your children have had to endure that.

Show quote history

I don’t think you need to concern yourself with how black people are comfortable referring to each other, nor police any perceived inequity in the use of that language. It’s enough to know that it isn’t a word for white people to have access to and that’s it.

nakeklak · 30/04/2023 17:44

@Familyfoods thank you

I thought it meant a cast of different colours/ heritages. I don't reckon it's common knowledge that caste means pure

Maireas · 30/04/2023 17:44

Spring2008 · 30/04/2023 17:42

Sadly people still do.
I find it offensive when people throw the "m" word about as I have a child with Down's Syndrome, and amazingly some people still use the term mentally handicapped which makes me feel physically sick.
The same when I hear the "R" word as my son can't speak.

That's horrible. Not just thoughtless and ignorant, but nasty. 💐

WheelsUp · 30/04/2023 17:46

I'm mixed race and grew up hearing the phrase hc. I didn't realise that it was a slur until I learned about the caste system which made it obvious that it was unacceptable. I last heard the teen in the early 90s.

Dual heritage doesn't make sense either as you can have mixed parents from different backgrounds plus heritage and race aren't necessarily the same thing.

willWillSmithsmith · 30/04/2023 17:46

Spring2008 · 30/04/2023 17:42

Sadly people still do.
I find it offensive when people throw the "m" word about as I have a child with Down's Syndrome, and amazingly some people still use the term mentally handicapped which makes me feel physically sick.
The same when I hear the "R" word as my son can't speak.

Really, wow that’s so ignorant of them. The problem with the R word is that it does have a valid definition which can be (legitimately) used in certain scenarios. Certainly not aimed at children though, what the heck is wrong with people!

TheMarzipanDildo · 30/04/2023 17:47

Most people don’t. Out of those who do, most are behind the times, and some are doing it on purpose because they are goady.

I don’t understand why dual heritage is better than mixed race though. What if you have more than two heritages, ie your mum’s half Asian half white and your dad is black?

SparklyLeprechaun · 30/04/2023 17:47

I don't actually know if I was aware it was offensive or not. I don't think I've heard this word used in the past 30 years. I certainly didn't know mixed race was considered offensive nowadays.

BunnyFun · 30/04/2023 17:48

I'm going to use mixed heritage from now on, that seems to be inoffensive.

JudgeJ · 30/04/2023 17:49

notsayingmuch · 30/04/2023 16:33

Well, you have used an outdated word yourself! We were told in a staff meeting to never use mixed race but to use dual heritage. Words keep changing and unless you get told to use different words it can be hard to keep in the loop.

That's the problem the 'acceptable' words seem to change regularly and people find themselves using the 'wrong' word totally innocently.

JudgeJ · 30/04/2023 17:50

BunnyFun · 30/04/2023 17:48

I'm going to use mixed heritage from now on, that seems to be inoffensive.

But beware, in a year or so that too may become offensive.

x2boys · 30/04/2023 17:50

Spring2008 · 30/04/2023 17:42

Sadly people still do.
I find it offensive when people throw the "m" word about as I have a child with Down's Syndrome, and amazingly some people still use the term mentally handicapped which makes me feel physically sick.
The same when I hear the "R" word as my son can't speak.

I think handicapped is the correct term in America ?Although they also use intellectual disabilities,but the terminology around disabilities is also a minefield .My son has severe autism and learning disabilities,and is also non verbal he's nearly13_the language evolves,all the time.although some language is abhorrent too.

Moveoverdarlin · 30/04/2023 17:51

I didn’t think it was appropriate to say mixed raced either? I think many people are genuinely shit scared to speak for fear of being labelled racist or saying the wrong thing.

CityCommuter · 30/04/2023 17:51

Yes there are a lot of words and phrases that shouldn't be used nowadays but not everyone keeps up... someone I was chatting to recently mentioned her colleague having a child with 'special needs',... only for I was on an inclusion and diversity course last month I politely let her know that 'special needs' could cause offence / hurt now and shouldn't be used but instead the term is 'additional needs' is more inclusive and appropriate...

BunnyFun · 30/04/2023 17:53

Does that mean that SEN (Special educational needs) is inappropriate)?

bellsbuss · 30/04/2023 17:54

Older black members of my family still say half caste and coloured

mainsfed · 30/04/2023 17:55

notsayingmuch · 30/04/2023 16:33

Well, you have used an outdated word yourself! We were told in a staff meeting to never use mixed race but to use dual heritage. Words keep changing and unless you get told to use different words it can be hard to keep in the loop.

Half caste was unacceptable when I was at school in the 90s.

Do you really need 30 years’ notice not to use an offensive word?

ilovesooty · 30/04/2023 17:55

JudgeJ · 30/04/2023 17:49

That's the problem the 'acceptable' words seem to change regularly and people find themselves using the 'wrong' word totally innocently.

Show quote history

What a depressing point of view - and you're not the only poster who's made similar comments. It's not too difficult to understand that some terminology fell out of use years and years ago. Even when my mother was in her 80s she would ask about changing language if she was unsure.

ThankYouMama · 30/04/2023 17:55

BunnyFun · 30/04/2023 17:53

Does that mean that SEN (Special educational needs) is inappropriate)?

You're going completely or subject now SEN & HC do not link in any way, shape or form!

mainsfed · 30/04/2023 17:56

Moveoverdarlin · 30/04/2023 17:51

I didn’t think it was appropriate to say mixed raced either? I think many people are genuinely shit scared to speak for fear of being labelled racist or saying the wrong thing.

Funny how they still manage to speak and cause offence then.

TimeForThunder · 30/04/2023 17:56

For goodness sake, OP, you've said yourself that you don't believe she was being intentionally offensive so you've really answered your own question re whether some people really don't know that it's offensive - on your own telling, that is clearly true. And you still haven't told the relevant people so presumably they still don't!

By the same token you think you don't know anyone who finds "mixed race" offensive - maybe they've simply failed to enlighten you, as you have others, and created a thread about you in the Internet instead!

I have every sympathy with you finding "half caste" an offensive term now you know its origins, but I really can't for the life of me see what good you're doing for your children or anyone else by refusing to jist say, "hey, did you know that comes from 'X'? I know, I had no idea myself until I read about it! Isn't it crazy? I don't use the word anymore since I was told where it comes from. Isn't it nuts how things used to be? Do you have any bank holiday plans?"

mainsfed · 30/04/2023 17:57

TimeForThunder · 30/04/2023 17:56

For goodness sake, OP, you've said yourself that you don't believe she was being intentionally offensive so you've really answered your own question re whether some people really don't know that it's offensive - on your own telling, that is clearly true. And you still haven't told the relevant people so presumably they still don't!

By the same token you think you don't know anyone who finds "mixed race" offensive - maybe they've simply failed to enlighten you, as you have others, and created a thread about you in the Internet instead!

I have every sympathy with you finding "half caste" an offensive term now you know its origins, but I really can't for the life of me see what good you're doing for your children or anyone else by refusing to jist say, "hey, did you know that comes from 'X'? I know, I had no idea myself until I read about it! Isn't it crazy? I don't use the word anymore since I was told where it comes from. Isn't it nuts how things used to be? Do you have any bank holiday plans?"

It’s not OP’s job to educate people, people should educate themselves.

Original poster
Creepycrawler · 30/04/2023 17:58

Spring2008 · 30/04/2023 17:42

Sadly people still do.
I find it offensive when people throw the "m" word about as I have a child with Down's Syndrome, and amazingly some people still use the term mentally handicapped which makes me feel physically sick.
The same when I hear the "R" word as my son can't speak.

It's about education. I also work in SN and I have educated my kids on which words they are not allowed to use and why. I've also heard the 'm' word a lot and it's not acceptable in my house or if I hear it at school.

OP posts:
x2boys · 30/04/2023 17:58

CityCommuter · 30/04/2023 17:51

Yes there are a lot of words and phrases that shouldn't be used nowadays but not everyone keeps up... someone I was chatting to recently mentioned her colleague having a child with 'special needs',... only for I was on an inclusion and diversity course last month I politely let her know that 'special needs' could cause offence / hurt now and shouldn't be used but instead the term is 'additional needs' is more inclusive and appropriate...

I don't like additional needs personally because it covers a very broad spectrum I just say my child is severely disabled which he is I wonder who.people consult when they decided language is now outdated?

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 30/04/2023 17:59

Well, I've learnt something today. It's not a phrase I'd use, as I'd use mixed race, but I didn't even realise the phrase was "half caste".

I always thought it was "half cast", and assumed that the "cast" came from the same as "over cast", when the sky has gone darker.

I think I literally thought it meant "half darker" when I was a kid, and then never really thought about it again. I suppose that's not exactly any less racist though, so that's why its not a phrase I'd use.