Mad to move?

[Iambouddicca]

AIBU to want to move?
At the moment, we ( me, DH (late 40s) and DCs 7 and 9) Have a fairly nice house (extended 1930s semi in SE suburbia. Kids have their own bedrooms. We have a garden. Our neighbours are reasonable. We have a decent GP, NHS dentist and good schools locally (primary and secondary). DH and I both have jobs we at settled in and kids have friends and activities locally. There is quite a lot for young people to do locally. We are less than an hour away from aging PIL. We have good connections to London and access to public transport and amenities. Lots of people consider this area ‘leafy’.

BUT…
DH and I do not feel ‘settled’ in this area - we don’t have any real connections to the area - neither of us are Londoners either. We met through a mutual love of water sports which are hardly accessible here and we miss space and the quiet in a more rural area.
DH finds the constant road noise a real issue and a drain on his mental health.
Wr are considering moving to the edge of a medium size town in a more rural area by the coast. There is a job going for me and DH could easily move to WFH role (which would suit him).
Both of us have lived rurally in the past before jobs took us to London in our 20s.
The town we are looking at has secondary schools and amenities, the DCs could continue their current activities.
We would be able to get a detached house with more space - a proper office for DH and a spare bedroom. A bigger garden too.
We rarely visit London, I can’t remember the last time we went to the theatre. We quite like eating out but ate happy with a nice pub.

Aibu to follow my heart to the country or stick with my head where life is practical.

If you do, then move before secondary school starts for your DC.

Sounds like where you are would be snapped up. I'd definitely do it before secondary school though.

How much is there to do for teenagers, and would you have to ferry them everywhere by car?

Yes, that’s it. We’ve been talking round it for years but now realise we must do it now or wait 10 years

@gamerchick yes houses are still selling round here so moving can happen if we want…

@Nevermind31 this is a big consideration and the reason for thinking about a town rather than remote or a village.

Sounds great do it!

Also has anyone else made a similar move? How did it work out for you?

How near is this to your parents?

I'd make the most of where you are. Redo windows or add water features to reduce noise, get out and about at weekends.

Spend time looking at different locations and decide in a year or so and go when your eldest needs a new secondary.

Wouldnt be relocating until then and putting sons through additional school moces just because you fancy a change.

We moved from London to a small city. From there we then moved to a well served village in a rural county. People are kind and friendly. Countryside is lovely.
But I have a love/hate relationship with it.
School provision has been awful but GP is fantastic.

Frankly the fact you've got an NHS dentist would make me stay!
Every month I'll have a "Right, sod this, I'm moving home "day.
It's been more than ten years since we moved but it will never really be home for me.

It’s the same distance from my family as we are now. Would make no difference in travel time either

London really does have the best amenities, you can get a dentist there, and a good GP. The hospitals are better. So are the schools. There is a lot of deprivation by the sea or in the countryside, even in larger towns. Some areas are in massive decline. Your children might regret the move more than you when they get to age 17 and realise they have less options for work and education, unless they pay massively for rent in a big city. Young people with access to a place to live in London get so many opportunities which young people from more remote places do not. E.g. the ability to do internships.

I'd move. We moved from SW London to suburban Surrey thinking that would be 'it'. We stayed for 3 years but hated every second, despite the amenities/schools/proximity to London. We then moved to a 'temporary' house in a small town with great schools, good commute, nice community...and have been happily ensconced in our 'temp' home for almost 17 years. Life is too short to be unhappy. Definitely move before secondary though.....

Do it. Doesn't sound that special where you are now

Think of summer evenings on the beach

Kids of primary age make new friends very quickly. The sooner you move the better as the older they get the less their friend making will involve you !!

I moved with a 6 and 9 year old and it was a huge wrench but we have been able to meet people through primary school. Within a couple of years we have lots of friends.