To ask how you knew you wanted kids

[CleverLilViper]

I’m 35.

for most of my life, I’ve never wanted kids. I’ve been staunchly anti-kid for so long. Now, I want them.

I don’t know what happened. I moved out on my own. Got into a relationship with a man that I love. And bam, just like that, after 30 odd years I suddenly start feeling inklings towards having kids.

it hasn’t helped or harmed my desire to have kids since the birth of my dear nephew in October and I’m smitten with him. Absolutely smitten.

now don’t get me wrong I know it’s vast difference between being the fun auntie who can give them back at the end of the day and actually being a parent but I never imagined myself feeling any kind of tug towards having kids. I know it will be damn hard.

The guy I’m with seems more interested in prioritising fun things like expensive holidays with his family and dismisses my desire for kids as a phase even though he’s always said he wants kids.

Now I’m conflicted. How did you decide to or not to have kids? Was it a conscious choice or did it just happen? If you chose to or not to have kids-did you regret it? Why?

I knew from really as far back as I can remember. Career, travel, none of those things meant anything to me. Kids were the no1 goal. So yes, I had my two young. I did go on to get the career and travel. But I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed those things if I hadn’t already fulfilled the having children part. I just wouldn’t have wanted to risk waiting and then potentially having fertility problems. I had an accidental pregnancy at 38 which was ectopic, and that was for the best at the time. But if that had been my only chance at having a child I would have been devastated. I did then have a relationship from 39-44 where no protection was used (long story) and not once did I fall pregnant. So having kids as an older mum wouldn’t have happened for me.

At 35 it’s likely your biological clock has kicked in. That’s not to say having a child would be wrong. But it’s hormone driven.