Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To invite DS' new school friends to party?

29 replies

teekay88 · 30/04/2023 07:39

Hi all. Mum to just one so no experience of what's normal in this situation, thought I'd ask for views!

My son will start school in September and he's old in the year with an early Oct birthday. This makes planning for his bday party a bit tricky. He goes to a nursery and so far bdays have been a combo of children he knows through DH and Is friends outside of nursery plus some select nursery friends he's close to plus family as lots of kids in our fam.

I'm going to book a hall this time around as my thinking is that being new to the school, it would be a good opportunity to make some new friendships if we invited his whole school class. I know he won't "know" them yet so I wondered if this would be considered a bit weird that early on? This would mean I'd have to invite ppl pretty early on when he starts so not sure how to do that, assuming the school might have a list of names?

My question is is it weird to invite kids he doesn't know yet so early on as they'll be the majority of children going? What have others done for sep/oct kids bdays in first year of school?

YANBU = invite them. Its a chance for him to make new friends!

YABU = it's a bit weird. He doesn't know them. Stick to family and nursery friends this year

OP posts:
Dragonsandcats · 30/04/2023 07:41

I think I would. It’s a nice opportunity for you to meet other parents too. You could ask the teacher how many children in his class and ask them to put invitations in book bags?

Marmite27 · 30/04/2023 07:41

Not really knowing anyone is why most people have class parties in reception.

Holly60 · 30/04/2023 07:42

I don't think it's weird at all. He will have known them for a month by then and little ones make friends quickly.

This will help all the parents get to know each other too.

I think I'd be grateful to you for organising this if I were one of the parents.

drpet49 · 30/04/2023 07:43

Personally I wouldn’t, just do a class party next year.

Namechange224422 · 30/04/2023 07:45

Yes definitely have the party for him.

You don’t need to know names at all. Print off 30 identical invitations with your name and phone number on for rsvp. Ask the teacher to pop them in book bags.

Other parents will be really pleased as it’ll be a good chance for everyone to get to know each other.

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2023 07:46

Not weird at all. We went to a couple of parties at around that stage of reception.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/04/2023 07:47

I think it would be weird if you don’t. Mine is moving into reception in October so in the same situation.
One of the points of a whole class party in reception is that getting to know kids and parents.

Secnarf · 30/04/2023 07:47

It’s not weird. That’s what the oldest child in my daughter’s class did. It was really kind of them. All the children seemed to have fun. Also, because most parents tend to hang around at that age, it was an opportunity to meet some of the parents.

Equally well, it isn’t necessary. Other children with birthdays in the autumn term didn’t.

i’d say it was an equal mix of whole class parties, inviting nobody from school or just children of the same sex that year.

Skyblue92 · 30/04/2023 07:48

My daughter will be exactly the same, starts reception in September and is an October birthday. Although she goes to the school nursery there’s no guarantee she’ll be in the same class as others. I’m just going to send the invites in towards the end of the month for the whole class. There’s one place near me that we can do a whole class party cheaper than soft play.
Send the invites in, it’ll be a nice way to get to know others

thaegumathteth · 30/04/2023 07:48

My daughters birthday is September and schools go back august here - we did a whole class party in P1 and it helped people get to know each other. Quite a few people in the class did the same.

ThatsGoingToHurt · 30/04/2023 07:48

My daughter had a December birthday and I invited the whole class. I thought it would help her make friends.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 30/04/2023 07:49

That's the whole point of whole class parties!

kezziecakes · 30/04/2023 07:49

My ds got invited to two parties via the class WhatsApp group before he started school or either of us had even met the child or parents. I would say it's normal around here to have a whole class party in reception and parties were the main way we all got to know each other that year.

Original poster
teekay88 · 30/04/2023 07:52

This seems pretty unanimous, that was my gut instinct but wanted to sense check! Thank you!

This is a bit far in advance as ill def do the whole class for his reception party but am I right in saying the etiquette for parties at school is that you always invite the whole class?

OP posts:
Xennellium · 30/04/2023 07:56

It's not weird at all, lots of reception parties are like that and a brilliant way to get to know people yourself, and for them to get to know each other better. It's a great social opportunity. The teacher will usually give you a list of names to write the invites

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2023 07:58

teekay88 · 30/04/2023 07:52

This seems pretty unanimous, that was my gut instinct but wanted to sense check! Thank you!

This is a bit far in advance as ill def do the whole class for his reception party but am I right in saying the etiquette for parties at school is that you always invite the whole class?

You don't need to always invite the whole class. Usually by the end of year 1 the whole class parties end and you just invite a smaller group of friends. Some people do this from the start.

MuggleMe · 30/04/2023 08:00

Reception you would usually invite the whole class unless it's much smaller. Or all the girls/boys (ours was double form so some did this as the children played across the classes).

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 30/04/2023 08:11

teekay88 · 30/04/2023 07:52

This seems pretty unanimous, that was my gut instinct but wanted to sense check! Thank you!

This is a bit far in advance as ill def do the whole class for his reception party but am I right in saying the etiquette for parties at school is that you always invite the whole class?

No definitely doesn't have to be whole class. There are more whole class parties in reception, but it's not always that way. As they get older parties get smaller and are usually friends/close friends only. The only etiquette rule I think is really important is not to single any one child out. My DS in year 1 wanted to invite his whole class except one child (didn't get on but the child wasn't bullying him or anything) and I said he could either do whole class or just the children he played with. He'd been left out before when it was all the boys invited except him, so he understood how that feels.

Goldbar · 30/04/2023 08:12

My DC had been to three class parties within two months of starting reception. The first was two weeks into term, with the invitations handed out in the first week!

MissHavershamReturns · 30/04/2023 08:14

Definitely do whole class party for reception

We added in some nursery friends

Normandy144 · 30/04/2023 08:25

I would ask the school office for a list of names of children in the class. Ours used to do this (just first names usually due to data protection) and then send the invites out early on. Remember to put an RSVP by date on. Whole class parties are very normal in reception/year 1.

nidgey · 30/04/2023 09:09

It's not weird, they'll have been playing and getting to know one another in school by then and this might even help the group cohesion.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 01/05/2023 09:05

DSs' infant school had signs up with all the children's birthdays so a few parents quickly got together with others and did joint whole of class parties.

We did that with a boy whose birthday was 2 days away from DS1's for the first party. Worked out well.

We also did that for a few years with DS2 as his best friend's birthday was just a week away.

BUT - we also went to a bit more effort for these parties so that the other parents didn't feel ripped off buying 2 presents for 1 party (not that anyone complained, but you never can tell!)

Once we cut back to a smaller number invites we stopped the sharing of parties.

Comedycook · 01/05/2023 09:11

I'd invite the whole class...those kids are going to be his friends now for the next seven years... nursery ones will drift away to be honest so I'd only invite kids from outside the school who are the kids of your friends and relatives.

SundaySundaySunday · 01/05/2023 09:15

As others said, we had a party invite for the end of September, which was posted in the class whatsapp group as soon as school started in Reception. Almost everyone came, and it was a nice chance for parents to get to know each other a bit. From Year 1 onwards, it was mostly smaller parties with just 1 or 2 whole class ones