Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To think people need to put the Judgypants away..

39 replies

Emprexia · 16/02/2008 23:18

... and stop projecting their issues or making assumptions about what other people think or what their lives are like or how they think they should live them?

Not wanting to start another SAHM/WAHM debate... but i've been posting on a thread where a SAHM was told to start planning to get back out to work when her kids go to school!!!

I'm seeing such a lot of that on here lately.. just because a particular way of life works for you, don't assume it'll work for everyone else.

Answer the question asked and stop being so judgemental and giving advice that was neither solicited or necessary... or any of your business in the first place!

OP posts:

Pan · 17/02/2008 00:03

YABFU expat.

scottishmummy · 17/02/2008 00:13

i have heard of firms who undertake internet searches , prior to shortlisting for posts.some candidates have posted some really stupid im-so-mad-i-can-stick-a-pastie-up-me-arse-phwoar-eject-it-as-a-donut-got-photographs-too

mummoomin · 17/02/2008 00:18

I really didnt mind people telling me to go back to work/questioning my staying at home with my children.

I wont say it didnt hurt a bit, I didnt expect people to sneer at my/dh`s choice for me to stay home with my children. It might not be real life, but it still is upsetting when people make judgements on things like this. I do feel bad for staying home sometimes, when dh works so hard OUT THE HOUSE. Im not sponging off him, we have been married a decade and have two kids, he is my husband and very grateful I stay home and take care of the kids and house. It is what he wants too.

Before we had children I worked full time and was reasonably successful. I studied hard to enter the profession I went into, and I loved working. Im really not useless.

But it IS a public forum, and I was expecting a bit of heat. I really appreciated people talking with me round the problem Im having at the moment and giving their time when I was really upset and needed to talk to people not involved.

It really helped. Thanks guys...

Trollskythinker · 17/02/2008 00:18

But do you all have the moral courage to say exactly what you think under your normal nicknames? Do you ever troll change your nickname for fear of being villified for your opinion?

mummoomin · 17/02/2008 00:20

A pub! I havent been out the house to the pub for 7 years! Get on a train...! really, people with young kids can do that! I certainly couldnt, and wouldnt expect dh to have the kids while I went off and got wrecked.....

expatinscotland · 17/02/2008 00:21

no, i don't ever change my name.

Trollskythinker · 17/02/2008 00:22

I personally welcome others' views - it helps to get a balance, and a truth that RL friends may not want to say for fear of offending you.

But I have seen some threads (especially a lot of the 'support' ones, where you daren't disagree, otherwise you would get battered to death in amongst all the (hugs)

expatinscotland · 17/02/2008 00:23

what do you expect, though?

because there are plenty of places to go where you'll be told what you want to hear or be moderated.

and that goes for everyone.

expatinscotland · 17/02/2008 00:23

exactly, trollskythinker.

expatinscotland · 17/02/2008 00:28

and if you're going to get personal and swear, well, i've been there, too.

have had plenty of posts deleted, made plenty of apologies, been in the wrong.

it's a website where people are, aside from getting swearily personal, allowed to post their opinion.

others pile in, others don't, others agree, others disagree, others change their name, etc.

it is anything but unreasonable to post against the tide of opinion or to post what you think so long as you are not getting personal.

and i have overstepped such boundaries myself and be very rightly castigated myself for it.

but if you put it out there, and you put stuff on the www, anyone with any brains or determination can find it.

it is public, and so write it in a journal, call Good Samaritans, take it down your local, etc. but think long and hard before putting it out and expecting everyone to say what you want to hear.

2GIRLS · 17/02/2008 00:28

The OP was posting on my thread where I was getting some advice on going to work. However, it wasn't what I was actually asking and I did get a bit confused as to how it had ended up there!
But, I did post so I should expect people to say what they think based on what they think the situation is and how they see it.

expatinscotland · 17/02/2008 00:31

thank you for clarifying that, 2.

bookwormmum · 17/02/2008 10:36

Scottishmummy .

davidsatthebar · 24/02/2008 07:19

There's a difference between giving an opinion and being rude.

I read a few threads in which a person living in Asia was saying how hard it was for the people living there. I then saw people being rude to the OP.......

I have spent enough time in Asia to know that what the OP said was true. The comments from other posters were unneccessary and rude.

Flip

1 2