Behaviour in public different to private?

[Bibittybobittyboop]

Could you assume that if you saw a parent behaving poorly in public, their behaviour in private would be worse? An example for poor behaviour - being really rough without provocation, extended screaming and so on. Things that make you uncomfortable to witness, and seem more than a parent having a snap.

I would worry that their behaviour was even worse in private if they behaved like that in public, especially if you say it was bad enough to make others uncomfortable.

Yes, I think so.

Yes I absolutely would. Abusive behaviour is almost always much worse behind closes doors and away from witnesses.

However, if a parent were having an unusual and bad day, the assumption could be wrong.

Yes absolutely I'd assume they would be worse in private. Barring the day from hell then I'd like to think most parents have a good measure of themselves and their kids. On a related note I've heard how some men speak to their partners (assuming wives) in public and I shudder to think how they must conduct themselves in private.

I have to say, I don't really notice parents parenting in public unless it is really, really good or really worrying, which has honestly happened once in 10 years. Today it was worrying.

A father was yelling on and off (around 15 minutes) at his little ~3 year old, shoving an empty pram around and being quite aggressive without actually touching the child. I think what was really unsettling was the fact that the child didn't cry, whinge or really even react. No noise at all. I walked up and down several times in case it was going to escalate. It didn't but also didn't really settle. The mum came over and they eventually walked off.

In this sort of situation, I do not know what to do, apart from being obvious in watching. The man was obviously not calming down, and saying something could have escalated his behaviour. I had such an awful feeling, so maybe I should have said something.

I have to be honest; I did mention a father from my school literally screaming at and threatening his child in a public place, to the safeguarding lead at school. It wouldn't have felt right not to.

@Bibittybobittyboop I think if you'd said something, it would likely have escalated towards both you and the child. Keep an eye out and see if you see them again. You might be able to pass a description on to the police as a concern for the child's welfare - sometimes they'll be able to ID them without you being at risk.

It's awful when you witness something and know you can't change things.