Absent grandparent

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My ex partners mother grandparent to my daughter hasn’t saw my daughter for over a year now. I need some advice on this as I think she is very controlling. She won’t come to my house to see her grand daughter ( I am currently living with my parents) she said on text message to her son her exact words were ‘ I’m not going to hers to see her am not doing this so you either bring the bairn to see me or I guess I won’t be seeing her. Would u take her to see her if she has clearly stated she isn’t going to make the effort back? Advice please?

No I wouldn't, she obviously doesn't think your DD is important enough.
Why can't your ex take her over when he has her?

Surely it is the responsibility of your ex to ensure his daughter has a relationship with his mother? I personally would not arrange contact, I would not want to spend time with an ex MIL.

I wouldn’t. I’d just text her saying “your loss then”

His mother, his problem. Advise her to talk to her son, then block all contact. She has no authority over you.

Why do you care? My exes family have never bothered with my kids I leave them to it. Have never met our youngest and she’s turning 6!

It’s really up to your ex, he can take her to see his mum whenever he has contact. I wouldn’t engage with his mum directly.

It’s a bit weird expecting her to come to your parents house to see the granddaughter though.
Does the father not have any time with the child? Does he take her to his mums?

So she should see her when she's with your ex, surely?

It's the ex's problem. You don't have to facilitate contact with her.

I'd do anything to see my GC, including the 6 hour round trip I'm doing today.

I agree it's odd for her to come to your parents. If it were me, I'd feel quite uncomfortable with that too. It really boils down to whether you want to encourage a relationship for your DDs sake. If not, I'd file it under not my problem, and let your ex sort it. If yes, there are surely other options. Could you meet somewhere? GP collect and take her to the park?

My ex partner has alcohol problems and lies a lot and so does his mother. I’ve her options I said I would take my daughter to her house if she just asks I would also take her to my ex’s house as me and him still get on as friends. But she’s never participated with any of it she’s always said when my daughter was new born a couple of month old that she should be able to get her and she shouldn’t have to be baby sat and why should we have to be there when sees her. I told her because she is too little and I wasn’t comfortable and she’s also lied to me a lot. I’ve always said I would like to be there if she can’t be civil with me and maintain a healthy relationship with me then why should I send my daughter to her alone. I’ve always said she can see her but with me there. I did not say she has to come to my parents all the time but when she lives 5 minutes away in a car she could pop in now and again, on Xmas/ birthdays she gets her a present or money and refuses to drop it off here she wants to drop it at her sons. I think I’ve tried to maintain a reaLtionshop with her for the sake of my daughter but I’m getting no where. She doesn’t want me in the picture.

I don't see any benefit to you or DD in contact with her tbh. She doesn't sound like the sort of person who is going to be a positive stable influence in your DDs life, and in all honesty I think you've got enough on with your role in having to navigate DDs relationship with her dad. without extra demands from his mother. Your DD clearly has strong GPs in her life already, you and they are the family that will offer her the love and security she deserves, and that's enough.

Why would you facilitate contact with someone like this?

She sounds awful. Why even bother speaking to her?

Not your problem it's his mother

However I wouldn't want to go to another grandparents house to visit a grandchild

She sounds god awful, no loss for your DD by the sounds of it.

i live with parents my daughter lives here too but fair enough