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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take from house deposit savings to pay for honeymoon

50 replies

higreen · 29/04/2023 11:30

We are renters but fortunate enough that the rent is on the cheaper side. It is fixed for 24 months but will then be raised , therefore we are at the early stages of trying to buy somewhere so we don’t continue to part with money to the landlord that we will never see again. We have a kind offer of support in getting onto the ladder , as parents want to contribute to the deposit.

We are not having a lavish wedding … just a small registry office ceremony. Simple and makes sense to us. Since we’ll be marrying at a low cost , we would both love a lovely honeymoon, we’ve been through a loss at the beginning of the year and just not had the best of times.

AIBU to dip into savings for this ?? I know lenders and solicitors will want to see proof of saving, and I guess it doesn’t look great if we have transferred £2-3k back over just for a holiday !

On the other hand , when we have got a mortgage we will have at least £400 less disposable income than we do now renting so probably would not be able to afford a holiday like this in the near future again until our earnings improve and rates come down

OP posts:
FarmGirl78 · 29/04/2023 14:35

I'd never take money from a house deposit to go on holiday.

Also the "We've had a shit year so we deserve a holiday" isn't a good frame of mind to get in. Shit years happen. Couples and wider families go through tough times. Going through life treating yourself after bad times could easily lead to a cycle of borrowing to get yourself out of a hole and sliding into debt. It's fine to want to have a pick-me-up if you're in a position to do it with masses of money in the bank, but unfortunately you're not in the position.

The worst thing you can do at your stage in life is get yourself into a "borrowing money to cheer myself up is ok" mindset. Just don't. It'll lead to ruin.

House all the way.

Original poster
higreen · 29/04/2023 14:38

FarmGirl78 · 29/04/2023 14:35

I'd never take money from a house deposit to go on holiday.

Also the "We've had a shit year so we deserve a holiday" isn't a good frame of mind to get in. Shit years happen. Couples and wider families go through tough times. Going through life treating yourself after bad times could easily lead to a cycle of borrowing to get yourself out of a hole and sliding into debt. It's fine to want to have a pick-me-up if you're in a position to do it with masses of money in the bank, but unfortunately you're not in the position.

The worst thing you can do at your stage in life is get yourself into a "borrowing money to cheer myself up is ok" mindset. Just don't. It'll lead to ruin.

House all the way.

Thank you, you make some good points

OP posts:
TinySaltLick · 29/04/2023 14:42

Do the honey moon, life is for living not for being a squirreling miser piling up coins and then dying

Didimum · 29/04/2023 14:46

I’d take the money. Life is for making memories and not ‘always’ make the sensible decision, as long as you mostly take the sensible option. I’ll never forget our honeymoon, it was (within reason) priceless.

lunar1 · 29/04/2023 14:47

I'd buy a house now, while you are in a position to. You never know if circumstances will change leaving you unable to get the deposit back together.

Merangutan · 29/04/2023 14:47

There’s no way I’d dip into something as important as a house deposit to fund a holiday.

FarmGirl78 · 29/04/2023 14:48

TinySaltLick · 29/04/2023 14:42

Do the honey moon, life is for living not for being a squirreling miser piling up coins and then dying

I don't think people are saying "Don't have a holiday", instead its "Don't have a holiday right now.".

coodawoodashooda · 29/04/2023 14:50

mintbiscuit · 29/04/2023 13:14

No way would I take any house deposit to pay for a holiday.

Me neither. When you are in your 50s you'll want the luxury you are expecting now

Bartlebum · 29/04/2023 14:51

I would take the money and make the memory, having not done this for my wedding and, not regretting it, but not having that type of holiday under my belt as then camd the kids. My husband and I have been together for a long time so have had beautiful holidays together like this. Perhaps saying that you're taking the money out of your deposit fund adds a psychological element to it. But at the end of the day this is just taking some money out of your savings.

But whether you take it and go on the trip now or don't take it and buy the house now you're making a conscious decision about your future. It could affect your house price, interest rate, the actual home you end up buying... It's funny life isn't it. You might end up buying a house now at a higher price and paying more interest that costs more than £3k in total. It's wooden dollars almost, and none of us can predict the future.

Original poster
higreen · 29/04/2023 15:03

Bartlebum · 29/04/2023 14:51

I would take the money and make the memory, having not done this for my wedding and, not regretting it, but not having that type of holiday under my belt as then camd the kids. My husband and I have been together for a long time so have had beautiful holidays together like this. Perhaps saying that you're taking the money out of your deposit fund adds a psychological element to it. But at the end of the day this is just taking some money out of your savings.

But whether you take it and go on the trip now or don't take it and buy the house now you're making a conscious decision about your future. It could affect your house price, interest rate, the actual home you end up buying... It's funny life isn't it. You might end up buying a house now at a higher price and paying more interest that costs more than £3k in total. It's wooden dollars almost, and none of us can predict the future.

Your last point is really interesting for perspective, thank you so much

OP posts:
Original poster
higreen · 29/04/2023 15:34

Thank you, lots of interesting comments so far. It would take us 4-6 months to save it back up, or we could buy somewhere that required less of a deposit. On another thread it says 100% mortgages might be returning so if we could get a deal with a lender offering that I suppose it’s a no brainer.

OP posts:
Forestdweller11 · 29/04/2023 15:42

Will parents have an opinion if you spend say £3k on a wedding and still require their input for a deposit? Although I would try to be a bigger person I'd be a bit miffed if I gave my DD say £10k for help with a deposit and they then spent £3k on a holiday.

secular39 · 29/04/2023 15:52

Ifailed · 29/04/2023 11:38

A holiday will last a week or so, your own house can last a life-time.

I was just going to say that.

Alaimo · 29/04/2023 15:54

Forestdweller11 · 29/04/2023 15:42

Will parents have an opinion if you spend say £3k on a wedding and still require their input for a deposit? Although I would try to be a bigger person I'd be a bit miffed if I gave my DD say £10k for help with a deposit and they then spent £3k on a holiday.

This is a good point.

Also, could there be a risk that if you borrow money from you deposit for the honeymoon that you inadvertently put pressure on yourselves to have the perfect honeymoon? Thinking back to my own honeymoon, it was a really nice holiday, but I can't say it felt that different to some of the other holidays I've had with DH. If you take away the 'honeymoon' label, would you borrow £2-3k from your house deposit for a holiday?

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 29/04/2023 16:00

higreen · 29/04/2023 11:30

We are renters but fortunate enough that the rent is on the cheaper side. It is fixed for 24 months but will then be raised , therefore we are at the early stages of trying to buy somewhere so we don’t continue to part with money to the landlord that we will never see again. We have a kind offer of support in getting onto the ladder , as parents want to contribute to the deposit.

We are not having a lavish wedding … just a small registry office ceremony. Simple and makes sense to us. Since we’ll be marrying at a low cost , we would both love a lovely honeymoon, we’ve been through a loss at the beginning of the year and just not had the best of times.

AIBU to dip into savings for this ?? I know lenders and solicitors will want to see proof of saving, and I guess it doesn’t look great if we have transferred £2-3k back over just for a holiday !

On the other hand , when we have got a mortgage we will have at least £400 less disposable income than we do now renting so probably would not be able to afford a holiday like this in the near future again until our earnings improve and rates come down

We took some money out of our deposit fund to go to Sicily last September which meant we could do more activities, eat out at nice places! And we managed to buy this year, it meant we delayed buying a house for a couple of months but we do not regret it as we had the best time!!

mynewusername2023 · 29/04/2023 16:02

If it would only take you a few months to pay it back, could you not put the honeymoon on a 0% interest credit card. You may get one that does rewards points as well. Then you don't risk the house buying progress. Mortgage companies won't think much of a couple of grand on a credit card.

Original poster
higreen · 29/04/2023 16:24

Forestdweller11 · 29/04/2023 15:42

Will parents have an opinion if you spend say £3k on a wedding and still require their input for a deposit? Although I would try to be a bigger person I'd be a bit miffed if I gave my DD say £10k for help with a deposit and they then spent £3k on a holiday.

No, they want us to make memories and have said there’s more to life than property ownership

OP posts:
Cantstandbullshitanymore · 29/04/2023 16:50

Jonniecomelately · 29/04/2023 12:40

Well interest rates are probably going too come down later I the year so I would probably wait anyway.

Really? You know that for a fact?

Interest rate hikes may stop or slow but rates are not coming down later this year.

CheersForThatEh · 29/04/2023 17:00

If it will take you 6 months to save £3k then there is not a chance I'd spend that on a holiday at this point in your life.

You will regret it when it comes time to update the new house or, eventually, go on maternity leave and not being able to have more than the minimum.

Personally I'd decide whether I want a destination honeymoon or luxuryhineymoon. If its luxury you want, maybe earmark £1k and do loads of stuff locally like overnight or spa days or trips or go somewhere cheap in the sun with all inclusive. Or go long haul if you can cut costs - but is it worth the money going that far if you cant go high end?

manchestermom5 · 29/04/2023 17:00

At the current UK climate you are very lucky to have the deposit to buy a home. Once you have your own home, things will change and definitely you will be able to have many honeymoons. It's a big relief to have your own home.

Original poster
higreen · 29/04/2023 18:34

manchestermom5 · 29/04/2023 17:00

At the current UK climate you are very lucky to have the deposit to buy a home. Once you have your own home, things will change and definitely you will be able to have many honeymoons. It's a big relief to have your own home.

That’s true

OP posts:
Original poster
higreen · 29/04/2023 18:44

CheersForThatEh · 29/04/2023 17:00

If it will take you 6 months to save £3k then there is not a chance I'd spend that on a holiday at this point in your life.

You will regret it when it comes time to update the new house or, eventually, go on maternity leave and not being able to have more than the minimum.

Personally I'd decide whether I want a destination honeymoon or luxuryhineymoon. If its luxury you want, maybe earmark £1k and do loads of stuff locally like overnight or spa days or trips or go somewhere cheap in the sun with all inclusive. Or go long haul if you can cut costs - but is it worth the money going that far if you cant go high end?

This is fair enough, we could possibly do a compromise like you say. We could save it in more like 4 months if we were strict but I know life can get in the way too

OP posts:
ConsuelaHammock · 29/04/2023 20:10

Buy the house first . Save up for the holiday.

junebirthdaygirl · 29/04/2023 20:32

Are you likely to get any money from relatives as a wedding present? I would spend that on a holiday.

WallaceinAnderland · 29/04/2023 20:39

Get the house first and then save for a holiday.

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