To have major homeowner anxiety

[single50]

Hi all. I'm newly single at 50 and sharing parenting time with my ex. This is the first time I have owned my own home and I'm struggling with anxiety relating to the house. Had a major leak when I moved in, and now I panic every time I see a ceiling crack, or hear a creak. I'm worse when my kids aren't with me. Has anyone else experienced this?

In practical terms OP, make sure you know where the stop cock is and how to turn the water off. Check that all appliances have turn valves on the pipes, so you can isolate a specific appliance, and make sure you have the cards for one or two local plumbers. Then, what ever happens, you'll be able to limit the damage and know who to call.

Equally with the electrics, make sure you know where the fuse board is, and the main off switch. Keep the numbers of a couple of local electricians handy.

Finally, if you have gas, locate the off lever, usually near the gas meter. If you smell gas dial 0800 111 999.

Then stop worrying because you are in control 🙂

Since getting a mortgage where I have full responsibility for upkeep and any repairs I have found it more stressful. We used to have a leasehold on a flat that we owned and anything that was related to the "fabric of the building" was the housing associations problem. Now its on me!

Your best bet is just do 6 monthly checks on the key features - seals around windows/shower, guttering being cleared etc so that you avoid likely issues. remembering insurance are likely not to cover things that could have been prevented - and premiums rise if you claim.

Sorry thats prob not helping!

Same age as you. How's your menopause been?

Asking because anxiety was never an issue for me until I hit the peri-menopause and the house was very much the "hook" for the anxious worries. Leaks, mould, damp, rot - everything and anything. Now on HRT and much more relaxed.

Yes, my anxiety about this stuff is much better than it was! It's the first home I've owned, and I own it alone, but my partner lives with me so slightly different circumstances.
I hope you feel more settled in time 😊

Yep I catastrophise too. I don't know what to suggest, other than have trustworthy plumber/electrician on speed dial and lots of towels handy for leaks.

Good point. I hadn't noticed the menopause at all until recently I noticed I havent had a period simce before Christmas. The whole breqk up was very stressful so hard to say what is anxiety, what is menopause and what is just normal stress. Have you tried CBD oil I have heard good things about it.

Agree it can be a nightmare disentangling it all. But it might be worth doing a bit of reading about symptoms or reading through some threads on the menopause board and see if anything rings a bell.

I will do, thanks!

Yes, my flat has slight damp and condensation that affects the walls if I don't really keep on top of it. I quite often had anxiety dreams that the walls were completely soaking, we're soaking if I stuck a finger in, and just collapsed all around me. (Although now I'm wondering if they were actually sex dreams disguised as home anxiety 😃)

Oh and I'm also early 50s, maybe perimenopausal, a lone parent and new to home ownership, like you OP.

My DH has this, and is also really triggered by rain. We have had a few roof issues since being in the house but all sorted each time and we have both insurance and savings. I don’t know how to help really. Victorian terrace.

We are currently in the process of moving house. Viewing houses was a bit of a nightmare as it seemed to spread to any house we viewed and thought we might buy, meaning he was anxious about multiple houses at once. I guess it’s a bit better now we’re just buying one.

I like that he’s diligent and careful. I’m much more “most houses don’t fall down” and “in books people are always dealing with full on leaks requiring saucepans and we’re not there”.

I expect somewhere in the middle is probably ideal but how to achieve it?!

Thanks. Good to hear that you have anxiety dreams too. (That looks wrong written down but hopefully you get the intended meaning :) )

Hi, I know this is a bit of an older thread, but I’m reading with interest. I might try and sign up for one of the courses at the builders trade education center. I am visually impaired, and the first time homeowner, in Greece. I am really, really struggling, with everything at the moment, and everyone keeps putting it down to Greece, but it’s being a homeowner and getting used to that that’s the toughest for me. I had spent enough time in Greece before, and being a first time home owner is a tough one for anyone, anywhere, let alone with the visual impairment in a place like Greece. I have had trouble finding trust for the tradesmen, and I need to find people who are patient enough to explain things like how do you use a screwdriver, how do you do this, how do you do that. It would be good to find someone with experience who could teach me one on one about the things I need to know to run my home.

I have already had to replace my boiler, and I have a leak in the bathroom and mold, as well as a couple of other things that my insurance doesn’t cover. I do have homeowners insurance, and earthquake insurance because I live in Greece.

I have tried to make a routine every day, and follow that so I have some kind of stability with everything else going on. I still don’t know how to decorate some of the rooms, or what furniture I want to order yet, but I’m not too worried about that just yet.