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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours and our cat

34 replies

84wood · 29/04/2023 08:14

I’d really like some perspective here.

For background - we live in a nice area and our neighbours are very elderly. We’ve been here 5 years and in that time they’ve watched us constantly. For example, they’ve tried to stop us obtaining planning permission and when we did, tried to get involved with our project. They’ve stood outside our house watching the work or discussing it with other people. I’ve distanced myself as I don’t want to get involved with people like that.

Yesterday, my elderly cat got out at later lunchtime and they took him in. They decided about 3 hours later to take the cat to the vet. There was nothing wrong with him and he’s totally traumatised. He is thin because he’s elderly but has a beautiful fur coat. He’s obviously someone’s pet.

We discovered this because when I got home my cat wasn’t there and there had been a message on the close group chat about a young cat earlier and wondered if it was him. My DH asked and yes they had got my cat in their house and decided to take him off to the vet.

I’m so upset that in effect they caught him, trapped him and made that decision. I really love this cat and he’s nearly 17 years old. Were my neighbours unreasonable?

OP posts:

Wallywobbles · 29/04/2023 08:29

Presumably it came from a good place. Go and talk to them.

DustyLee123 · 29/04/2023 08:32

Sounds like they are bored and lonely.

katkins23 · 29/04/2023 08:36

Agree they are clearly bored. It's not ok though, I'd be upset too. Poor cat. On the bright side I would presume the vet told them the cat was fine so that's one battle they won't be able to continue with you.

Maybe have a sensitive word.

Original poster

84wood · 29/04/2023 08:37

May be bored and lonely. But my poor cat is so upset and I just see it as another chance to stick their noses into other people’s business.

I know it’s small but the cat is important to me.

OP posts:

Sleepydaffodil · 29/04/2023 08:42

OP, I think you need to talk to them. We can’t tell from what you’ve said why they took the cat to the vets.
When you say “he’s obviously someone’s pet”, this insinuates they don’t know the cat belongs to you? Is that right? Your cat may have come into their home (mine has done that to my neighbours in the past), and if they’ve not known who the cat belonged to, the right thing to do is take them to the vet to check for a microchip. They may not have thought he was unwell but more not knowing where else to take him?
I understand you don’t want them involved in your business but an elderly couple passing comment on building work on their neighbouring house isn’t really them poking their noses in. It’s just of interest to them.

Nimbostratus100 · 29/04/2023 08:44

presumably he is microchipped? SO did they take him to the vet to find out where he belonged? then what happened? DId the vet say he was yours? or did the vet contact you to say where your cat was?

MelchiorsMistress · 29/04/2023 08:48

It’s unlikely that they did all that with the cat just to annoy you. Even if they were completely misguided, it will have happened out of concern for the cat.

Things like this just come with the territory of having a pet that is let out own it’s own.

xsquared · 29/04/2023 08:48

Do your neighbours know the cat is yours?

From your op alone, it sounds like you consider them overly intrusive and you clearly don't like them. The cat being taken to the vet has nothing to do with the planning permission and project.

Lockheart · 29/04/2023 08:50

Your neighbours found your cat wandering on their property, they did the right thing by taking him to the vets. If he's a house cat then they won't have known who he belongs to so and presumably haven't seen him before, so he would need a microchip check, and being thin can be a sign something is wrong.

I don't know what you think they've done wrong here to be honest.

SpaghettiSquash · 29/04/2023 08:54

I get so fed up of seeing this on our local Facebook pages. A cat is seen in the street a couple of days in a row and people feel the need to take it in, feed it and take to the vet when they probably have a perfectly good home. My friend just lost her insulin dependent diabetic cat who was being fed by several people who thought it was a stray. Your neighbours were being completely unreasonable OP.

Milksheikha · 29/04/2023 08:55

Didn't the vet contact you after scanning the microchip?

strawberryfluff · 29/04/2023 08:57

Maybe the cat looked ill?

Bk1000 · 29/04/2023 09:04

It’s hard I’m sure your neighbour thought they were doing what was best for the cat but I can understand your annoyance.

my mum had a very elderly cat get had been going downhill for a while, but the day before dcat was booked in to be euthanised he managed to get out of the house and was found by a passer by in the road outside my mums house. Instead of doing the obvious thing and knocking at the door to check if the cat came from the house it was found outside they put posts all over Facebook and took the cat to the rspca centre 40 miles away. My mum was accused of all sorts of cruelty and neglect by people on Facebook because the cat was thin and sick.

She eventually tracked the cat down to the rspca and they weren’t going to allow her to have the cat back but by some miracle she managed to get hold of her own vet (on a Sunday) who kindly spoke to the rspca and confirmed that the cat had been receiving regular medical care and that it was to be euthanised the following day. My mum then had to drive 40 miles to pick up the sick and now traumatised cat so it could enjoy the last day of its life at home. She was majorly pissed off and upset about the whole situation.

Gettingbysomehow · 29/04/2023 09:09

I'd give them a right bollocking whether they were elderly or not. I've had an elderly cat kidnapped in the same way, I was furious. She was 21 and completely deaf and had no idea what was going on.
Luckily she was microchipped or I don't think I would have seen her again.
The vet rang as the local vet knows me very well and my cat was there a lot have various treatment.

FoodCentre · 29/04/2023 09:10

I can see why you're annoyed the planning permission and the cat are two separate events.

They clearly didn't take your cat to spite you. They saw a cat, weren't sure who it belonged to and took it to a vet - you admit he looks thin so to an outsider they may have been concerned.

Even with the planning permission, they may have had reason to be concerned about what you are building. Or they may just be nosy and not like you.

It's difficult to tell but the cat issue seems like a misunderstanding

Iwantmyoldnameback · 29/04/2023 09:15

Did they not know the cat was yours? I know my neighbours pets and I'm nowhere near as intrusive as your neighbours.

Aylestone · 29/04/2023 09:16

FoodCentre · 29/04/2023 09:10

I can see why you're annoyed the planning permission and the cat are two separate events.

They clearly didn't take your cat to spite you. They saw a cat, weren't sure who it belonged to and took it to a vet - you admit he looks thin so to an outsider they may have been concerned.

Even with the planning permission, they may have had reason to be concerned about what you are building. Or they may just be nosy and not like you.

It's difficult to tell but the cat issue seems like a misunderstanding

This. The planning permission thing may be annoying, but even that is understandable if they feel it causes an eyesore or a noise nuisance while building. Being approved planning permission doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not a pain in the arse to your neighbours. And you’re acting like they’ve tried to steal your cat or something. They’ve seen an underweight animal, went out of their way to take it to a vet, and posted it in a local group trying to locate the owners, and presumably gave you the cat straight back when they found out it was yours? That’s not an act done out of spite.

saltrocking · 29/04/2023 09:21

I had a busy body neighbour who did this. Our cat had a skin condition and had been to the vet that week. He slipped out and neighbour took it upon herself to catch him and take him to the vets. Even though she knew he was ours and could of simply knocked our door to ask about him. Just got sod all better to do with her life. Vet give us a ring and we went to fetch him. Poor thing never even tried to slip out again after that. Really traumatised him as he was old and nervous.

I'd just keep doing what you're already doing and avoid them. Probably sat at home plotting their next complaint

BeeCucumber · 29/04/2023 09:32

I too would give them a bollocking. Who picks up random cats and takes them to the vets? I believe they knew it was your cat - they have been watching your house after all - and this was deliberate and spiteful.

user1471538283 · 29/04/2023 09:36

They would have known it was your cat surely? I'd tell them to leave him alone.

We had an elderly cat in our subdivision who was constantly picked up and taken to the vet because people thought he was sick or neglected. He was just very old. The owners put a sign up so people would know.

Your poor cat.

SallyWD · 29/04/2023 09:39

I think it's perfectly natural that they're interested in the planning permission. That's something that's likely to have a big impact on them while the work's being done (and maybe forever, depending on what it is). When our neighbours were in the process of getting planning permission all the neighbours were consulted by the Council to see if there were any objections. I also have friends whose planned extension was blocked by neighbours because of the impact it would have on them. This is all normal!! I find it really odd that you refused to talk to them because of it. It seems hostile to ignore your neighbours.
The cat is a different matter. I have a cat and would feel very sad if he got distressed by being trapped and taken to the vet. However, I think it all stems from the fact you refuse to communicate with them. If only you spoke to them they'd know it was your cat and everything was fine! My neighbour knows the life story of my cat. It was distressing for your cat but they obviously meant well. They weren't being malicious. They went to great inconvenience to check the cat was OK, had an owner.

Original poster

84wood · 29/04/2023 09:46

Thanks all for your comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to write. It’s difficult one because I do believe they are busy bodies. I can’t say they are spiteful but perhaps they are. I just want them to leave us alone. My poor cat is still under the sofa but has enjoyed tuna and water being passed to him! Thanks again.

OP posts:

Inthesamesinkingboat · 29/04/2023 09:52

So they saw a strange cat that went into their house, put a message out on the group chat, didn’t get anyone come forward in three hours so decided at that point to take it to the vet?

doesn’t seem so unreasonable to me? The problem was you missed the group chat, if it was hanging around in their house it is reasonable to assume it was lost.

I’m guessing they didn’t know it was yours and it’s usually in your house by the way they sent a message out to the neighbourhood asking about it.

CurlewKate · 29/04/2023 09:59

If you've lived there for 5 years surely they know it's your cat?

SallyWD · 29/04/2023 10:07

CurlewKate · 29/04/2023 09:59

If you've lived there for 5 years surely they know it's your cat?

But OP said she refuses to talk to them. The cat is kept inside so they probably haven't seen it.

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