Mil, mental health&babysitting

[Lollyathome111]

So basically OHM has serious mental health problems (scitzophrenia being one ) she's been in and out of mental health hospitals. If you met her you probably wouldn't know , basically anything can trigger her. So fine one minute , next OH getting a phone call to say she's getting sectioned ect.
Anyways am I being unreasonable not wanting my child to go their for sleepovers / long babysits . One she's hardly seen him with being in and out hospitals so I feel it's like leaving him with a stranger .
Two , I think I would be silly to let him stay over what if she started hearing voices I don't know what their going to tell her , surely that's understandable
His dad is their too and he's stable as such but he's old - my OH always like she wouldn't do anything to him but how could be know that ? Just as soon as she gets out these hospitals I'll suggest something and OH wil say " oh my mum will have him " and I just think no way! she's been sectioned three times and that's just since he was born ( 4 month ago ) maybe more ..am I a horrible person ??or can anyone else see where i am coming from . I don't mind visiting them - or watching him while we go shopping for a hour but I couldn't leave him majority day /over night I'd be worried sick.

She's a vulnerable adult. You can't leave a child with a vulnerable adult.

Being sectioned 3 times in 4 months is a lot. I'm not sure what your logic is if you think that your baby is fine with her for you to go shopping for an hour but no longer? Either you think it's safe or you think it's not.

She's an unstable vulnerable adult. You shouldn't leave your baby with her for even an hour.

Of course you can't leave your baby in her care. It's not even a question worth pondering. It would be negligent of you to leave your child with her.

Sectioned 3 times in 4 months and you're leaving your 4 month old baby with her?

Why??

Just visit and let her get to know her grandchild. She doesn't need to babysit, no grandparents need to anyway.

I agree with PP's, there is no way you should leave your baby with MIL for ANY length of time, she is clearly unpredictable, and you and your DH need to protect your child from any possibility of her harming him/her, albeit unintentionally. Your DH is kidding himself if he thinks it's safe to leave the LO with her I'm afraid, so you need to tell him it's a firm NO!

Not even for 2 mins without supervision
schizophrenia can lead to control of one’s actions

Nope. You'd be taking a huge unnecessary risk. You've got an OH problem. If he can't see the danger it doesn't bode well.

I'm actually surprised and quite worried that you needed to ask to be honest.
There should be no unsupervised contact EVER.
Even if you go shopping for an hour, what if the voices tell her to push the pram into the road? It would take a lot less than an hour for a tragedy to occur.

Mil shouldn’t be having your baby ever. You’re both being incredibly irresponsible in endangering your tiny baby.

You can’t leave a child in the care of someone with uncontrolled schizophrenia.

And your partner is a blind idiot.

My brother has schizophrenia and I would be happy to leave my kids with him for short periods on his own. He is fantastic with them. If your FIL is also there, then even if he is old, presumably he wouldn't let your child be neglected or harmed by MIL? 4 months is rather young for sleepovers though, regardless of MIL.

When MIL is thinking clearly would she even want to have baby alone? I would be nervous in case my mental health deteriorated while baby in my care if I were her.

Dh is very unreasonable. It isn't fair on his mum and possibly not safe for the baby.

Has your brother been sectioned three times in the last four months?

I don't think your DH has fully grasped the reality of the situation. I would go gently with the conversation. As an "outsider" you can probably see it more clearly than him.

No, but he has in the past. He is very aware of his illness and would tell us if he was unwell enough to have the children. It is obvious to us if he is unwell anyway. This MIL is not on her own, she is with FIL and if she is not currently ill enough to be in hospital I don't see an issue. After all she presumably looked after the child's father despite her illness. People with schizophrenia don't always hear voices and even if they do, it is unlikely that they will push a pram in the road just because a voice tells them to. They often get very distressed if the voices tell them to do something they know is wrong and resist them. I feel in this case the OP should acknowledge that her partner has known his mother all of his life and should be a good judge of what she is able and not able to do.

Your DH sounds completely in denial about the severity of hours mothers illness. Mental health services in this country as really stretched so for get to be sectioned three times in four months she must be very unwell. Absolutely do not leave your baby with her for any length of time.

I say this as someone with a relative who suffers from schizophrenia. He's a lovely lovely man, but he's often off his meds and when he is he's just too unpredictable.

Don’t leave yr child for any length of time with her.

As pp said, vulnerable adult.