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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else feeling low?

6 replies

marriage23 · 28/04/2023 22:20

Who else is feeling low and why?

I’ll go first: I’m feeling really sad and lonely. My kids are in bed now they’re very young. Primary and nursery age. DH works away during the week so is coming back soon but not that it will make a difference as he rarely talks to me when he is here. Kids started new nurseries and schools. I try to talk to the mums which is easier in school pick up as kids finish same time whereas nursery it’s all staggered times but occasions I have seen People I’ve smiled and chatted. I feel so lonely. I also moved into a new home and people keep themselves to themselves and don’t really chat or take any interest in anyone else. I’ve really really tried to get friendly with the neighbours but it’s obvious they’re too busy so I’ve stopped now as I probably come across as desperate lol!

my daughter has been in her school since September but I find all the mums stand around chatting and I do try to get involved but it’s awkward. I have invited 2 of them for tea and they have come but it goes no where. I texted one of them today asking if she wants to do something after pick up as weather is so lovely for a change but no response.

I feel so low. It’s not fair on my kids to have such a sad mum who can’t even make friends! It does impact their social lives (at the moment as obviously mums arrange the play dates for their kids).

I see no way things will ever improve. I go to baby groups and smile at people and they are friendly but again doesn’t really go anywhere.

OP posts:
loopyloutoo · 28/04/2023 22:28

Hey OP, I hope you're ok.

It's tricky - I totally get it. Your partner is away most of the week so you're surrounded by the kids in his absence. I'm imagining you are a SAHM?

Sorry to be rude but is £ an issue? As in could you afford to get some paid childcare during the week to help you explore your own interests? I feel like having children isn't a common interest - I have no desire to meet other mums just cos we both have kids but I think it's because I'm an introvert.

How about confiding in your husband - does he know how you feel? You mention he doesn't talk to you anyway - what's going on there? Is it worth investing in this relationship - date nights etc?

Do you have any family locally?

marriage23 · 28/04/2023 22:34

@loopyloutoo thank you for replying. I work part time but the days I don’t work the youngest is with me. I can’t afford to put him in for extra days as it’s very expensive. DH job is very stressful and he has very little time for anyone. He knows how I feel but unfortunately I’m not his priority right now it’s his work. No I don’t have any family here. Nearest family member is 2 hours drive away.

OP posts:
marriage23 · 28/04/2023 22:37

@loopyloutoo sorry I forgot to add. In the past I made friends at baby clubs, especially with the eldest as I find it easier striking up conversations when you have kids with you and it’s not awkward then. I made done great friends but I think as I was younger then and had more energy with only one kid whilst now it’s multiple kids and I’m older. Plus I think since covid people are less sociable,

OP posts:
Vegandiva · 28/04/2023 22:41

i have heard some people say they made friends using the app bumble? it has a friends mode.
or maybe try going to meet-ups or other activities with people who share your interests?
big e-hug for you in the meantime, it can be a lonely world out there 🤗

loopyloutoo · 28/04/2023 22:47

Yes or the app Peanut - I did have a look but I haven't used it yet!

Sending hugs also - you're not alone - I often feel like this. I notice I keep myself busy by walking around shops or driving the two hours to my parents house when my husband is working just to pass a few days - I know it's easier for me because I'm on ML.

marriage23 · 28/04/2023 22:53

i think I posted about this earlier in the week - I introduced myself on the street Facebook page and not one welcome or hello!

it’s really upsetting how cold and distant people can be. Just a simple hello would be enough to have a nicer society.

OP posts:
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