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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you kept in touch with your child's nanny?

14 replies

SunsetsInVenice · 28/04/2023 22:19

Or nursery workers?
Things ended badly with our last nanny. She was with us for about a year doing wraparound care for us. The kids were not happy about it as time went on and were unhappy which then made the nanny feel she had to leave. They were really upset when she went and sometimes it does feel weird still not seeing her. It was a complete break with no goodbyes.
We still however keep in touch with a casual babysitter but not nursery workers.

OP posts:

murasaki · 28/04/2023 22:24

My mum kept on touch with my nanny until her death, mum was contacted by the council when she died as one of the few contacts she had listed. Whenever I was back in my home town, I used to see her, well into my twenties. She was a lovely lady from Dundee, who was post 60 when she took on me, and retired when my parents had the third kid, as she felt it was too much, but would still do the odd baby sitting bit for us all. I loved her, and so did my parents.

DelilahBucket · 28/04/2023 22:27

Yes I'm still in touch with a woman who was my childminder nine years ago. It was only because we moved that DS left her care. She was fab and remains a good friend.

Rookie93 · 28/04/2023 23:00

One of my sisters was an au pair for two years, the family kept in touch with her on and off for over 20 years and she went to visit with her own children. There was obviously a strong bond formed so I'd say it wasn't U at all to stay in touch.

FreeButtonBee · 28/04/2023 23:04

I’m still in touch with both my old nannies. First one hit or Miss but all v nice when we do see them. Last one we went to her wedding and still see her every 6 weeks.

Frolie · 28/04/2023 23:43

I’m still in touch my childhood Nanny, she’s in her late 70s now and sends me birthday cards. My parents are still good friends with her too. It’s a special relationship for all.

Simianwalk · 28/04/2023 23:46

My mum was in touch with her mother's nanny's child for 40 years until the child (then an adult obviously) died

YourUserNameMustBeAtLeast3Characters · 28/04/2023 23:50

Yes. Our DC are also still best friends.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 28/04/2023 23:52

Yes. We had a wonderful part time nanny who looked after dd when she was tiny, alongside her own daughter who was a couple of years older than dd. We moved 200 miles away shortly before dd started school, around 14 years ago. We are still in touch with the nanny, talk often and have exchanged several visits over the years in both directions...dd is still very attached to her and she is very attached to dd. There is also a very strong bond between dd and her daughter, and I regard the nanny as one of my very closest friends.

DD then went to nursery in our new area for a few hours a week before starting school, just to have some social contact with other children. We are still in touch with one of the nursery workers from that period, but that was partly because we had a fairly specific interest in common.

BertieBotts · 28/04/2023 23:54

I kept in touch with our old childminder. We stopped using her because we moved away. She was very fond of DS1 and I valued that a lot. We met up with her once when we went back but because we moved a long way, it ended up difficult and stressful to try and meet everybody every time we went back so we unfortunately haven't met up since then. TBH, the kids were tiny and don't remember each other. But we stay in touch on Facebook.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 29/04/2023 00:05

I'm a nanny and keep in touch with all my previous families, albeit not very often, some more than others, and contact lessens as they get older but still get the odd card or message.

I'd be heartbroken if I couldn't see the kids again, it's more than a job for me I truly love the kids I look after.

NurseryNurse10 · 29/04/2023 12:00

None of my families have.
Even though I was with some of them for years and was told I was like family. But obviously not.
A lot of people just throw that word around I find.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 29/04/2023 13:11

NurseryNurse10 · 29/04/2023 12:00

None of my families have.
Even though I was with some of them for years and was told I was like family. But obviously not.
A lot of people just throw that word around I find.

Did you keep in touch? With my most recent family I left I don't wait to hear from them. I sometimes send pictures that come up in my memories and ask to visit if I've got some free time.

SausageinaBun · 29/04/2023 13:43

I'm facebook friends with DD1's first nursery key worker and a few other nursery staff.

My parents are still in touch with various nannies and au pairs from my childhood. Just not the one who told me that my mum didn't love me because I was fat - I think they didn't contact her again once she left.

NurseryNurse10 · 29/04/2023 18:58

One ended on bad terms and I had to leave abruptly for my own sanity and self respect but it broke my heart because I didn't get to say goodbye to the kids. With the others, I just don't think they would have wanted me contacting them. I think once my role was over, my place in their lives was not needed or relevant in their eyes.
Nice to see so many have stayed in touch with former carers however. Hopefully one day I will have be able to say the same. It's such a special bond.

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