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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unprofessional?

38 replies

Greenpasture · 28/04/2023 19:31

I attended a job interview on Thursday morning, and as I left, the interviewer said she would: "definitely be deciding this afternoon, so I will be phoning you by the end of the day."

I didn't hear anything that day, or today.

I'm really put off this company now, AIBU to think it's quite unprofessional to not follow up on what you say you're going to do?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 28/04/2023 19:36

Things happen, priorities change. Seems a bit dramatic to start going off working for the company because of a relatively short delay.

I understand it's hard when you're just waiting for a yes or no so you can move on with your plans, but would this really cause you to refuse the role if they offered it? Unlikely.

Anon1368 · 28/04/2023 19:36

Something probably came up. I wouldn't hold it against them. Have you definitely not had my missed calls?

cruisebaba1 · 28/04/2023 19:37

That’s extremely bad form . But perhaps if this is how they run the business , you wouldn’t enjoy working there? .x

TeenDivided · 28/04/2023 19:38

It gives you a perfect 'in' to contact them, say you haven't heard as promised, but you are very keen.

blueshoes · 28/04/2023 19:41

Is she going to be your line manager if you get the job? More important if she is but not so important if it is HR or recruitment.

You got to be more patient and grow a thick skin. Sometimes they are interested but you are not the first choice so they want to keep you warm. You can still get the job. Try not to think about.

Original poster
Greenpasture · 28/04/2023 20:00

LubaLuca · 28/04/2023 19:36

Things happen, priorities change. Seems a bit dramatic to start going off working for the company because of a relatively short delay.

I understand it's hard when you're just waiting for a yes or no so you can move on with your plans, but would this really cause you to refuse the role if they offered it? Unlikely.

After not hearing anything today I certainly won't be accepting if they did offer. They were my first choice, but I do have another offer on the table and being true to your word is very important to me.

OP posts:
Escapefromhell · 28/04/2023 20:01

it is usual for recruiters to contact the successful candidate first, and obtain a definite answer as to whether they accept the offer of a job. If the preferred candidate declines the offer, they contact the next preferred candidate… and so on. After that has been done they contact the unsuccessful candidates. This can take days if people don’t respond quickly.

Hold on in there, you might get an offer.

strawberryjeans · 28/04/2023 20:01

I agree, it’s unprofessional. Takes 30 seconds of your day to type an email sending apologies that you haven’t yet got round to it but will be in touch next week

Original poster
Greenpasture · 28/04/2023 20:03

cruisebaba1 · 28/04/2023 19:37

That’s extremely bad form . But perhaps if this is how they run the business , you wouldn’t enjoy working there? .x

It really is bad form I'm glad you agree!

I value myself as an employee and I think if this is how they're happy to treat potential employees, it's not a culture I want to be involved in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenpasture · 28/04/2023 20:06

strawberryjeans · 28/04/2023 20:01

I agree, it’s unprofessional. Takes 30 seconds of your day to type an email sending apologies that you haven’t yet got round to it but will be in touch next week

Exactly!

Things absolutely happen and get in the way - unexpected aspects I can completely understand. But good communication is so important and it would take no time to phone or email and say 'we're still deciding'.

I would have no issue if they said they needed X amount of time - but saying "I'll be phoning you by the end of the day" and then not following up at all is unprofessional.

If I did that to a client as part of my job, I'd be rightly pulled up on it!

OP posts:
Restinggoddess · 28/04/2023 20:12

I agree this is unprofessional
Yes things ‘come up’ but they should have got a message to you - I was always aware when interviewing etc that the interviewee had been through enough with out added drama
Unless there is an amazing reason - that you accept - this is a red flag for how they treat staff

ChessieFL · 28/04/2023 20:14

They’re waiting for the first choice to give a definitive answer. They can’t give you a definite answer yet so that’s why they haven’t rung you.

Jibo · 28/04/2023 20:32

You sound a bit high-maintenance. Assume the best of people, not the worst. Follow up nicely and see what happens. For all you know the woman could have been taken ill or had an accident!

Greenfairydust · 28/04/2023 21:13

I would assume you are their second choice!

They likely offered it to someone else and are negotiating things like salary/starting date and don't want to get back to you, as you are their back up plan, until everything has been agreed and the person has confirmed they are taking the role.

I would agree that it is annoying. I would just carry on with your job search.

parietal · 28/04/2023 21:16

As an interviewer, I've learnt to lie to candidates and always say it will take a week to get a decision (even if I'm aiming for 1 day) to avoid this situation.

TheHateIsNotGood · 28/04/2023 21:17

Did they even offer you the job OP? You might be wasting your time thinking of reasons to not work for them when they might not want you anyway.

WuTangGran · 28/04/2023 21:19

I agree with you. If you say you’re going to do something, then do it.

Camablanca · 28/04/2023 21:19

parietal · 28/04/2023 21:16

As an interviewer, I've learnt to lie to candidates and always say it will take a week to get a decision (even if I'm aiming for 1 day) to avoid this situation.

This.
I wouldn't be so beholden to their 'word', but IMO it's standard to give a longer waiting period than needed. Not the other way around.
Small company? No HR?

historygeek · 28/04/2023 21:20

I withdrew from a teaching job for this reason- I was told I'd be contacted that day, by 10pm I'd been sat by my phone for 11 hours scared to go to the loo in case I missed a call. Really unprofessional and a shitty way to treat people.

blueshoes · 28/04/2023 21:21

Greenpasture · 28/04/2023 20:06

Exactly!

Things absolutely happen and get in the way - unexpected aspects I can completely understand. But good communication is so important and it would take no time to phone or email and say 'we're still deciding'.

I would have no issue if they said they needed X amount of time - but saying "I'll be phoning you by the end of the day" and then not following up at all is unprofessional.

If I did that to a client as part of my job, I'd be rightly pulled up on it!

Show quote history

I see your point but that is not what happens in practice. Decision making within an organisation rarely vests with one person. If you worked in a organisation long enough, you will realise that things often take longer for completely mundane reasons like people being away and not having time to confer or not getting back in time. The need to being others along with the decision if this is a big hire.

Sure, have your standards. I'd say you are needlessly cutting off your nose to spite your face. Just chill and you might get there in the end.

JudgeRudy · 28/04/2023 21:24

It's possible they've offered the job to the preferred candidate but that person hasn't confirmed or officially accepted yet so they're keeping their options open.
Or maybe either Sarah or John are off sick.
I'd leave things till late Tuesday afternoon and ask if they've appointed yet.

blueshoes · 28/04/2023 21:26

I was the line manager interviewing and wanted to blow off a second best candidate in favour of the first. Recruitment in my office said no, keep the second candidate warm. Recruiment know more about recruiting than I do, having done this 100s of times more than me, so I listened. Would I call the candidate to say sorry, I cannot get back to you today? No, because if the candidate cannot wait, they'd go anyway. If they asked why, I did not want to lie and would lose them. So silence until we knew the position with the first and have a chance with the second.

I have been on the receiving end on this as a candidate many times. It sucks but it is life. The organisation you join is amorphous. You cannot realistically judge the culture from a few people you come in contact with during recruitment. I mostly never had any contact with them once I joined, other than the members of my team.

blueshoes · 28/04/2023 21:28

If you applied through a recruitment agent, it is the agent's job to chase up the employer for you. Easier for a middle man to do this in a diplomatic manner. Don't feel you have to be guns blazing at this point.

CharlotteDoyle · 28/04/2023 21:30

By all means write off the opportunity if this crosses a line for you, but being a professional (which I'm sure you are) also means demonstrating patience and resilience when things don't go as planned.

Original poster
Greenpasture · 28/04/2023 21:38

Camablanca · 28/04/2023 21:19

This.
I wouldn't be so beholden to their 'word', but IMO it's standard to give a longer waiting period than needed. Not the other way around.
Small company? No HR?

Show quote history

That's a much better approach! I actually avoid asking and have a "wait and see" approach, so I'm not expecting any news by a certain time.

Yes, very small company, no HR, interviewed directly by the owner/manager.

OP posts: