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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To charge my DS more rent?

22 replies

showslope · 28/04/2023 14:09

My DS is currently paying £200 a month 'rent' to us on 20k annual salary. He is saving to move out, and though he is making the most of his 20s, he isn't splurging by any means.

He recently gained an important qualification, and could be moving into roles paying between £30-40k.
His preferred job (that he passed the first interview for) is on the higher end of the scale, but it's contracting, so no sick pay/holiday pay/low pension contributions etc. In terms of renewal, it's very stable as far as contracting goes.

AIBU to increase the rent if he starts earning more? If so, what amount would be reasonable in your opinion? We aren't struggling to make ends meet, but equally, the cost of living crisis is affecting us like most people, and my DS paying more towards the food/utilities he uses would be ideal.

My DH feels bad because he's contracting, so if we charge a fixed rent, our DS may struggle more months than others. Any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
showslope · 28/04/2023 14:10

Just to add, my DS brought up the topic himself and said he'd be happy to pay more if he lands a better paid role. I don't want to stop him from saving as he's very sensible about his future, but as I said, more money towards utilities and food would be helpful

OP posts:
Jammydodger1981 · 28/04/2023 14:12

I charge a percentage as both my dds get paid by the hour and can take more/less work. This way the more they earn, the more they pay, but if they’re off sick or don’t get given many hours (both dds only get statutory sick pay) they pay me less. Saves arguing.

QuickGuide · 28/04/2023 14:14

My DS pays the same and has done ever since he left school (5years ago).

I haven't put it up becuase as he's got older he's here less and is more likely to bring food home than to eat what I buy, usually food to share. If he didn't, yes, I'd be increasing his keep.

DisforDarkChocolate · 28/04/2023 14:17

If he's offered I increase it, maybe by £75 or £100. I'd be encouraging him to set up a regular savings plan for payday so he can cope with quiet months. It will still be massively cheaper than sharing with anyone else.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 28/04/2023 14:33

I will be charging my dc 25% of their wages when they start working. It's the same as me and my sister gave our parents when we were younger, and a lot less than it would cost them to move out.

CarryMeToIreland · 28/04/2023 15:13

Contracting whilst living at home is the ideal time to do it, build up your reputation and your skills with the safety net of no bills to pay in terms of mortgage/rent to a landlord. I would be asking for more money if you need it, why feel the pinch if you don't need to?

On that basis has he opened a LISA to make the most of the government giving you £1k for every £4k they pay into it every year? It can be used for a house purchase or a pension.

flyingant · 28/04/2023 15:41

If you're not struggling, then I'd only charge enough to cover his costs. Surely the more he can save to be able to get his own place, the better?

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 15:43

I'd charge whatever it costs for him to live there, or keep it the same and tell him he buys his own food and consumables moving forward.

DancingWithTheMoonlitKnight · 28/04/2023 15:53

I'd charge him whatever it costs you for him to live there. If his food/fuel etc usage hasn't gone up why would you charge him more?

Bringonthesunshineporfavor · 28/04/2023 15:57

No I wouldn't charge more unless he was actually costing me more. Would rather he save the money TBH .

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 15:58

I wouldn't charge him extra provided he agreed to put away x amount in savings. surely the objective here is to allow him to move out, so you are better off making an agreement that he will save more than getting him to pay you more. Or take the extra money and put it aside for him.

orange516 · 28/04/2023 16:13

showslope · 28/04/2023 14:09

My DS is currently paying £200 a month 'rent' to us on 20k annual salary. He is saving to move out, and though he is making the most of his 20s, he isn't splurging by any means.

He recently gained an important qualification, and could be moving into roles paying between £30-40k.
His preferred job (that he passed the first interview for) is on the higher end of the scale, but it's contracting, so no sick pay/holiday pay/low pension contributions etc. In terms of renewal, it's very stable as far as contracting goes.

AIBU to increase the rent if he starts earning more? If so, what amount would be reasonable in your opinion? We aren't struggling to make ends meet, but equally, the cost of living crisis is affecting us like most people, and my DS paying more towards the food/utilities he uses would be ideal.

My DH feels bad because he's contracting, so if we charge a fixed rent, our DS may struggle more months than others. Any advice?

I'm 17 and was on a salary of £8.8k. I paid £200 a month rent for my mum. I definitely think you should be charging more.

Weallgottachangesometime · 28/04/2023 16:17

Personally I think if you don’t earn a high amount/have a decent nest egg then yes I would charge him a little more a month. Nice to support your adult children but only if you are in a good financial position yourself.

If you were well off (mortgages paid off/decent monthly income/savings) then I’d say let him use the Increase to up his saving for his own home.

Equalitea · 28/04/2023 22:19

Do you need the money?

If you do, charge what you need. If you don’t then take a percentage and give it back to them in a lump sum when they need help towards a house deposit.

Noodles1234 · 30/04/2023 09:38

Maybe, but if you do put the extra into a savings account for him (unbeknown to him), so when he does want to move out you can hand him an extra little wedge which would help him.

WilsonMilson · 30/04/2023 09:44

I’m a total soft touch with my ds, so I wouldn’t increase the amount, but I’d need to see him saving and not squandering the money.
Totally depends on your circumstances though, if the cost of living rises are impacting you, then of course it’s reasonable, but if you can afford it then I’d be inclined to tell him to save the money, or have him pay you more but you save it for him to put towards a deposit on a house.

Noicant · 30/04/2023 09:47

I wouldn’t if I could afford not to. I’d be getting him to put money in a LISA or pension. Best to help them get on their own two feet as quickly as possible so they are nice and stable when they leave.

Devoutspoken · 30/04/2023 10:13

I wouldn't charge anything if I could afford it

SeasonsBleatings · 30/04/2023 10:16

I'd be charging whatever it costs extra in food and utilities to have him remain at home.

LittleOwl153 · 30/04/2023 10:36

I'd charge him a bit extra as he's offering - he clearly thinks it's 'right'.

What I would be doing though if he takes a contract job would be encouraging him to see a financial advisor about getting himself set up properly.

For example he should be putting away 15% to cover holiday days - this would give him the 5.6weeks uk requirement and 2 additional weeks. He will also need to cover his Tax/NI I assume.

He then needs a decent pension arrangement - depending on whether this time of job is likely to always be contracting or whether he'd likely move to a salaried post when he has 'responsibilities' now would be a good time to 'load' a pension. And as others have said. LISA for a house deposit...

If he's financially sensible then he'll get it sorted...

Sunshine275 · 30/04/2023 12:41

I would say charge to cover his costs, food, any extra utilities. But by no means would I want to make a profit from him.

DoggosAloud · 30/04/2023 12:49

How much does he add to food and other bills?

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