Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How normal are you ?

25 replies

pimplebum · 27/04/2023 22:03

Are you weird like me ??
I've had a tough day at my new job
And my partner jokes about my "eccentric" personality in a nice way plus I have had a lifetime of loosing jobs and scrapes where I consider myself a bit of a fuck up. I have never done drugs and after two glasses of wine all my filters are dissolved so I need to drink with old friends who love and know me so I don't create a bad impression ( in my younger days I would create v bad first impression especially if I was tad nervous or tipsy I'd talk to cover any potential awkwardness and say daft things just to be friendly) I am in a caring industry where safeguarding and professionalism is required. I love this job it is right for Me. I help vulnerable young people who have had trauma and neglect.
Today I was working really hard to keep being " normal" by this I mean I wrote " stop" on a post it note and kept it discreetly in my laptop to remind me to stop talking loosely. I had a few meetings with people in power over me and im am now exhausted from the effort of trying to create a calm professional front
I am perimenopausal and keep getting emotional . Is this just stress from all the lost jobs and pressure not to fuck this up as well , is it the fucking menopause ? Or just a mid life confidence wobble, some of my new colleagues have made me feel more weird because I've caught one rolling their eyes behind my back after I complimented the catering manager on her nice spread ( I thought I was being polite but now I'm paranoid I was patronising , I need everyone to like me to feel safe,

My question is what sort of behaviour makes you dislike a work colleague what level of weirdness do you tolerate before you complain ( I have had some back stabbing about me to management already not job ending but not making a great first impression either ) ... any suggestions ?

OP posts:
hereiamagainn · 27/04/2023 22:04

The weirder the better 😁

Kanaloa · 27/04/2023 22:05

I mean I’m very normal. Everyone else is a bit weird though.

Realistically I think you notice things far more than others. So you might go home and beat yourself up over something ‘weird’ you did or said, but I didn’t notice because I was too busy thinking about how I said flesh instead of fresh in the meeting. I don’t mean this to be patronising but do you struggle with self esteem? It can be difficult. I had some counselling years ago which really helped with my mental health and my self confidence.

Kanaloa · 27/04/2023 22:06

Also, I say this all the time like my mantra ‘if they didn’t tell me there is a problem then there is no problem.’ If I saw someone rolling their eyes I’d presume they had dry eyes or were thinking about something. If they don’t set aside the time to tell me their problem, I don’t set aside the time to worry about it.

hereiamagainn · 27/04/2023 22:09

As a slightly longer response…
Honestly, just be who you are, unashamedly.
There will always be Mean Girls who roll their eyes at people who aren't cool like they are, according to their own definition of course.

You can’t be everybody’s cup of tea, so don’t even try. That will make you the blandest, most boring of people… and then nobody will like you, and they will overlook you, which is worse.

Be you, and own it.

cakewitch · 27/04/2023 22:11

So much of this post, I recognise in myself
I reckon we'd get on just bloody great, OP. I'm about to start my 3rd new job in the last 5 years. I'm praying I come across other odd ones like me, because I can't stand much more of this!!

Annoyingwurringnoise · 27/04/2023 22:11

I talk shit incessantly. I’m very not normal. I also very don’t care.

Fairislefandango · 27/04/2023 22:16

if they didn’t tell me there is a problem then there is no problem

That is a great mantra!
Dh and my dc are quite weird Grin I've always thought I was quite normal, but actually I don't think I am really. Dh says my weirdness is just better hidden than his!

I worked v part time in recent years and didn't really have colleagues as such. Now I'm in a lovely new job, suddenly with lots of nice, interesting colleagues to talk to and I do think I probably come across as a bit over-enthusiastic and over-sharing!

DoeRayMe · 27/04/2023 22:17

No normal in this house. Both autistic.

BartsLongLostBro · 27/04/2023 22:19

Hate normal!

LubaLuca · 27/04/2023 22:21

My question is what sort of behaviour makes you dislike a work colleague what level of weirdness do you tolerate before you complain

I've this week complained about a new hire for his casual sexism and racism. That's untenable weirdness.

I would never formally complain about someone because they're a bit of an oddball or make situations a bit awkward. I've worked with a lot of people like that, they're harmless. I might find their foibles annoying sometimes e.g. I currently work with a man who relates every topic of conversation to Marvel films which I've never watched and he knows that, but it's his safety net, but that's part of working in a mixed bag of people.

LovedmyRaleighChopper · 27/04/2023 22:22

My question is what sort of behaviour makes you dislike a work colleague what level of weirdness do you tolerate before you complain ( I have had some back stabbing about me to management already not job ending but not making a great first impression either ) ... any suggestions ?

The sort of behaviour that makes me dislike colleagues is either excessive bitchyness or being a lazy arse. If they do their work to the best of their ability and are a friendly supportive team player I don’t give a damn how different or weird they might be. A sense of humour is definitely a bonus if they want me to like them, I’d sacrifice my own Grandmother for a decent joke. Oh now I think, people tend to like the work “feeder” so you can’t go wrong with taking in cake or treats once in a while. Don’t retaliate on the back stabbing or at least not until you understand the currents of the various relationships swirling around your workplace. Have fun with your new job!

TomeTome · 27/04/2023 22:30

I like everyone being who they are and if I knew you I’d want you to think about how much you like someone not how much they like you. The eye roller sounds like a spiteful butthead, I mean, would you do that to a new person?

Kanaloa · 27/04/2023 22:32

LubaLuca · 27/04/2023 22:21

My question is what sort of behaviour makes you dislike a work colleague what level of weirdness do you tolerate before you complain

I've this week complained about a new hire for his casual sexism and racism. That's untenable weirdness.

I would never formally complain about someone because they're a bit of an oddball or make situations a bit awkward. I've worked with a lot of people like that, they're harmless. I might find their foibles annoying sometimes e.g. I currently work with a man who relates every topic of conversation to Marvel films which I've never watched and he knows that, but it's his safety net, but that's part of working in a mixed bag of people.

I think I’d love that 😂

You: Yes, I’m sadly going through a divorce now.
Marvel Colleague : Aww that’s sad… but you know Bruce Banner got stuck inside the Hulk to protect his vulnerable inner self from being hurt and you don’t want that. You need to dig down inside and find your inner superhero. Bounce back from adversity and get on the dating scene like Matt Murdock. Don’t get stuck in the past like Steve Rogers, you can’t repeat the past.

Diversion · 27/04/2023 22:44

My children call me weird, my sister refers to me as her weird sister (I am her only sister). Generally a bit alternative and I wear my weird badge with pride. Quite sad that I feel less weird the older I get. Must do better!

MaMisled · 27/04/2023 22:50

I've always overshared, been dramatic, quick to anger, quick to cry , in x out of jobs and, like OP, affectionately considered eccentric. Then I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder which explained alot. Three years ago I was ill and left with a mild acquired brain injury. Now I mostly swear inappropriately, laugh inappropriately and cry inappropriately!

Crikeyalmighty · 27/04/2023 22:53

@pimplebum you sound lovely! I love a bit of eccentricity - I think I have a bit too

Original poster
pimplebum · 27/04/2023 23:00

I have had two bouts in a mental hospital when I was younger 19 and. 31 years old and never declared this on health forms at work because I'd never get this job or any others , I'm not not bi polar as I never get depressed just get bit manuc over stressed and need to be medicated for a week then I force myself to bounce back to work and pretended I had terrible asthma ( cough cough ) it's the feeling like a lying fraud waiting to be found out that that frightens me

OP posts:
Original poster
pimplebum · 27/04/2023 23:02

It's like extremes imposter syndrome sometimes other times. I am genuinely happy and relaxed

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 27/04/2023 23:04

What actually is normal?

Everyone I have ever known, including myself, has something about them that another could label not normal

Notajerk · 27/04/2023 23:05

Kanaloa · 27/04/2023 22:06

Also, I say this all the time like my mantra ‘if they didn’t tell me there is a problem then there is no problem.’ If I saw someone rolling their eyes I’d presume they had dry eyes or were thinking about something. If they don’t set aside the time to tell me their problem, I don’t set aside the time to worry about it.

I love this so much. Will subscribe to your mantra.

Anon1368 · 27/04/2023 23:18

I'd just focus on doing your job well and try and relax a bit. I feel socially anxious at work and end up babbling and oversharing. I can tell some don't know what to make of it. Others find it entertaining and like me. It's dull if everyone is quiet and too professional I think. I've found I'm better liked now I know the job well. Just hang in there and breathe if you're feeling a bit anxious.

L1ttledrummergirl · 27/04/2023 23:22

I'm unique and individual, there is nobody else on this planet like me. Define normal?

Crikeyalmighty · 27/04/2023 23:28

@pimplebum my best friend sounds exactly like you- in fact I'm now wondering if you are her!! She's slightly manic, amazingly generous and kind and fully admits to various MH episodes and is incredibly likeable --with a lot of fuck ups along the way.

neilyoungismyhero · 27/04/2023 23:29

I've always eventually (say 3 months in) been fairly well liked and have mostly found a kind of soul mate to bounce off but there often seemed to be that 1 person who didn't like me and occasionally really showed it. Now I'm older I don't take prisoners and if there's ever any snidey little remark I do mention it in a non aggressive way. Cue the back pedalling and apologies..bloody idiots. I don't think I know any normal people and I'm not even sure many exist.

yoga4meinthemorning · 28/04/2023 07:51

Sounds like when I had perimenopausal autistic burnout.

It's a thing.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page