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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I unfair to not want to change 7yo's routine

3 replies

Jessicarosex94x · 27/04/2023 18:58

First time poster but feeling very hopeless just wanting others perspectives and advice.

My son is 7 at school. He stays with me Mon-Fri then goes to his dads (my ex) Fri-Sun afternoon as he works Mon - Fri starting at 7.30am I work weekends. We've had this arrangement ever since school but now he's decided he wants to have DS an extra night on Wednesday. I've said I'm happy for the extra night (I'm not because with school and clubs I do feel like my time with him is so limited) but to try and keep the peace I said yes but can it be a Thursday or a Sunday so he's not swapping houses through the week. His response is no and that he's taking legal action as I'm unfair. I suspect the reason for wanting Wednesday is that it fits his social life.

My issue is he's very unreliable and changes things constantly and normally will forget his school bag Sunday meaning I'm constantly chasing to get her school books/uniform back when he's there. I've bought duplicates of everything and can just about handle the chaos of chasing/replacing once a week but with this extra day in the week will just mean chasing school stuff more. He gets all day every weekend with him to do fun stuff I make the best of the little time after school and clubs I have now this is leaving me with less.

Basically what I'm asking is if it goes down the legal route what's the likely outcome? Do I have any grounds to possibly say no to the extra night? or maybe yes to the extra night but not on the Wednesday? or is it possible I could have DS one weekend a month so I get the fun times to? (my works flexible) I'm at my wits ends with constant demands and changes and feel sorry for DS.

OP posts:
Weallgottachangesometime · 27/04/2023 19:03

They may well agree a night in the week, however I’m also certain they wouldn’t give you 1-2 weekends a month if you asked for it too.

It doesn’t sound like a good set up for you currently. Having no weekends with your child. Maybe it is time to retool at the agreement:

Can you suggest using a mediator? I think you have to use mediation before going to court anyway unless you are exempt due to Domestic abuse (or a few other factors).

Weallgottachangesometime · 27/04/2023 19:03

Sorry I meant I am
certain theY WOULD give you a weekend too.

Jessicarosex94x · 27/04/2023 19:09

Weallgottachangesometime · 27/04/2023 19:03

They may well agree a night in the week, however I’m also certain they wouldn’t give you 1-2 weekends a month if you asked for it too.

It doesn’t sound like a good set up for you currently. Having no weekends with your child. Maybe it is time to retool at the agreement:

Can you suggest using a mediator? I think you have to use mediation before going to court anyway unless you are exempt due to Domestic abuse (or a few other factors).

Yeah will try mediation thank you but he is very much a my way or no way person and won't budge so I don't have very high hopes we'll come to any sort of agreement there.

OP posts:
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