To support DC wanting nothing to do with absent father?

[QuestionableDanceMoves]

Quick background- exh left 6 years ago when DC were 2 and 9, abusive relationship, totally unhealthy, police called multiple times- he physically assaulted me which led to his arrest and social services saying he should not see DC.
He took me to court for access. 2 years later after lots of hearings, multiple instances of him not following court instructions etc we came to an agreement on contact.
Less than a month after our final hearing he suddenly moved an hour away to be with new gf and announced he’d no longer see the DC
Since then he has sporadically decided he wants contact- I’ve told him to apply back to court as the DC are no longer willing to see him. He hasn’t seen them since November 2019 and last spoke on the phone to them in may 2020. He doesn’t send anything for xmas but does send birthday cards- his now wife messages me asking for photos and updates on the kids which I did send but the kids have asked me to stop (they are now 9 and 16) because they don’t want him to know about their lives as he’s been gone so long.
He’s now messaging me daily asking for updates and photos despite me saying I will contact him if the kids change their minds.
I know that legally I should be encouraging the kids to have contact with him but I did that for 2 years and mopped their tears every time he didn’t show or let them down. I feel they’re now old enough to decide for themselves based off of their experiences of him plus I don’t want to damage my relationship with them by forcing them to contact him when they don’t want to.
I believe the only reason he’s messaging every day is to get at me for refusing to send photos to his wife (who the kids haven’t met) rather than out of a genuine desire for a relationship with them
AIBU to not be doing as the kids have asked or should I be going against their wishes and sending him updates/photos every day?

For the 9yo, assuming the court would be pushing for contact, perhaps you can suggest he starts up a relationship again with letters before actual contact. He won't bother so you're in the clear.

He was ordered by the court to send fortnightly letters to the kids at the end of 2017- he’s sent 3, joint letters, in all the years since
He simply isn’t prepared to put the effort in to build a relationship with them- I make sure he gets their school reports as he complains the schools don’t send them to him but won’t raise that with the school himself
In all honesty, it would make my life easier if the kids did want me to send him photos as then he wouldn’t be messaging daily asking for updates

Exactly!

Fuck him! Kids don’t need an abusive arsehole in their lives. Just don’t reply to him anymore or the new wife.

Send her a copy of the court order and his subsequent message saying he no longer wants contact

YANBU but you are giving him mixed messages. You need to tell him clearly that you’ve given their answer, you respect their decision and he needs to stop messaging and then block him. If he needs to contact you he can go through your solicitor surely. And if he wants access he can go to court and have a proper hearing (in which I imagine the court will definitely take account of the kids’ own wishes).

I agree with the kids though, if he does resume contact it will be nothing but trouble.

Keep the fucker out of their lives, he adds nothing of value. He sounds worse than my moronic father, who at least was never violent.

Block them both. What a cheek daily photos and updates!!! The kids have told you their wishes. He can take you to county if he can be bothered.

can you just block his number?