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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I in the wrong?

32 replies

Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 27/04/2023 15:25

Interviews. 2 internal candidates.

I interviewed both on the same day and fed back to my manager a very brief, one did really well and whilst the other also did well it all felt very staged/scripted and that she wouldn't be successful this time.

Unbeknownst to me this individual as an assistant has access to my managers emails. Purely for when she is on leave/sick she can monitor emails and forward on. This person saw my email and read it even though my manager was on duty.

For personal reasons I wasn't in today and my manager called to say that the candidate pulled her aside today and was sobbing over the fact that she found out the way she did and that I was incredibly blunt, rude and unprofessional in my feedback.

I am of course mortified that she saw the email, but it wasn't HER feedback and would not have presented it to her in the same way to her.

I have messaged her to convey how sorry I was and that we would sit down tomorrow and I would give her the proper feedback I intended to, but the more and more I think about it I'm really angry.

It was not her email to read yet I am being made to feel absolutely awful and that I was completely in the wrong.

Was I?

OP posts:
steff13 · 27/04/2023 15:27

No. I can't believe she isn't in trouble for reading that email.

StaySpicy · 27/04/2023 15:27

No. She had the privilege of being able to access emails for a different reason and chose to open one that presumably would have clearly been marked about the interviews.

She should have waited to hear back through official channels. This is on her for opening the email.

Erex · 27/04/2023 15:28

No, surely your manager's first question should have been "why are you accessing my emails when I'm in?". You didn't do anything wrong, the candidate did.

Chamomileteaplease · 27/04/2023 15:28

I would stop apologising and question why this person was reading someone else's emails.

Looks like you dodged a bullet there.

She shouldn't have read the emails and then shouldn't have made such a fuss about it either. She should be disciplined for reading them surely?

I assume it is very clear that she is only to read them when the manager is off??

Original poster
Stuckinthemiddle1990 · 27/04/2023 15:33

Yes, it's very clear. She would have no reason to access her emails when in.

I get on with the person really really well which makes it even harder. I'm sitting here feeling physically sick. My stomach is in absolute knots.

OP posts:
WateryDoom · 27/04/2023 15:34

I would have said calmly, "This utterly unprofessional behaviour - reading an email that wasn't intended for you and then sobbing about it - demonstrates amply why you were not considered to be suitable for the job you interviewed for".

I'd also be speaking to her manager about the fact that I expected this person to be given clear guidelines about what she does with confidential information she accesses, as she clearly has no idea of professional workplace boundaries.

Tinkerbyebye · 27/04/2023 15:36

This is down to your manager to deal with, not you

ihad people cover my emails, however when I am back from holiday they are removed. Additionally I would challenge your manager as to why she was looking at their emails when they were in, and what other confidential information has she been privy to

MrBit · 27/04/2023 15:36

Go back to your manager and point this out to them
It's a serious line that she's crossed and very unprofessional.
Looks like you were right in offering the job to the other candidate
I would be expecting an apology to you and explanation from her if I was your boss

Hugasauras · 27/04/2023 15:37

You've done nothing wrong! The feedback you gave was for your boss's eyes, not for her. If anything, she is the one who has been inappropriate by accessing emails when she wasn't meant to! Curiosity killed the cat and all that ...

growgrowinggrown · 27/04/2023 15:37

I'd probably be letting HR in on this tbh, she shouldn't have accessed the emails and certainly shouldn't have then outed herself to the manager as having done so.

Like you I'd be pissed off and would look to follow procedure on her access emails when the manager was in with HRs input.

Madness that the manager didn't set her straight about reading the emails.

Trez1510 · 27/04/2023 15:39

When were the interviews? When did you email?

Has your manager been absent since (or on) the date of the interviews/email and just returned today?

The only legitimate way the candidate could have read the email is if the manager was not around on the date of the email and/or she had been given express permission to access emails on the day she did, even although the manager was technically on duty.

Back in the day, when I was a PA, my boss would sometimes be involved in all-day events and could only communicate on breaks. He would give me permission to open his email in those instances and update him when he called on his breaks about anything that was ragingly urgent and what action, if any, I'd taken.

If this scenario doesn't apply, the candidate should be disciplined for her action.

Hankunamatata · 27/04/2023 15:40

She shouldn't have access to managers emails. If manager isn't in there should be an out of office with details of who to contact instead. I wouldn't allow anyone into my work email

Stratocumulus · 27/04/2023 15:42

WateryDoom · 27/04/2023 15:34

I would have said calmly, "This utterly unprofessional behaviour - reading an email that wasn't intended for you and then sobbing about it - demonstrates amply why you were not considered to be suitable for the job you interviewed for".

I'd also be speaking to her manager about the fact that I expected this person to be given clear guidelines about what she does with confidential information she accesses, as she clearly has no idea of professional workplace boundaries.

This!
Relaaax.
Lesdons learned on her part. If you go snooping you will often get the wrong end of the stick.

TinDogTavern · 27/04/2023 15:42

Not your fault. I have access to other inboxes on as "as needed" basis. If I saw something about me when didn't need to be looking, well that's on me.

Even if I was in the inbox for good reasons, in those circumstances it would be bloody obvious what the email was about and I'd have left it well alone so avoid any possible conflict. Her judgment is terrible and you've dodged a bullet.

Saz12 · 27/04/2023 15:44

I can understand her sneaking a look at the emails to see rhe outcome if her interview: she absolutely shouldn't have done, though. And shes being v silly to complain about what she read when it was not for her and confidential. Its not your fault!

FartSock5000 · 27/04/2023 15:44

WateryDoom · 27/04/2023 15:34

I would have said calmly, "This utterly unprofessional behaviour - reading an email that wasn't intended for you and then sobbing about it - demonstrates amply why you were not considered to be suitable for the job you interviewed for".

I'd also be speaking to her manager about the fact that I expected this person to be given clear guidelines about what she does with confidential information she accesses, as she clearly has no idea of professional workplace boundaries.

This!

Stop worrying how she feels and focus on how unprofessional she has been.

You should raise what she did with HR as well. Unacceptable and her lack of decorum by sobbing was another sign she lacks maturity and professionalism.

Makes sure there is a manager in on your meeting with her BTW or she'll be accusing you of bullying next.

TheGuv1982 · 27/04/2023 15:45

I can’t believe people still allow access to their inbox, and this is a great example why it’s a bad idea.

Have an out of office that gives alternative contacts if it is urgent. Ideally a group mailbox.

ColadhSamh · 27/04/2023 15:47

Disciplinary surely? She knowingly accessed and read the email when the manager was in the building.
Then went to the manager crying and complaining putting everyone in a very difficult position.
Very unprofessional and has clearly illustrated she cannot be trusted.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 27/04/2023 15:57

Why are you apologizing to her? You did nothing wrong. She was unprofessional and continues to be unprofessional.

I agree with a previous poster, make sure there is someone else in the meeting, your manager or someone from HR, to avoid any further accusations.

If she starts crying in the meeting, I suggest you tell her 'perhaps you would like to take a few minutes outside to collect yourself'. Don't apologize, use the meeting to go through why she wasn't the successful candidate. She did this to herself and is flailing around trying to deflect your criticism of her by accusing you of being blunt and unprofessional.

Justanothercatlady · 27/04/2023 15:59

You are not in the wrong here. Her behaviour has re-emphasised why she is not ready! Her manager needs to speak with her about professional behaviours. Being emotional at work is acceptable- being sneaky is not!

Paq · 27/04/2023 17:26

YANBU but you were a tad naive. Never write anything down like that! Even if it wasn't meant for them they could request it through a subject access request.

Only ever write the blandest of feedback on unsuccessful candidates.

TheSaturdayAfternoonnessOfIt · 27/04/2023 17:29

Did you flag the email as confidential?

Curseofthenation · 27/04/2023 17:55

I have no idea why the manager raised this with you rather than directly telling the candidate that she should not have read the email in the first place. It's just made you feel bad and on top of that, the candidate is also aware that you know now too. Any awkwardness could have died down after a few weeks if the manager had engaged their brain and been professional.

On top of all of this, it's really stupid that the candidate told the manager that she read it. Why? Surely this is going to make her a less attractive candidate for future roles? I would be embarrassed to stay in my job if I was her.

Cherrysoup · 27/04/2023 18:00

Definitely ask why she’s been accessing emails when the manager is in work. Very poor etiquette and clearly she wanted to see what you’d said. Highly unprofessional.

WimpoleHat · 27/04/2023 18:05

This person saw my email and read it even though my manager was on duty.

Focus on this. Go on the front foot and focus on this. Get very cross about it to the manager and HR. You are not the person in the wrong here. She was staggeringly unprofessional to do what she did (and staggeringly stupid to admit she’d done it by crying about it!).

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