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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why am I like this?

19 replies

Throwawaynames · 27/04/2023 13:35

I had my smear booked in today. I've been avoiding it because of previous sexual trauma and really bad experiences of internals during pregnancy ( I need to get gas and air).

I had a panic attack in the waiting room.

Went to my smear today, asked if she could use smaller speculum and she did but unfortunately she couldn't see my cervix and needed to use the bigger one and it didn't hurt but I got the overwhelming feeling of dread and nausea and started to cry telling her I can't do it.

So she let me go but I'm bloody 28 and need smears. Why can't I just pull myself together?!

I don't even know what my options are. I just feel really disappointed in myself.

OP posts:

curlywhirled · 27/04/2023 13:39

I've had similar and they prescribed diazepam to take before and it took the panic away as I was more relaxed...

Mine not caused by same reason as you though so maybe it won't be the same but worth a try?

Original poster

Throwawaynames · 27/04/2023 13:55

That's an idea.

Thank you I imagine panicking makes me tense up which in turn makes it worse.

OP posts:

lunaloveroo · 27/04/2023 14:03

My friend bought a smear test home kit. Would that be an option?

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 27/04/2023 14:04

You said it yourself - because of previous trauma. I’m sorry op! 💐

SBHon · 27/04/2023 14:06

It’s completely understandable. Speak to your GP, they can refer to you gyne to have it done there (with better equipment and more experience) or prescribe anti anxiety meds.

Sprinkles211 · 27/04/2023 18:05

I'm 36 and completely the same yet to have a smear I've had 3 children though and cried everytime I had to be touched I totally get it your already braver than I am op ❤️

Notimeforaname · 27/04/2023 18:06

I'm 36. I've never had one.. for exactly the same reasons..I know I need to

OP you did brilliantly to even get there!!! Well done

countrypunk · 27/04/2023 18:25

Everyone on this thread who hasn't been for a smear because of fear, please, please speak to your surgery about this. They can find ways to help you manage this.

I was afraid to go for my smear and waited until I was 28. They found severely abnormal cells. It was terrifying but I had treatment and it may have saved my life. That was over 10 years ago and I now wouldn't miss a single smear test because I understand just how important they are.

Please. Cervical cancer is almost entirely preventable if you go for your smear tests. I remember a woman on mumsnet not long ago who had terminal cervical cancer and died. She talked about how she hadn't been for her smear tests and urged women on these threads to go.

user1473878824 · 27/04/2023 18:27

Would ordering a home test kit be any help? They’re swabs you send off.

At the moment you have to pay for them but soon the NHS will be using those rather than calling you in for a smear according to the lovely woman who did my last one.

givemecoffeenow · 27/04/2023 18:36

Definitely do the at home test. Superdrug do them.

They are only testing for HPV virus anyway now, it’s not like the original smear tests where they would check the cells.

So a simple swab test is easier to do at home especially if you find this procedure traumatic. It’s not worth putting yourself through that stress.

IWasFunBeforeMum · 27/04/2023 18:38

I'm 39 and last one I had a tensed up, it hurt, I cried, said I couldn't it and finally she did it. It was awful. They've seen it all so don't beat yourself up but definitely persevere.

SallySunrise · 27/04/2023 18:46

Anyone reading this who's been avoiding going for a smear. Please please go, no matter how difficult it is.

A friend recently passed away from cervical cancer. She was 38.

Nobody ever thinks it'll happen to them, but bad things happen to good people every single day.

countrypunk · 27/04/2023 18:48

Couldn't agree more @SallySunrise

It's deeply distressing that so many women won't take advantage of a free health service that demonstrably prevents cancer deaths.

countrypunk · 27/04/2023 18:48

@SallySunrise And I'm so very sorry about your friend. Tragic.

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/04/2023 18:50

Because of trauma but anyone can find them invasive and they can also be very painful.

You could opt to go to a women’s / sexual heath clinic. The nurses there are much more experience and IME a lot better at this than GP nurses.

countrypunk · 27/04/2023 18:52

@Luredbyapomegranate I totally accept that. I just want the women on this thread to talk to their surgeries about their fears, so they can have smear tests in the least traumatic way possible.

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/04/2023 18:52

countrypunk · 27/04/2023 18:48

Couldn't agree more @SallySunrise

It's deeply distressing that so many women won't take advantage of a free health service that demonstrably prevents cancer deaths.

You are both right, but what is also true is that it’s distressing that so little effort is made to help women who find it excruciatingly painful or traumatic.

I wish there was more of a push to specialist clinics with nurses who do this all the time and also tables that put you in a better position.

It makes all the difference.

countrypunk · 27/04/2023 18:55

@Luredbyapomegranate Absolutely. I've had one difficult smear test that was a bit painful. It was really unpleasant. I know there are lots of women out there who always find them extremely painful or traumatic or both - more definitely needs to be done for these women.

I can't bear the thought that women are needlessly dying because of this.

Original poster

Throwawaynames · 27/04/2023 19:32

I know what everyone's saying and I agree. I hope for all women to be able to have their smear as like you say it's not worth the risk.

I really wish I could have just got on with it and done it but I physically couldn't. The nurse is talking to the GP and hopefully we can figure out some solution but if not I'll look into the home kit.

DH can always help me with that if I struggle but I'm guessing you don't need to open yourself up like you do in a smear??

OP posts:

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