AIBU to ask if you think fortnite affects a child's mood? (sorry years late to this party)

Sunonface · 2023-04-27T07:20:01+00:00

Namechanged. DS 13 has been doing games and stuff for a few years (maybe an hour or two a day at weekend, an hour in week). But we've resisted fortnite. He's now at secondary school, and it's a thing still - so we said yes. I like that it's social - five of them online chatting etc as they play. But whilst he is pretty combative anyway, is it our imagination that he's far more argumentative since he's been using it? He's a real pain the ass. He's only using it the same time as he would other games - but I feel like it's infiltrated him. Am I being too neurotic about it?

Talipesmum · 27/04/2023 08:22

It didn’t affect ours at all, or plenty of other kids we know. But I do know one family who found it really did (but other similar games did too as well) and they restricted it a lot.

SpringOn · 27/04/2023 08:22

Fortnite is, I have read, one of the most addictive games ever released.

One of the things that sucks people in is that you can’t pause it. Once you’re playing, you are in till the end (realistically, till your character is killed in the game), so it’s very hard to leave at a ‘set time’, say after an hour or two.

My DS isn’t allowed to play. He is so competitive- I know he wouldn’t be able to leave it!

Wazzawoowooz · 27/04/2023 08:29

SpringOn · 27/04/2023 08:22

Fortnite is, I have read, one of the most addictive games ever released.

One of the things that sucks people in is that you can’t pause it. Once you’re playing, you are in till the end (realistically, till your character is killed in the game), so it’s very hard to leave at a ‘set time’, say after an hour or two.

My DS isn’t allowed to play. He is so competitive- I know he wouldn’t be able to leave it!

A fortnite game generally doesn't last longer than 30 minutes. Even if you win. You can easily stop within the hour.

I know kids younger than 13 who play it without the issues described. I know adults who play it and lose their shit over it. If you have a predisposition to a certain type of behaviour it will bring that out.

Original poster

Sunonface · 27/04/2023 08:31

It's not connected to being pulled away from the game - just his general disposition.

Maybe this is being 13! AAAGH

OP posts:

Effieswig · 27/04/2023 08:36

No, I don’t think Fortnite itself is a problem.

As games go. It’s pretty tame and cartoony.

The problem is games, that encourage people to spend a certain amount of time on the game itself. Which Fortnite does. But that’s not exclusive to Fortnite. Most games do this. And to be fair to don’t even need to be on Fortnite that long over a week to get the rewards.

The problem is the rewards are seen as a bit of a status symbol amount the kids. Again, the problem isn’t exclusive to Fortnite. The longer you are online craft the more resources you can get, for example. It’s in most games.

when you add in the social aspect, you can get the FOMO effect. No one wants to leave their friends or be missing out when their friends are together. Again, this isn’t exclusive to Fortnite.

Then add in that it’s quite new and exciting

Then add in that your son is a teenager.

I allowed ds (12) to play during the lockdowns and was lucky that he loved it then and then got bored, because he had more time to play. I didn’t keep to screen time allowances too strictly anyway, but definitely was more relaxed during lockdown. But his computer is downstairs, so I can monitor him.

My brother was a huge gamer in the 90s. It really impacted his mood. We are talking mega drive/n 64 days. I saw his obsession and mood get worse the more mum and dad restricted it. It was the source of loads of drama in our house. Some kids are obsessive about this stuff and have been long before Fortnite or online gaming. Seeing what happened growing up I took a more relaxed approach and it seems to have worked. Ds might play for an hour or 2 at weekends. But always wants to have movie night or game night with me and dd if she is here (she is at Uni). He would rather take the dogs for a walk or go out to the beach.

My brother took the same approach to his kids, that mum and dad did and really restricts game time and at 13 and 11 they are terribly obsessed. Neither are allowed Fortnite. That bits obviously anecdotal. But I don’t think there is one size fits all to this problem. Sometimes restriction doesn’t help, sometimes being relaxed doesn’t. Sometimes one game might seem to set them off or non. Sometimes it’s a perfect storm of the game, socialising, newness and age.

But I don’t think there’s anything with Fortnite itself, that creates a problem.

Effieswig · 27/04/2023 08:38

SpringOn · 27/04/2023 08:22

Fortnite is, I have read, one of the most addictive games ever released.

One of the things that sucks people in is that you can’t pause it. Once you’re playing, you are in till the end (realistically, till your character is killed in the game), so it’s very hard to leave at a ‘set time’, say after an hour or two.

My DS isn’t allowed to play. He is so competitive- I know he wouldn’t be able to leave it!

That’s correct. You can’t pause it. It’s a online game.

however the rounds don’t last that long (usually 15 to 30 mins) and you can definitely time restrict it, if that’s what you choose.

Tempone · 27/04/2023 08:43

A round definitely doesn't last that long in our house.
I never see a change in my13 yo behaviour at all. I don't massively restrict him anymore but he seems to regulate himself quite well. He plays three sports, goes outside with his younger brother etc.
My 9 year old however would forever be on the tablet (not fortnite) if I let him watching YouTube. He needs someone else to regulate it as he can't yet.
I think it's personality dependent

Original poster

Sunonface · 27/04/2023 08:45

Effieswig · 27/04/2023 08:36

No, I don’t think Fortnite itself is a problem.

As games go. It’s pretty tame and cartoony.

The problem is games, that encourage people to spend a certain amount of time on the game itself. Which Fortnite does. But that’s not exclusive to Fortnite. Most games do this. And to be fair to don’t even need to be on Fortnite that long over a week to get the rewards.

The problem is the rewards are seen as a bit of a status symbol amount the kids. Again, the problem isn’t exclusive to Fortnite. The longer you are online craft the more resources you can get, for example. It’s in most games.

when you add in the social aspect, you can get the FOMO effect. No one wants to leave their friends or be missing out when their friends are together. Again, this isn’t exclusive to Fortnite.

Then add in that it’s quite new and exciting

Then add in that your son is a teenager.

I allowed ds (12) to play during the lockdowns and was lucky that he loved it then and then got bored, because he had more time to play. I didn’t keep to screen time allowances too strictly anyway, but definitely was more relaxed during lockdown. But his computer is downstairs, so I can monitor him.

My brother was a huge gamer in the 90s. It really impacted his mood. We are talking mega drive/n 64 days. I saw his obsession and mood get worse the more mum and dad restricted it. It was the source of loads of drama in our house. Some kids are obsessive about this stuff and have been long before Fortnite or online gaming. Seeing what happened growing up I took a more relaxed approach and it seems to have worked. Ds might play for an hour or 2 at weekends. But always wants to have movie night or game night with me and dd if she is here (she is at Uni). He would rather take the dogs for a walk or go out to the beach.

My brother took the same approach to his kids, that mum and dad did and really restricts game time and at 13 and 11 they are terribly obsessed. Neither are allowed Fortnite. That bits obviously anecdotal. But I don’t think there is one size fits all to this problem. Sometimes restriction doesn’t help, sometimes being relaxed doesn’t. Sometimes one game might seem to set them off or non. Sometimes it’s a perfect storm of the game, socialising, newness and age.

But I don’t think there’s anything with Fortnite itself, that creates a problem.

That's interesting. Thanks. I don't know if we're getting it right. We've taken our foot off the brake before with some boundaries for gaming - trusted him, let him self-regulate etc. He ends up doing LOADS of gaming.

I don't think we're that strict - I feel like he gets a lot of screen overall - and I totally get FOMO and wanting to be part of stuff.

But maybe it's about us and not him. I don't know.

OP posts:

Blamethecat57 · 27/04/2023 08:46

My boy is a natural rule follower.
He rages at any perceived injustice.
He couldn't handle fornite. It did make him angry and shouty.
We discussed it and agreed to uninstall. He was 12?
He is fine with lots of other similar games.
At 15 he still won't go back to it.

It totally depends on your child's personality.

Equalitea · 27/04/2023 10:17

Was only ever an issue with one of my 4 that played it.

The other 3 were perfectly fine to pick it up, put it down, not massively fussed, the other one (the second eldest) would want to spend all of his money on it, cry and tantrum over it, throw headsets and all sorts.

I think it’s perhaps a personality difference that raised the issues, not the game itself.

DuvetMeToday · 27/04/2023 10:25

Maybe when he isn't being a pain in the bum have a chat to him and say that you have noticed his behaviour is deteriorating toward you and you are hoping that it isn't connected to him playing Fortnite because you can see how much he enjoys playing it but would have to stop him playing if it was affecting his behaviour. Keep it all nice and calm. Hopefully he will modify his behaviour in response.

Yes I have teen sons, both of whom played Fortnite but younger than yours when they started, they played a variety of games, some fun and useful like building a theme park and charging guests etc and some not so useful but they loved playing. They are now 20 and 17.