How much do you spend on self care and treats every month?

[SadWildebeest]

I'm struggling a bit (a lot) after a bereavement, and know I need to really up my self care and do some nice things for myself. It's all so expensive though. I am fortunate to be in a position where I can afford to do a bit, but wondering what other people are spending nowadays?

So far, I have managed to get a good deal with a yoga studio pass for a month to somewhere really nice. And making a list of extra vitamins I need, as am low in lots of these on blood test and feeling completely washed out.

I also should get my hair done, it has not been cut for over a year and looks a bit rubbish as it's ragged at the ends and lost shape.

Not bought any clothes (apart from pants and socks and tshirts) for years, and no idea what I like anymore, but I need to go clothes shopping at some point.

What things do you do for self care and how much does it cost? Have you adjusted things to save money over the last year?

I put "self care and treats" as stuff like vitamins aren't really a treat, but fall into self care! But could be loads of stuff eg beauty, hobbies, treats, all the things that enrich your life and make you feel better physically or mentally.

I only buy clothes in the sales but I probably spend around 1k a year
Run my own microbusiness selling beauty products so an endless free supply for myself!

Hair £160 every 3 months
Get my brows topped up (microblading) £150 a year

I've always been spendy but probably less so in the past year

It’s hard at the moment, I do try to treat myself to little things but we do the food shop cheaply and have a small house etc so make up for it in other ways

I treat myself to something from Hotel Chocolat once a month, maybe you could do this if you like chocolate? Magazine subscriptions too if you like that kind of thing, that feels like a luxury

Ok..

£25 on gel nails/eyebrow wax
£50 on full leg & Hollywood wax
£15 on 2 x Casting Crème Gloss hair dye

I do get my eyebrows microbladed every 2 years at £200 per go

I also get Botox every 4 months at £200 per go

I think that's it. I class myself as low maintenance.

Good for you DH and I and I have £300 each to spend on ourselves a month. DH saves it so he has thousands in the bank, I've usually spent it before it hits my account 😬 mostly spend it on clothes and beauty type stuff, a massage and facial when I'm really treating myself! Currently saving up to go on holiday with friends, because it's just for me I'm not taking out the family pot!

Does it matter what other people spend? It’s not really relevant to your situation.
All that matters is how your finances work for your goals.

So many people on mumsnet seem to spend almost nothing. That’s not my life, I spend a few hundred a month on what I would class as ‘self care’, which ranges from new clothes, beauty products, hair colour, coffees out, lunches with friends, gym classes etc

I am not sure what your AIBU is OP.
Sorry about your bereavement. It’s hard. I found I was coping better after the first year. I haven’t got much money so don’t spend anything on myself for self care. I did find if I was up in the middle of the night feeling upsetting, it was helpful to distract myself. I had a blanket ready on the settee and would play word games on my phone. Mumsnet was helpful too for distraction and support.
I took pleasure in sitting in the churchyard and talking in my head to the parent I lost.

I class myself as low maintenance.

I'm not knocking you in the slightest, but that's not low maintenance

I probably spend around £150-200 pm so quite a lot! Hair is £120 every 5 weeks, nails £30 once a month and brows £20 once a month. Oh, and Botox every 3-4 months is £300. I spend a lot on clothes but nowadays I tend to buy less but buy more luxury items in better fabrics that I know I will wear/use more often. I love designer bags and shoes but will buy clothes from some high street shops - i tend to prefer boutiques though I generally live in LuluLemon running leggings during the week.

I don’t spend anything on exercise as I just walk/run - it gets you outdoors and it’s free!

I get my teenage DD to cut my hair as it’s just in a bob. I do hers in return! You don’t have to spend your way out of this. Loads of people don’t have any spare money.

I try and have a massage every six weeks or so, used to be once a month. I pay to be part of a weekly choir, worth every penny, I feel joyful and uplifted every time.

I tend to buy quite a few clothes, but dye my own hair and paint my own nails, so maybe £200 a month?

These are great ideas, I must look into a chocolate subscription!

And a massage would be really helpful, I have shoulder problems and have had a couple in the past that really eased it.

Thank you, these are great.

Sorry for your loss. However, I don’t think knowing how other people spend their money will help you. There’s lots of factors at play including incoming and overall outgoings which will influence their figures.

In addition these threads sometimes go downhill when people try to shame others over their spending.

Spend what you can afford, however, there’s things you can do for free such as walk more, get more fresh air, drink more water, sort out your posture etc that can all help.

Well I don't have a teen daughter as I can't have children.

I can pay someone to cut my hair the way I like though, is that ok with you?

Let me be clear. I don't think I can "spend my way out of this" grief and I find it unkind of you to suggest that is what I am doing.

But I can choose to invest a little in things that are nice, nurturing and soothing, to take care of myself a little. That is an important distinction.

Quite a lot I suppose

I have my nails done every 3 weeks and a gel pedicure every 6 weeks.

Hair every 3 months - I rotate between a cut, keratin treatment and hair extensions

I buy clothes, make up, supplements as I see fit. Just bought a new Zuvi hairdryer and some rehab your hair bits.

Overspend probably but meh. Can't see me changing

Just treat yourself to whatever you can A afford and B fancy

I'm not interested in shaming anyone about their spending.

I simply think it's interesting and so far there has been a great range of suggestions that would suit a variety of budgets.

I spend most of my spare money on my hobby, as that brings joy into my life. Its not really self care in the haircut/ facials way of things, in fact it probably makes me look a lot more bedraggled, but to me it is self care, if that makes sense.

Yes it does.

I used to have horses, and that was like that for me. Unfortunately where I live now it is impossible for me to keep a horse.

Im not big on beauty treatments - although I have my hair cut and coloured regularly by a mobile hairdresser .

One thing that makes me happy is reading so I have kindle unlimited - £7.99 per month as many of the free kindle books as I want (doesn't include all books - so not the latest 'must reads'

I've started regularly buying a bunch of flowers for the vase in my living room .

Meeting up with a friend for lunch, coffee .

Sitting outside in the garden when the weather is nice enough .

Going for a short walk every day .

Would it bring you joy to be around horses? Can you do this even if you don't keep a horse. Can you rent/ share/ book a hack in somewhere occasionally?

Apologies if it seemed I implied that you’d shame people, that wasn’t my intention at all. Your question was completely fine. I was just saying that I’d observed on other threads on spending on non-essentials, that posters innocently post their spending habits only to be attacked for spending on hair and nails when food banks exist.

In response to your original question, I estimate I spend £150 a month on hair, £20 on makeup, £70 on gym and £250 every 3 months on skincare. Rarely buy clothes.

It's totally fine to want to spend a bit and I don't know why people are getting preachy.
I spent a fair bit of my savings at uni as I coped with an awful bereavement and I have never regretted it. It was what helped me at the fine. (I also excessively exercised and buried my self in work)

Little lifts like a nice pair of socks or a pretty pen or a new nail polish - cheap but give me a boost

A wash and blow dry at the hairdresser's , even if I don't need a cut. (I go once a fortnight at the moment as I am ill)

A book subscription (I loved the feel good book club but they have sadly just closed) . Reading helped me process an awful tragedy and the aftermath

I love fancy bath oils and shower products- a lift at the beginning or end of the day.

A beautiful bunch of flowers or a fragrant scented candle.

A pretty bit of Jewelry, maybe something symbolic that can give me a reminder on a wobbly day .

It's fine to treat yourself.

(I am sensible with the majority of my money, but keep some "pocket money" each month and make no apologies about spending it )

Sorry to hear of your bereavement

My main indulgence is £56 gym membership but I only really use the pool and sauna/spa. I love it 2-3 times per week and am glad I can afford it.

Other smaller things:
I buy good lavender shower gel and soap. I massage my back with a good dollop of it in the shower before work.
most weeks I buy a slice of good home made cake from our local cafe
i am quite ‘mindful’ when I buy clothes I don’t have loads - for example if it is a good quality shirt or top I live I might be it in another colour.
perfume - love it. Various price ranges
mini bottles of wine or Prosecco - enough for a glass and prevents me from drinking too much.
high quality fruit and eat it straightaway - especially seasonal berries
buy or loan any books I like the look of.

@RelentlessForwardProgress Yes, I'm looking at maybe going riding the odd time over the summer

Which would also have the bonus of getting out of the city for the day, into the countryside.