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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To talk to my manager about survey?

18 replies

WhiteN0ise · 26/04/2023 21:48

We had to undertake a survey on our company and our manager. I scored the company 3s and some 4s and scored my manager pretty highly 4s and 5s.

We are not a big team and his scores have come back and they are pretty horrendous and so unfair in my opinion. Feedback has been requested from the manager to address such poor scores but I generally have no feedback for improvement as I think my manager is actually quite fantastic, he is hands-on when I need it and has been a sympathetic ear to me.

I am so upset by his scores, he has emailed us and you can just see how gutted he is. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want him for a second thinking I have marked him down. I am the newest member of the team so naturally it might be assumed I am one of staff that has given low feedback.

Should I approach my manager to make it clear I think he’s a fantastic manager or does this look like I’m trying to kiss ass?

hate these bloody surveys and I’m an anxious wreck and worried. Actually wonder whether people misread the scoring, mixing up the numbers because this feedback just doesn’t reflect my manager at all.

OP posts:

LubaLuca · 26/04/2023 21:53

This is for him to be an anxious wreck about, not you. You've done your bit, presumably you're not the only one who thinks he's good, and it's up to him to work out where he's going wrong with others.

Givemeahigh · 26/04/2023 21:55

If it were me, I would approach my manager seeing as he's asked for feedback and state that the survey is not reflective of my views. As a manager myself, I would appreciate someone doing that.

Heroicallyfound · 26/04/2023 21:56

Agree with @LubaLuca

He may be a great manager for you and your personality, but he might not be for others. Good managers need to have skills to figure out how to get the best out of all of their people.

As a newcomer you might not see some ingrained behaviours or traits that others have if they know him better.

Could be loads of valid reasons for the feedback. Don’t worry about it, it’s it your problem.

MrsDoylesTea · 26/04/2023 21:56

I think he'd really appreciate it. If you feel like it would help to tell him, I'd say do it.

Daffidale · 26/04/2023 21:56

I’m not sure how to vote as not sure whether you think you are unreasonable or not.

You should definitely give your manager the positive feedback you gave in your post. As a manager, I massively appreciate feedback from my team, good and bad. You don’t have to make a huge deal about the survey scores if that feels weird. But let them know that you have found him a fantastic manager and mention the specific things that work for you - being hands on and a sympathetic ear.

I would give the feedback to him directly and 1:1. I wouldn’t share it with the rest of the team. There’s some dynamic here if the others have scored him poorly and I think giving the feedback privately achieves what you want (letting you manager know you appreciate them) without accidentally dragging yourself into some strange office drama.

Aria2015 · 26/04/2023 21:58

I'd approach him and tell him your feedback (positive). I personally have a two-way relationship with my manager. She will let me know when she thinks I'm doing well and I make sure to let her know when she's being a great manager. She always tells me how much it means to her.

Merangutan · 26/04/2023 21:59

He’d appreciate it. Very few people genuinely won’t care if they get poor feedback from the staff they manage. He’s likely to be thankful for a bit of support.

nosyupnorth · 26/04/2023 22:22

Do you want your coworkers to dislike and distrust you?

It's an anonymous survey so people can give feedback without being identified, and you want to totally undermine that so you can play teachers pet and go to your manager saying you gave good really scores therefore he can know the others must have scored him very badly to get such a low average.

If you really want to say something nice in response to the feedback request then focus on the positives without going into the details of your survey response but ffs don't be the teachers pet and make a thing of kissing up that you gave good feedback unlike the others. And for all you know they have perfectly valid complains that you aren't aware of because you haven't been there as long.

Twatalert · 26/04/2023 22:22

I wouldn't discuss the survey results with him and Def not mention that it wasn't you who gave him such poor feedback. You aren't his therapist and this is a working relationship. They won't care as much about you as you care about making him feel better. Also, it's seems you are feeling bad and want to make yourself feel better about his scores - don't. It's not to do with you.

I think it would be appropriate to show appreciation where it's due, but wait for the next genuine opportunity.

You are new and haven't seen what others have. It doesn't mean the poor scores aren't justified.

Original poster

WhiteN0ise · 26/04/2023 22:23

Thanks for all of your responses, I am definitely going to reach out to my manager I think. I don’t want him feeling like shit, yes, I’ve not been in the team long but he’s been great to me, very supportive, always cheerleading for me and gives feedback.

also very family friendly which I so desperately needed, I just feel so bad for him.

OP posts:

Twatalert · 26/04/2023 22:26

Why are you trying to make yourself feel better about his scores by talking to him about it? It seems this is more about you than him. His scores still won't change and it's pretty unlikely everyone else has rated him poorly without good reason.

LostAtTheCrossRoad · 26/04/2023 22:53

It's a job not a personal relationship and he's your manager, not your best friend. If he asks you directly you could stick to your own feedback on him but do not compare it to or reference other people's. Anything else would be kissing ass, yes, and makes you look desperate. It's unattractive in a workplace.

Mangledrake · 26/04/2023 23:04

Really depends on the maths: how low are his scores? How small is the team? Is this one of those daft scoring systems where the midpoint down means zero? If there are about 10 of you or more, your scores won't have made much difference if it's a straightforward scoring system. In that case detailed positive feedback won't undermine anyone else.

If the team is a bit smaller, I would focus on broad positive feedback to him and I'd watch the company dynamic. Small team, publicised results of survey on individual performance - red flags for company more so than manager, as far as I'm concerned. Watch how they treat him and you'll learn a lot.

Doyoumind · 26/04/2023 23:09

There's something behind the low scores that needs addressing. It's not for you to dismiss other people's feedback because you don't relate to it. And it's not for you to worry for him.

KrisAkabusi · 26/04/2023 23:16

I think you're taking this far too seriously. It's not about you. Clearly others think there are issues - the idea that people don't know how to rate someone on a five point scale is nonsense!

1offnamechange · 27/04/2023 00:16

I can't imagine that people would have got confused by a 1-5 scoring system but was it made very clear in the survey that that question related to your immediate manager? Only because in my staff survey at my old job it just asked questions about 'management' and it turned out some people interpreted that as their immediate manager, some as the level above them and some as the CEO level so the results didn't make much sense.

If might also be that there was just someone unhappy with the company who voted 1 for everything. But if it's only a small team the others can't have voted him very highly - your high marks would have cancelled out 1 person's low marks so for him to get overall really low marks the rest of the team must have voted him as low/average at best.
If he's specifically asked for feedback it's fair enough for you to respond and say you gave him high marks because you appreciate x, y, and z.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/04/2023 00:22

Managers are human too, and he is probably gutted by the results. He has asked for feedback, so give it... he will really appreciate it. The OP isn't undermining her colleagues by sharing her own honest opinions. If they have examples to back up what they're saying, there is no reason why they can't provide feedback of their own.

Deathmetal · 27/04/2023 00:23

My advice is stay neutral

My first manager was fine to me, but disliked by my colleagues and subsequently had complaints. I defended her when people gossiped and said she isn’t that bad, and didn’t get involved in the bitching about her.

This manager ended up prioritising all these people over me, ie she couldn’t care less about my support; I was seen as an ego boost at the start to soothe her feelings but she treated me as a low priority afterwards. Eg my annual leave would always take weeks to be approved, my 1-1s were delayed, my promotion/contract was delayed etc causing me to lose months of my payrise. I think by being too nice, she was too comfortable around me and pushed barriers that she had to maintain with others.

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