To think my therapist was awful?

[lionessbubble]

Had my first session. I’ve been struggling an awful lot recently with my anxiety and stress, my organisation, my intrusive thoughts and my jealousy in relationships. Loads of things really which I wanted to work on unpicking.

ADHD has crossed my mind and I’m currently undergoing a referral. The therapist mentioned this in our consultation but she used it in the first session as if I’ve already been diagnosed.

A few things:

• she hasn’t really asked about my life, or what I want to achieve from therapy. No questions were asked - It all felt like cliches rather than personal. It felt like I kept directing the conversation and it was just so awkward and silent if I didn’t.
• I spoke about how upset I was about my sisters and how they have hurt me in the past which I think had led to a lot of my problems. She really only said “why did it upset you” and “that’s really sad” etc. She told me to look on the bright side as “at least I have sisters” and lots of people wish they had siblings.
• She suggested taking Agnus Castus supplements to help my anxiety.
• She kept spurting lots of cliches like “tapping” and “taking time to not allow your intrusive thoughts and just banish them”. To write positive affirmations and keep them in my purse. To try and think positive.
• I mentioned my PCOS and she spoke about how she had it and had IVF which terrified me. Spoke quite a lot about herself eg how meditation helps her, her ADHD etc.

i don’t really want to go back but is this what therapy is like??

It took me a while to find the therapist for me. Don't be turned off by this experience. It can take a few different people before you find "the one".

I have had some rubbish therapists in the past too, and it has made me feel even worse, that I've spent money and poured out some of my most personal feelings and insecurities to someone who simply isn't up to the job. It feels worse than just a waste of time and money, it's a waste of my emotions and stress too.

I am currently working with a CBT therapist who is fantastic - I really feel like I'm making progress and although sessions are hard, they feel worthwhile. I shopped around for a while and read lots of testimonials before I booked with her, and it seems to have paid off. When I was looking for a therapist to help with my DD's OCD, I asked the GP for some names and then phoned a couple and had a chat with them to get an idea of whether they would be a good fit or not. The one we decided to go with was brilliant at what she does, and made a huge difference to my DD's previously debilitating OCD after just the first session.

I really think that research is your best bet when looking for a therapist. Read testimonials, ask for recommendations and interview them as you would for any other job. Finding the right person for you and for the type of therapy you need is vital and it's clear form your post that the one you are seeing at the moment is not the one for you.

I had this with the first therapist i saw - he said loads of random/bizarre things about my mum and my work that just made no sense. He was a counsellor, so not a trained psychologist.

I went to a trained psychologist with a PhD next who was experienced in CBT - she cost more but was excellent. Cured my anxiety and panic attacks completely in 8 sessions.

If you don’t gel with a therapist, definitely don’t go back. Their qualifications and experience can vary massively