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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Giving away next to me crib

15 replies

biancap26 · 25/04/2023 23:21

Hi,

Just interested in your thoughts. Posted an ad on a marketplace website to give away for free our next to me crib. The first person who messaged asked if it was still available to which I said yes and advised they can collect if they wish tomorrow, they asked a few other questions which I have answered but I found the person to be very short and maybe a bit rude. There was no thank you or anything although they said they will take it. I have since had a few other people messaging to ask about the crib, and most seemed polite and asked about it nicely. AIBU to be annoyed at the attitude of the person who asked about it first and feel like I would rather give the crib to someone perhaps more polite in their interaction. Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable, tiredness has definitely kicked in.

OP posts:

Swellinyewing · 25/04/2023 23:22

I hate rudeness like that. I would picknthe next person.

Mangotango39 · 25/04/2023 23:25

Yep I'd go with the next - I give a lot away free and Ok I don't expect people to kiss my feet but some people don't even say hello or thanks on arrival!

ChequeredPastel · 25/04/2023 23:26

Charge £5 for it. I find if I give away something for free people and rude and often don’t turn up. If you charge a very small nominal amount people think they’ve got a good deal so they arrive on time and are polite.

LouBaloo · 25/04/2023 23:28

I don’t advertise anything as free now after refurbing our kitchen, I put the white goods, cupboards, kitchen table and chairs on marketplace as free and some of the replies were bizarre and bordering on harassment. I ended up taking the posts down and found a local charity who took the items. The greed of some people is awful.

Ilovetea42 · 25/04/2023 23:29

To be honest I'd go through a local charity because then you know someone who really needs it is getting it rather than someone who will sell it on again to make a profit. If you have any local women's refuges etc they'd probably be delighted with it.

SD1978 · 26/04/2023 03:16

Some people are just short in messages- I don't take it as an indication of their personality. Unless they've been actually inappropriate I'd still give them the item as the first person to comment.

mainsfed · 26/04/2023 07:10

It’s your cot, there is no rule that it’s first come, first served.

Your rule is first polite come, first served, and that’s fine.

MRex · 26/04/2023 07:13

Just tell them sorry it's gone now. Next time put a nominal amount on for fewer weirdos.

GoodChat · 26/04/2023 07:15

Give it to whoever you want - especially if someone seems to be very keen and very grateful. It's a big ticket item to give for free.

44PumpLane · 26/04/2023 07:17

YANBU.....I hate rudeness like this.

Even if you're desperate to get something you could send a message quickly with a more polite follow up!!

Tradescantia252 · 26/04/2023 07:19

I find the same: the impulse is give it away to the first person who responds because you just want it gone, but now I make myself wait for 24 hours and tend pick the friendliest, most polite response.
But then I worry that I am being discriminatory to all those who don't speak good English!

MRex · 26/04/2023 07:20

I would reject for any reason you like too, not just rudeness. You aren't a business, so people wanting stuff need to fit in. You'll get all manner of other strangeness too. I had one who was saying they needed to collect 9-9.30 on a Tuesday; I said no because I had a call and offered before 9 / after 10 / different day. Grumble moan, then ok next Tuesday 9-9.30. Eh? Who is only free for only one specific half an hour each week to pick up a bag of stuff for £1? I could work it for them that week, but I'm doing the favour and I can't be arsed to hang onto stuff for their restrictive schedule. So no thanks, next.

FunkyMonks · 26/04/2023 07:26

People can be strange and I hate rude people.
I found that I donated all my children's baby stuff like prams Moses baskets etc.

Skyeheather · 26/04/2023 07:35

I find Olio better for giving away free stuff because if someone doesn't show up you can report them as a no show, you can also easily rate the person who took your item so people tend to be better behaved as well (there's a lot of free food being given away on my local Olio group so people don't want to get thrown off the site and miss out).

Olio also has a pre-written "you are next in line" response so I tend to send that to any rude people. You could write in your listing "I will not hold this item for anyone and I will give it to the first person able to collect".

Give the cot to the first polite person able to collect it. As long as you don't give out your address until a collection day and time has been arranged there won't be any comeback from the rude people. Don't give out your address until someone has committed to a collection time, they are more likely to turn up.

Original poster

biancap26 · 26/04/2023 08:38

thank you, I have found all your replies useful. To clarify, we did drive around to charities as well as baby bank and they all advised they won't take it due to safety concerns due to being a baby furniture item. thanks again, will definitely be using your siggestions going forward.

OP posts:

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