This is a bit of an awkward one for me, I feel like I understand but I’m still struggling not to feel hurt. I have a DD8 from a previous relationship and have recently had a baby with my new partner. He is wonderful with DD who lives with us full time after her dad limited contact with her months ago, he still has contact but it is once a week for a few hours, DP has taken on full parental role and does more for her.
DPs family have welcomed DD into their family and were very excited when first introduced as they’d never had children in the family, there were lots of visits, treats bought, wanting her to come up to their house and to family events and were quite sad if ever I turned up without her as she’d be with her dad and his family. On her birthdays and Christmas she has been spoilt rotten by not just my in laws but extended family too. 2 years ago DPs brother had a baby and naturally, in-laws, DP and I were thrilled, I noticed a change towards my DD (less interest) but was never offended or thought anything of it as she isn’t their blood and I understood that this new baby was and that the interest would be more on the baby, DD didn’t notice anything. I had my baby recently and the ‘change’ has been overwhelming, first noticed when in-laws and DP came to visit new baby and DD ended up taking herself upstairs to her bedroom as she felt uncomfortable with how she was being ignored (all interest on the baby, pictures of the 2 grandchildren being taken and DD not asked to get in) again, I know she isn’t their blood but my god that hurt because DD loves them all so much and she didn’t ask for this. In the last month since baby has been here there has been more of this happening, MIL asked for pictures of baby to put around the house, which is fine, then asked if she could have some of me, DP and baby but never mentioned DD (all of our family pictures include DD), lots of talk infront of DD about the 2 grandchildren and how they’ll grow up together and the conversation never involves DD as if she isn’t baby’s sister. I feel like she has been forgotten and though I know she isn’t officially related I hate the fact she is sort of being ignored, especially after how much fuss they made over her at the start, until baby came along and because of how much she loves them all. I hate the thought of her feeling uncomfortable and left out.
Has anyone experienced similar and how did you manage your child’s feelings, I don’t want to approach the subject with them but more protect my daughter from feeling upset and myself because I think it is hurting me more.