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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is unprofessional?

25 replies

ScottY2020 · 25/04/2023 15:22

So I was made redundant last year&in January became a lCA at a local primary school, just to be clear I've never worked in a school environment before but do have 4 kids so I'm no stranger around kids, today as we were lining the kids up to walk out of the dinner hall I was busy facing away from the line tending to two pupils, as I again turned to face the line another LCA that was standing at the front of the line stated "the back of my line is still not listening which is actually quite sad considering Mrs ** (me) is standing right there" so AIBU to think that was unprofessional and quite condescending in front of a whole year group and other colleagues? My face went so red it was as if she was saying I'm basically crap at my job, I told my DH and he doesn't get offended easy but even he said it was out of line.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 25/04/2023 15:25

I don't think that it was aimed at you.

delilabell · 25/04/2023 15:25

It wasn't unprofessional. It was also supportive of you. It was a way of jer saying she'd got your back and the children should be behaving for you.

Prettybutdumb · 25/04/2023 15:25

I agree, it was aimed at the children.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 25/04/2023 15:26

She was complaining about the lack of respect from the kids, not your lack of control

Conkersinautumn · 25/04/2023 15:30

It's not you. The member of staff was underlining that they need to be better behavedcaround ALL staff, that you have that authority, they should pay attention. They could obviously see you were busy but children are still learning those interactions in line you wait, you are patient etc

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 25/04/2023 15:30

She was telling the kids off for not being in line. Which presumably you also did once you turned your attention back to them after you'd dealt with the two not in the line.

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 25/04/2023 15:32

I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick!

SheilaWilcox · 25/04/2023 15:32

She was saying they need to behave in front of you which is backing you up.

OneShotFinch · 25/04/2023 15:32

Yeah, I think you've misread the situation here! I think she was addressing the children and actually trying to show a united front - that telling the children that you are there is even more reason why they should be respectful and listen. Smile

Soapboxqueen · 25/04/2023 15:33

It wasn't aimed at you.

She was telling the children off and pointing out to them they were also being disrespectful of you.

Conkersinautumn · 25/04/2023 15:35

You might reflect you could have done x/ y / z differently but in school that onus on self control is always pushed back onto kids.

'Year 2, I am so surprised you need reminding to ..... especially when teacher/ child is telling us all etc etc' is heard quite regularly when I'm sat listening to readers 1:1 outside classrooms.
Teachers and TAs do use THAT tone that makes you feel guilty though 😏

Youheshetheysaid · 25/04/2023 15:46

Good heavens OP

I would say that she was directing at the children ie it is sad you are being disrespectful

you need to woman up. Fast.

Youheshetheysaid · 25/04/2023 15:47

The fact you think this actually demonstrates your lack of experience in a school environment

ActDottie · 25/04/2023 16:01

I interpreted this differently to you. More aimed at the kids not showing you respect.

LondonJax · 25/04/2023 16:31

Definitely aimed at the kids.

We say similar in our school (secondary). If a group of kids have been told to quieten down by their teacher or a member of staff (say their in the canteen or in the library) and still aren't, a member of staff will probably say something like '7X you're still not quiet. Mrs LondonJax is actually still standing here and you're still not doing as she asked you!'

In other words, 'you're being very disrespectful, I heard Mrs LondonJax tell you to quieten down. So you must have too. Now do it!'

Not aimed at my ability to control the kids, just backing me up and telling the kids the other member of staff is watching them too.

LondonJax · 25/04/2023 16:33

And the kids in our school don't stand a chance as I still managed to put 'their' instead of 'they're'. Oh well...

Kindledino · 25/04/2023 16:35

Ah I say this sort of thing all the time in school. "I'm wondering why you're all still talking when Mrs X has just asked you to be quiet? Very disappointing." It's aimed at the children, not the staff member!

ditalini · 25/04/2023 16:38

Aimed at the children and not a judgement on you. I hope you didn't give her stink eye.

Justalittlebitduckling · 25/04/2023 16:42

She was calling out the children’s poor behaviour and lack of respect, not making a dig at you.

cansu · 25/04/2023 16:44

School staff support one another by backing each other up or they should do. You should see this as working together.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 25/04/2023 16:48

Err, it wasn't aimed at you OP.

You've taken this completely the wrong way - it's aimed at the children.

ItsNotFood · 25/04/2023 16:51

I’ve worked in schools and I would say that was aimed at the kids not you. It can feel condescending though.

Floralnomad · 25/04/2023 16:54

I think you’ve totally misinterpreted what she meant , which is that the kids still talking at the back are being disrespectful of you .

Grumpypotamus · 25/04/2023 17:13

Youheshetheysaid · 25/04/2023 15:47

The fact you think this actually demonstrates your lack of experience in a school environment

This.

KarmaStar · 25/04/2023 20:43

She was not aiming at you!why on earth do you think she was?
For goodness sake.

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