To use the equity on rent and not leave any inheritance

[SLS500]

I was married for 17 years, I had a good job, but stopped working when my children were born and my ex and I agreed I would be a SAHM which I was grateful for. After the first 3 years I was desperate to go back to work. My ex was a narcissist and controlling and wouldn't let me work.

Anyway to cut a very long story short, he became more controlling, wouldn't let me see my family, abusive I was desperately unhappy, trapped as I had no funds and very conscious that my children would think this is how marriages are - although I shielded them from a lot of it. I lost my wonderful DM and received some inheritance, i wasn't planning to leave him, I didn't think i'd have the courage, but it got so bad and was effecting the children.

He had a really good job, final salary pension from his first job, regularly met his financial advisor, had money off shore, never stopped paying £500 plus a month into his pension, nothing in mine - when I asked he said it was ours!

6 years on, divorced, we share childcare 50/50 although they're older now so it's flexible. I get no child support as he insisted on 50/50. I was getting a some spousal maintenance but that's finished and I got about £40k from his massive pension. I'm an idiot, my solicitor was rubbish and he was clever.

I'm in the family home still we have an off set mortgage so during the time we were married he paid in and took out, so mortgage hasn't been paid, I now pay interests only and it's gone up from £600 to £1,400 and with bills going up and no more spousal maintenance I'm really worried.

In 3 years time when my youngest is 18 i have to sell the house and have it valued then split the equity 50/50. Currently this will give me £150k. I'm 52 years old, I could get a small mortgage, but I will probably still end up paying the same/similar amount and it won't ease my financial burden.

So, I'm thinking I will rent and that will give me more than enough to live on for the next 40 years, plus my salary until I retire. This will take the pressure and worry off my shoulders. It means I'll have more disposal income to do nice things with the children. I won't have inheritance to give them, but their dad has a £1m house, porsche and all his off shore funds so he'll look after them.

To me this sounds like the best possible option, I can't see any downside.

What do you think?

My only concern (for me) would be not having security. What happens if the LL wants to sell? You could be constantly packing up and moving. Not something I’d want to contemplate in my 60’s +
Also the money might not last as long as you think, you are already talking about doing nice things. I imagine it would be very easy to blow through a huge chunk before too long.
Do you work now?

I think you need some proper financial advice. And possibly a new solicitor. What you’ve described as your settlement doesn’t sound at all like “50/50”.

if you can afford to buy I would. Will depend a lot if location and how far £150k will go. Not because of inheritance but because renting sucks. You have no security, no home if your own, you’re at the whim of your landlord putting up your rent, deciding to sell or they want their house back. Imagine dealing with all that as a frail, single 80 year old?

Might be worth investigating shared ownership options. It’s not without its issues but it’s more secure than straight out renting and that £150k would go a lot further.

There aren't many places in the UK where £150K will pay your rent for 40 years. Assuming you stash it somewhere where it keeps pace with rent inflation, that's just over £300 a month at today's prices.

Thanks for your responses. Yeah I made a slight miscalculation, that's not going to work or last long. I got excited for a bit.

Okay perhaps the shared ownership might be an option, but I've heard you still pay rent and they can keep putting it up, I'll look into it though as it might be the best option.

My settlement was far from 50/50 but we couldn't do anything as it was all hidden.

Did you split your inheritance with your ex? Or have you got a fair amount of savings left from it?
Can you not look at buying him out now, so that your mortgage won’t be as much and will be more easy to repay as you’ll have longer?

I think the only thing is that you might want a wodge of capital if you need to go into a care home. But presumably at least one of your DC will help you.

On the estate I live on £150k would buy you a 3 bed ex council townhouse & you would have £20k left. Could you look for an ex council house?

You’re only 52. I would do more research into buying- there are plenty of areas where £150k will get you somewhere. You have £40k pension if I’ve understood correctly. I’d be working on a plan to get you to retirement age as a mortgage free owner and build up your pension a bit more. How much do you earn?

Don’t worry about inheritance- focus on your own security. Your kids will be fine and they will inherit from their father.

I am your age. If I had to start again now on my own with £150k in the pot, I would move north and buy a one or two bedroom flat with no or a small mortgage. The renting idea is terrible and I am glad you have dismissed that!

Don't rely on your children inheriting from their father as he might remarry.

I would try to buy, for security.

I wouldn't worry in the slightest about not leaving anything to your children. An inheritance for anyone is a bonus, not a right. But I to would look into buying instead of renting for your own security.

I read this post and thought - you’ve got your sums wrong, which I think you realised a bit later.

I think you need some solid, sensible financial advice to help you make a plan taking into account all the factors. It’s totally reasonable to use your money for your own needs and not leave an inheritance. Do you know anyone who works in finance or something related (mortgages or pensions, say) who might help you think things through without forking out for an expensive financial advisor?

If everything is hidden then chances are he's not paying taxes on his significant assets either. You can anonymously report him to HMRC for tax evasion and let them investigate.

Re buying a house for £150k, it depends on where you are and whether you'll relocate. There are plenty of areas in the UK where you can buy a house for that amount.

What happened to you the inheritance you got from your mum?

Get another solicitor, I don't think you got decent advice first time round.

ideas of what's available for your budget in Manchester

Put yourself on the local council house/social housing waiting list. Lots of estates are actually very pleasant, and in many parts of the country it’s not as impossible to get a property as some people say. Explain your circumstances and say you only want a 1/2 bed flat or small home. Get on the list now - you then have assured tenancy and low rent for life. People in your circumstances are precisely who social housing was aimed at.

I wouldn’t want to rent with a private landlord in to your twilight years - far too unreliable.

Otherwise, could you move? Your £150k would buy you a 2 up, 2 down house in somewhere like the outskirts of Bolton for example.

You can buy over 55's housing outright for that, worth considering - it's a lot cheaper than standard housing.

Many people don't realise how easy it is to be financially screwed by an abusive marriage, and how hard it is to cope afterwards.
I would do exactly as you described but with the addition of getting yourself on local authority housing lists for a 55+ property one day. ThT would then give you stability when you are older.

Good luck!

Regardless of what you decide, after a long marriage where you have clearly been financially abused you have had a terrible solicitor and come away from this with a very poor settlement. You should have taken this to court and let the Judge decide.
Married to a high earner and you both get 50 / 50 of the equity from the sale of the fmh? In any settlement both parties should receive sufficient to rehome themselves. Given he already has a home I cannot fathom how this split of equity was ever deemed fair? If it was by a Consent Order then the Judge would have had to have agreed it was a fair split?
I am assuming the deeds of the property have been transferred in to your name only since you are now solely responsible for the mortgage? Also assuming the bank agreed to allow you to take over the mortgage?
Having been in a similar position regarding selling the fmh, I took the decision to downsize and move areas. You could use the equity to pay rent, but eventually that money will be gone.

If I couldn’t afford to buy outright in my area with that, I’d personally buy a share ownership home, yes the rent can go up but it is index linked and the other share owned by housing association so you are protected from massive increases, also once you retire if you can’t pay it you can claim universal credit to cover it. As it’s housing association it will more than likely cover it all, plus you have security. Universal credit will unlikely ever cover ALL of private rent, plus they can increase as much as they like. No protection in rent or security. Good luck

It sounds to me like you can't afford to live where you live.
Interest only is 1400 a month? How much did the house cost?!
I just bought a house for 80k and it's bloody lovely and needs nothing doing to it.

I'd sell the house now and use the money to buy. I'm 50 and still have 15 years left on my mortgage, but it's a low monthly figure which will be paid off when I retire.

Doing this will ensure you always have a place to live (don't look at it as inheritance for your dc), even on just the state pension.

£150k won't last long and you've no idea how long you'll live. Financial security is worth everything, especially if you've no pension