For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

I have PTSD reaction to children crying/screaming. I get a fight/ flight reaction. I can't cope with children in tantrums or meltdowns in an enclosed space, so I leave or run at work, I go to the toilet! I remove myself because I know they aren't responsible for my reaction.

I would expect parents to not inflict it on my space, though, and also remove themselves. For those with other difficulties, a child's scream may feel physically painful.
One person's difficulties do not trump another, but I expect functional adults to have awareness of others.
I don't take my dog where she isn't welcome or it's inappropriate. Going back it was the same for my children.

Then leave the dog at home.

Utter rubbish.

I'm a dog owner and animal lover. Dogs and children are not the same and they do not have the same rights. To suggest they do is beyond ridiculous.

@Tribute219 typical entitled parent! Control your child or leave them at home

I can’t understand why a dog with an owner isn’t allowed to come into a cafe where there’s room for both of them, as long as the dog and it’s owner don’t sit near the boy with autism, allergies and nervous of dogs.

The autistic boy will most likely have to accommodate/navigate these situations himself as he ages and a dog allergy isn’t enough of him/his carers getting to say who’s in a cafe.

I'm shocked by this, and I have a high needs autistic daughter, I wouldn't assume my daughter comes first over customers with dog. If my daughter had problem with dogs I wouldn't go to a dog friendly cafe there are usualy plenty to choose from.

My children are very well behaved and don't go near dogs they don't know.
They are also human beings, part of society and therefore have rights that trump those of an animal.

I have to say, this is the most appalling behaviour you displayed and I'm surprised you are commenting in a way that suggests you were in the right and somehow hard done by? The level of entitlement to think you have the right to force other customers out of a public space and cost a small business owner custom because it didn't suit you to have them there? If your son's allergy and fear are so severe that he can't be around dogs, it is your responsibility to check when you go somewhere if it dog friendly and to leave and find somewhere else if it doesn't suit you. Not to stop any customer with a dog from entering while you are there. And it's got nothing to do with a disabled child taking priority as his autism wasn't the issue, it was his dog allergy, something that many people have and manage themselves or on behalf of their children. You know. Like responsible parents. Those women were right. They did have every right to be there. The cafe owner was right that they had a right to be there because the cafe was dog friendly. You are not entitled to that being changed. You should have found somewhere more suitable instead. I think you really need to reflect on this and how you behaved and really think about your level of entitlement in future

if your son is distressed by dogs, don’t take them into a ‘dog friendly’ cafe. The entitlement level here is off the scale. I feel really sorry for the owner here who clearly felt he had to do what you asked because you played the disability card 🤦🏻‍♀️

@nomoredriving I've seen them outside cafes but never inside one.

Unless you have a disability I'm not sure why it's a big deal to stand on the bus. We've gotten so lazy these days

I actually have a cat allergy and have ended up in intensive care due to it, I probably would have got off bus and got on next one. She has a right to ask and u have right to not agree, but I would say as someone with an animal allergy, its between an inconvenience or hospital visit, it's about compassion, its not a choice

@Tribute219 so do you not think parents should teach their children how to behave in public or around animals? Just let them do what they want because their 'right' to disturb others trumps everyone else's right to be left alone.

Dogs are part of life. Children are part of life. Both need to be taught how to behave. It's not a difficult concept.

Allergies are different, but you can't control what other people do so the sufferer needs to take responsibility for their own well-being. You can move away from a dog and sit next someone covered in hair from a pet at home and have a reaction. Or use a car because public transport isn't sterile.

I would be incredibly distressed and experience physical symptoms from being in a space with a child screaming, but I don't call for them to be banned or left at home. I remove myself from the situation or deal with the panic attack/migraine/hives/sickness because it is my responsibility.

You were kind to move - you were doing nothing wrong. As someone with asthma triggered by cats I would move myself to a safe distance rather than bellow at someone else. My allergy, my job to manage. She just sounds rude.

If you can't be around dogs, then don't go to dog friendly cafes.

I think its fine being frustrated because it is inconvenient to stand.
Its sort of a mix really.
You're not that thoughtful because you take your dog to places where people can have allergies. Specifically environments where people with allergies can't escape so easily.

But as the bus allows dogs then your expectations of your experience was disrupted.

My personal view is that people should be put before dogs. Especially when it's a health condition rather than a person's preference. People don't choose to be allergic and the consequences of having a reaction will be physical in addition to emotional.

For a person with a dog, you're not going to get ill giving someone space. It's just inconvenient to you.

Just sounds like it was a nice experience for anyone. You were nice by moving. But lacked consideration in the beginning.
She ran the risk of bumping into someone with a dog (but maybe has no choice but to use a bus?). It's probably not easy to ask people to move when you have allergies.

Feel for both. Hopefully you managed an outcome where you both got to use the bus without anyone getting ill.

I do think you had a right to be able to sit down somewhere and she could have sat right at the back and you at the front.

If anything, I think the bus policy of allowing dogs is the issue. Because people should be able to feel safe.
You choose to get a dog. But you don't choose what you're allergic to.
Dogs don't choose to take buses or pay to take buses. People do.

Of course people should teach their children how to behave around dogs. Look how many fatal dog attacks have occurred this year alone.
However the pp stated she had "not ONCE had a peaceful time" then she should leave the dog at home. Many children are curious and interested in animals.
It is laughable to suggest that taking a dog out in society is comparable to taking a child.

As I say, yet others can't find a cafe that doesn't allow dogs.

Did they leave? Your child doesn't come first. It's a dog friendly cafe. You can ask but not expect people to leave. Go somewhere that isn't dog friendly.

You were fortunate that they did ask them to leave.
Dogs are taken into everywhere nowadays and usually get priority, especially over children.

Yeah right - dream on!

Dogs shouldn’t have priority over actual humans !!!!! That’s absolutely ridiculous. They are ANIMALS and whilst obviously are living creatures we should care about they don’t have priority over any child !!

All dogs except guide dogs should be banned from public transport

I very very very rarely see a guide dog so 'but what about guide dogs' is a really bad argument
(and all the other service dogs and emotional support dogs and whatever you want to tag them as to make your dog seem more important can do one)

Why would dogs have priority over children?

You were fortunate that they did ask them to leave.
Dogs are taken into everywhere nowadays and usually get priority, especially over children.

People talk utter drivel nowadays!

Also, where are the dogs that are allowed "everywhere nowadays"?? 😂
I must be blind.