Page 29 | For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

anywayhereswonderwall · 2023-04-24T20:41:27+00:00

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads). I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat. She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'. I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting. I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

Rosscameasdoody · 25/04/2023 10:45

PickoftheMix · 25/04/2023 08:57

The saddest part of this thread isn't the argument for/against dogs. It's the attitude and language being used towards someone with a disability (autism). Would people have this attitude towards a wheelchair user, for example? Well, their disability is their responsibility, so why should I put myself out for them?

I don't think people would have this attitude towards a disabled child if the conversation didn't involve their "rights" concerning a (non guide) dog. People would (hopefully) be more understanding.

I’m a wheelchair user and my disability absolutely is my responsibility. If I am genuinely being discriminated against or excluded, I have the protection of the law - beyond that I have no right to expect others to accommodate me if it inconveniences them. It’s my experience that people irl are very kind and accommodating but the OP seems to be raising her disabled child on the expectation that other people will always take responsibility for his disability so he has no need to. She certainly doesn’t feel the need to do something as simple as asking if a cafe is dog friendly, in the full knowledge that there will be a serious meltdown if her DC encounters a dog. Instead she expects others to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted, and leave so her son isn’t adversely affected. Massively entitled and doing her son no favours whatsoever.

Roughashouses · 25/04/2023 10:46

You think people aren't having sex all over hotel rooms?

QuintanaRoo · 25/04/2023 10:46

CheerIeader · 25/04/2023 10:43

Bed sheets get changed. Hotel room armchairs and sofas, I'd assume not.

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I was in a hotel once and the armchair obviously hadn’t been hoovered as was full of ginger pubes. Some people sit naked on the chairs 😆

Rosscameasdoody · 25/04/2023 10:54

PickoftheMix · 25/04/2023 09:07

The child was reacting in a meltdown by the sounds of it because of his disability, not because he was just a little so and so having a tantrum. In this instance, the disabled child trumped the dogs.

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No. The Equality Act is there to stop discrimination and exclusion, not to absolve disabled people of taking responsibility for their own lives. The disabled child wasn’t being excluded or discriminated against - his mother knew dogs caused him to have massive meltdowns and didn’t enquire as to whether dogs were allowed in the cafe before taking him in there. Then expected dog owners who were equally entitled to be there, to accommodate him. The reasonable adjustment would have been for her to leave and learn a valuable lesson in keeping her son safe.

ScribblingPixie · 25/04/2023 10:57

BitOutOfPractice · 25/04/2023 10:08

@ScribblingPixie it honestly never crossed my mind to check if a 5 star hotel in a large city was ‘dog friendly’. It seems utterly bizarre to me that it would be. A country inn type place, yes, a city centre hotel, not so much. It certainly didn’t mention it was on booking.com where I booked it.

But trust me, I will check in future.

Times have moved on. Businesses change to reflect customers' lifestyles. And things have changed A LOT over the last few years. It's quite a different world post-covid, I think.

ScribblingPixie · 25/04/2023 11:00

Yes, YABU. Only assistance dogs should be allowed on public transport. Get a car if you wanna travel with your dog.

Given that public policy is to discourage car ownership and encourage public transport use, that's just not going to happen - quite the opposite in fact, so everyone needs to get used to accommodating other people's lifestyles.

RampantIvy · 25/04/2023 11:01

Why are dog lovers adamant that some people are not allergic to dogs?I
Why does it offend them?
The poster with the dog allergic autistic child didn't realise that the cafe they were in was dog friendly until it was too late.

I agree that cafes, restaurants and pubs should have notices on their doors to indicate whether their establishment is dog friendly or not.

Why do dog lovers assume their right to take their dogs everywhere trumps everyone else's comfort (assistance dogs excepted of course).

All this thread is doing is giving all dog lovers a bad reputation.

"Love me love my dog, and I don't give a f**k about anyone else"

I wonder how long it will be before someone gets sued for causing a severe allergic reaction because of their dog?

BitOutOfPractice · 25/04/2023 11:03

Yes @ScribblingPixie i realise that - I don’t live under a stone! Being dog friendly seems to be the default now, rather than not. The problem is that it doesn’t reflect my lifestyle and I wish there was more balance. I personally don’t believe dogs are appropriate everywhere - including food shops and every single bloody hotel. This ‘new normal, has been imposed on everyone at all times whether we want it or not.

CwmYoy · 25/04/2023 11:06

WithyouFromDuskTilDawn · 25/04/2023 08:44

I’m afraid they do. You’re just bitter about that.

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Fortunately society as a whole knows you are wrong.

I'm not bitter. I love humans. Mutts? Not so much they shit all over the place and smell foul.

PickoftheMix · 25/04/2023 11:06

QuintanaRoo · 25/04/2023 10:36

You know there’s plenty of places that people with coeliac disease can’t eat at? I don’t stamp my feet and insist everywhere has gf food even though I could try and argue that a long term health condition is a disability.

during the pandemic when places were takeaway onLy loads of places like Wagamama and dominoes took their allergy menu’s away and said they couldn’t cater for allergies. Shit but I accepted it.

I think dominoes still won’t do gf pizzas orders over the phone, you have to be there in person. I’m not crying discrimination

Oh wow, so were they only providing food that didn't contain any of the 14 major allergens (EU)? I doubt it. What they did was illegal.

Freefall212 · 25/04/2023 11:06

I didn't realize that so many live in places with clearly marked dog free and dog frendly spaces and shops and cafes etc. I wish I had that!

Roughashouses · 25/04/2023 11:06

I think if you have an allergic, autistic child who's scared of dogs you have a certain amount of responsibility to try and minimise the chances of bumping into a dog. A simple "are you dog friendly?" before ordering would have fixed the whole situation.
I don't want anyone to love my dog, stay away from us, we don't want to interact at all. I will continue to take my dog where he's allowed, I will try and minimise people's discomfort if they're polite but, if they're like the dog haters on this thread, I'll stop being bothered about their feelings.

CwmYoy · 25/04/2023 11:07

Also taxi drivers can refuse all dogs if they have a certificate from a GP proving allergy.

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 11:08

CheerIeader · 25/04/2023 10:40

No. But humans are generally clothed. Dogs are not.

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Your first mistake is thinking that humans aren't gross in hotel rooms...on sofas, chairs, rugs...

ScribblingPixie · 25/04/2023 11:11

Yes, @BitOutOfPractice, it's definitely the default around me (London) at the moment. It surprises me too, to be honest. Brent Cross shopping centre is advertising itself as dog-friendly now. But it'll sway back if it causes problems. My local B&Q has gone back to assistance dogs only.

PickoftheMix · 25/04/2023 11:13

Rosscameasdoody · 25/04/2023 10:54

No. The Equality Act is there to stop discrimination and exclusion, not to absolve disabled people of taking responsibility for their own lives. The disabled child wasn’t being excluded or discriminated against - his mother knew dogs caused him to have massive meltdowns and didn’t enquire as to whether dogs were allowed in the cafe before taking him in there. Then expected dog owners who were equally entitled to be there, to accommodate him. The reasonable adjustment would have been for her to leave and learn a valuable lesson in keeping her son safe.

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I think this point could be argued forever tbh, but you could say well a person with allergies can also fall under the Equality Act 2010 yet they are being excluded from more and more places because to manage their allergy they can't go in. Not saying that's me, I'm just saying you could argue forever who has more right/more disability/should have this and that access. I think it should come down to everyone being kind to each other as twee as that sounds.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 25/04/2023 11:17

I have a mini poodle too @anywayhereswonderwall, they're great aren't they? <misses point of thread>

Anyway I would have moved the first time but refused the second request. If the bus passenger was that allergic she would be troubled by sitting next to other passengers who have dogs at home etc etc. so I'm inclined to think she was being a cheeky fucker. (I am extremely allergic to cats btw so have experience of this).

But it's sometimes difficult in the moment.

Re the boy with autism, I would have left that cafe as I have empathy for others.

I take my ddog to some places but not many. Not into shops generally. The odd dog friendly cafe possibly for a quick coffee. Or a pub after a long walk. But I don't take her everywhere.

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 11:17

Fourteenhouses · 24/04/2023 21:47

We recently had to ask in a cafe for someone with a dog to leave. We were there first as they opened so it was empty. DS is autistic, allergic to dogs and scared of dogs. We had just settled down with food and drinks and two women came in with dogs and ds was distressed .

I immediately spoke to the owner who said ‘well we are dog friendly!’ I said no sorry a child with disabilities comes first. One of the women started saying they had just as much right to be there it was awful.
It seems that everywhere is dog friendly now and it’s not always appropriate

I think you were right to move as requested on the bus OP , maybe she could have asked in a nicer way but was probably stressed if she has an allergy

Why did you take your son to a dog friendly cafe? How ridiculous!

Marshmallowblondie · 25/04/2023 11:18

MySugarBabyLove · 25/04/2023 09:36

Presumably by actually making some effort and cleaning her properties properly.

Refusing assistance dogs in certain parts of her establishment is clearly just a cop-out for shit standards. If the cottages were cleaned properly between guests then allergies wouldn’t be a problem.

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No, unfortunately animal dander won't be completely removed by cleaning. I really think you should do your research before coming out with statements like this. Allergies can be very serious.
If someone is renting a cottage advertised as dog-free, they have a right to expect that a German Shepard won't have been lying on the couch the week before. That simply won't work, cleaning or no cleaning.
Perhaps the pp might think about making more of her cottages dog friendly though?

Devonshiregal · 25/04/2023 11:20

Are you serious? A dog has as much right to be in a cafe as a human being? This is just such an awful, obnoxious thing to say. This poster has to navigate through the extra worries that come with having a child who has allergies and has autism and is scared of dogs (which I’m not but get is totally reasonable to be) - and you’re telling her she’s basically selfish?

When you buy a dog it’s only responsible to be aware your dog might cause distress or not be welcome certain places and you should be prepared to sacrifice a cafe trip here and there if it’s going to allow a kid with autism to enjoy their lunch.

Ffs I swear what a joke

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 11:21

RampantIvy · 25/04/2023 11:01

Why are dog lovers adamant that some people are not allergic to dogs?I
Why does it offend them?
The poster with the dog allergic autistic child didn't realise that the cafe they were in was dog friendly until it was too late.

I agree that cafes, restaurants and pubs should have notices on their doors to indicate whether their establishment is dog friendly or not.

Why do dog lovers assume their right to take their dogs everywhere trumps everyone else's comfort (assistance dogs excepted of course).

All this thread is doing is giving all dog lovers a bad reputation.

"Love me love my dog, and I don't give a f**k about anyone else"

I wonder how long it will be before someone gets sued for causing a severe allergic reaction because of their dog?

I'm sorry but if my child had an allergy..... I would check, I'm responsible like that!

I also wouldn't expect people to change their decision where to eat, because I cocked up, that's on me.

RampantIvy · 25/04/2023 11:22

BitOutOfPractice · 25/04/2023 11:03

Yes @ScribblingPixie i realise that - I don’t live under a stone! Being dog friendly seems to be the default now, rather than not. The problem is that it doesn’t reflect my lifestyle and I wish there was more balance. I personally don’t believe dogs are appropriate everywhere - including food shops and every single bloody hotel. This ‘new normal, has been imposed on everyone at all times whether we want it or not.

I agree that there needs to be a balance. I don't mind dogs BTW.

Why did you take your son to a dog friendly cafe? How ridiculous!

Because she didn't realise until it was too late @nomoredriving

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone · 25/04/2023 11:23

This thread epitomises what is wrong with modern Britain. Everyone so busy shouting about their rights they forget human decency, kindness and compromise.

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 11:31

@RampantIvy well she should've checked, she is the responsible adult here and it's just not good enough she hasn't got the wherewithal to check a cafe, it takes 6 seconds.

She then can't blame people for her slack parenting, hopefully she learnt a lesson from that but to come on moaning about someone doing no wrong is more than s not rich.

Similarly, I'm not sure why you're blaming the other person not the DM in this case. No matter what your views dogs are allowed in certain cafes and that's it,

AGovernmentOfLawsAndNotMen · 25/04/2023 11:34

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 05:52

It was the autistic meltdown triggered by the phobia (and would have worsened if allergy symptoms had set in due to sensory issues) that was the reason.

It’s not that easy to just get up and change plans with an autistic child ! That would have worsened the situation further whereas it’s very easy to turn around and walk back out with a dog …… Thank goodness the owner had some common sense !

My ds hs multiple issues /phobias - do people really expect us to avoid life in general???? We don’t go out a huge amount but when we do I just have to hope we don’t come across things that will trigger him as if we did that as suggested by some he would be stuck at home more how is that fair ?? Just so deluded people can believe their pets take priority .

But that is exactly what we did because, yes, it is up to you to keep him happy and not put him in scary situations.
We avoided places where we may come in contact with dogs. It did affect our lives.
I should say @Fourteenhouses that when my son started walking to school down a thin path he came in contact with dogs every day and became desensitised. By 14yrs he wanted a dog.