For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

If my son had severe issues being around dogs, I would probably engage brain and not take him to a dog friendly cafe.

@BSB30 what a sensible response! Showing that not everyone expects people to bow down and someone else’s need completely trumps someone else’s and it’s not ok to kick someone out just because it’s not suitable for them and they failed to check this beforehand. Agree the allergy (which the parent admitted is not severe ) and it was the dog phobia which they were more unhappy about is not a disability and this is just an entitled parent wanting to get there own way. It’s actually so entitled and insulting to people with disabilities who do require genuine accommodations to be made to try and pass this off as the same situation.

This , to right !!!

@7eleven I think she probably means she’d ask the food to be packed and taken away… instead of deciding her rights to be In the cafe came above the other patrons who have a dog , coming into a dog friendly cafe … but because she choose to take her child who is afraid of dogs … they should leave instead as their needs come above everyone else ! People need to to be able to take responsibility for their choices you take your kid who doesn’t like dogs to a place that allows dogs …. That’s on you to handle the situation not expect everyone to revolve around you !

On London buses dogs are meant to go upstairs. I always do this so don't get hassle.

Taxi?? Walk?

I was wondering this. Or an ND person who needs their dog for support - who 'trumps' who in that scenario?

I can remember dogs being allowed on buses when I was a kid in the 1970's, so it's definitely not a new thing.

I'm surprised anyone would choose to take their autistic , fearful of dogs child to a dog friendly cafe,.unless they were attempting a desensitisation. However, his appears to be a case of the current, me, me ,me (and my DC) first society we are now in.

I would have moved down the bus too if asked .

It was the autistic meltdown triggered by the phobia (and would have worsened if allergy symptoms had set in due to sensory issues) that was the reason.

It’s not that easy to just get up and change plans with an autistic child ! That would have worsened the situation further whereas it’s very easy to turn around and walk back out with a dog …… Thank goodness the owner had some common sense !

My ds hs multiple issues /phobias - do people really expect us to avoid life in general???? We don’t go out a huge amount but when we do I just have to hope we don’t come across things that will trigger him as if we did that as suggested by some he would be stuck at home more how is that fair ?? Just so deluded people can believe their pets take priority .

Absolutely this. The entitlement is astounding.

You should have ignored her. Your dog is allowed on the bus she should have moved

"I immediately spoke to the owner who said ‘well we are dog friendly!’ I said no sorry a child with disabilities comes first."

You are entitled to reasonable adjustment not your child coming first. Your child being autistic and frightened of dogs is irrelevant in this case.

But how will your child ever get used to dogs if you keep doing this. That would have been an ideal situation to expose him to the dogs without them running or jumping or being too close

The entitlement lies with those who are prepared to offer up multiple hypothetical situations to try and prove their point instead of accepting real situations where a human medical need (which is unavoidable not a choice) comes before a pet. Repeatedly saying ‘but what about guide dogs’ is pathetic as neither of these situations were about guide dogs and people are still shouting about the rights of regular dog owners 🤦‍♀️

How very entitled! Why don't you avoid cafes which allow dogs? Like an adult can avoid family friendly restaurants and hotels if noise bothers them.
Plan your day better in future so you don't disrupt others.

Exposure therapy was not recommended for ds we were told it would cause more trauma as his mind doesn’t work in a NT way so there may never be any ‘getting used to dogs’ in the same way he can’t get used to certain clothes or food and can’t tolerate certain environment

so the disabled should hide away so as not to disrupt the days of others 🤦‍♀️

And I have a severely autistic teenager who has to leave places because he isn't coping in them for whatever reason. I wouldn't accept him being told to leave somewhere and I also think it is unacceptable that someone is told to leave.

@Fourteenhouses . Did I say that? Of course not!
Anyone who has particular requirements or preferences has to plan. Dog owners have to plan ahead to find dog friendly cafes. My friend can't manage steps so we plan ahead to find cafes with flat entrances. You need to find suitable coffee shops (many don't allow dogs) for your dc.

If my autistic child isn't coping in a situation, we leave. I don't expect people to stay home or go away to accommodate us. We visit places when it's quiet, I would ask to be moved away from the dog (or whatever else).

Exactly.

"If my autistic child isn't coping in a situation, we leave. I don't expect people to stay home or go away to accommodate us."

That is what I do. No one should be telling others to leave somewhere.

@Fourteenhouses

Visiting cafes they don't allow dogs is hardly hiding away, is it?

All of you who cannot stand dogs in public spaces - never ever come to Germany! 😂We take our dogs almost everywhere. And in my many years of dog ownership I have never had anyone ask me and my dog to leave a space where dogs are allowed. I bring my dog to restaurants, cafés, shops, pharmacies, take her on public transport etc. Basically, she can enter any place that does not explicitly state that dogs aren't allowed inside (there are signs at the entrance, or, if in doubt, I ask).

My dog is a low-allergen (non-shedding, no dander) breed, so even people with most common dog allergies probably won't have a reaction. I do know this because my DH is allergic to dogs and has no reaction to ours. And I know several other people with dog alleries, who own the same breed (it's why we picked this one). If someone is allergic to dog saliva, I would recommend that they don't touch my dog, which is not a big ask, I think. My dog will not approach anyone unless they invite her to, and I let her.

Perhaps people here just have a different attitude to dogs, but it is rare to meet anyone, who is so scared of dogs that we can't peacefully coexist in the same place.

Well I know to phone ahead now - I didn’t before so when in that situation unexpectedly I knew I had to insist my sons needs as a disabled person came above those of a dog