For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

Yep. I'm autistic with an autistic child and I've been cringing at the sheer entitlement from the first 'cafe' post.

@Fourteenhouses I agree with PP’s that there’s been a cultural shift towards allowing dogs everywhere and it can be difficult to navigate.

I’ma dog owner and I don’t really like dogs in cafes, tbh, I never take mine into any. It must be v. hard for your DS. 💐

Then all the more reason to check these things before you enter premises to lessen the risk of meltdowns or have another carer with you. As hard as it all is we can only expect reasonable adjustments but you can’t take away other’s rights to be in a public place. I appreciate that makes it very tough but unfortunately life with autism is bloody tough and with all the empathy in the world the cafe was dog friendly so if I’d found myself in that situation having made a mistake as I hadn’t checked then I’d see it as my problem to fix.

@Fourteenhouses yes a sign saying dog friendly would have been better in this scenario. However surely knowing how a potential dog being allowed in a cafe (which is extremely common now) you’d have maybe checked since it would be so impactful to your child ? Do you take any responsibility for not checking this ?
I find it odd if the fear is that extreme you wouldn’t. Anyway obviously as you already had your food I guess there wasn’t an alternative, but I think your attitude towards it all , you’re more important anything/one that impacts you has to leave even though you failed to check the place was suitable. Accommodations of course need to be made for disabled people, but also you need to ensure you’re also taking appropriate steps to be in a suitable environment, rather than a place of business turning customers away because you failed to check.

The lack of understanding on this thread towards people with pet allergies is disgusting, especially the poster who would laugh at someone who requested that she move her dog away.

What is it with everyone piling up on Fourteenhouses!?!
She's already stated she rarely gets out because of her severely autistic child, she hadn't realised it was the norm for cafes to be dog friendly, they had already been served, it would have been nigh on impossible to avoid a meltdown if they'd had to leave because a dog owner came in. The cafe owner only told her it was dog friendly when she mentioned her child's allergies upon seeing the dogs brought in.
If you're going to argue with her at least read all her responses first instead of just the first one!

It’s so hard I really really struggle with him . His meltdowns are severe and so many things trigger it off. There’s not really any help I was told exposure therapy causes trauma and he has no understanding so I can’t alleviate any fears logically.

I only posted as I was happy that I’m a similar situation we were helped and understood. I’m not a liar, I don’t have an agenda . I was just saying what happened to us

@shard5

But you haven't read the response where she admits that it is a made up situation?

THERE WAS NO SIGN

It's not made up! It happened to her whilst she was out on a very rare outing to a cafe with her severely disabled son!

What ? I have not made up what happened ????

i said about everyone else making up imaginary scenarios regarding me - talking about what if it was a guide dog etc???

On Friday I had to share a lift with two stinking, wet, fresh off the beach, overexcited dogs in a 5 star hotel that is, unbeknownst to me when I booked it, dog friendly. God knows what their room smells like.

they really are unavoidable now.

Thank you for supporting me

What happened to us was real

my comment about imaginary scenarios was in relation to people saying ‘what if one of the dogs was a service dog’ or ‘what if someone with a guide dog came in ‘ etc etc

I’m a dog owner and lover. We have holiday cottages for rent. Your post and severe allergy is one of the reasons why we only have one that is dog friendly. I don’t like dogs on beds or on my sofas hence why we have one to accommodate dog owners and in my view this includes assistance dogs. I had an enquiry last year and in the notes on the booking it stated the person would be bringing an assistance dog, the dog friendly cottage was booked for the dates requested so I replied letting the person know the other cottages were not dog friendly and offered alternative dates and sent a list of dog friendly accommodation in the area to try if an alternative date wasn’t suitable. My FB page was suddenly inundated with negative reviews and I had literally 50 negative reviews on trip advisor within a week because I dared say that some of the properties that we own do not welcome dogs (even although we do welcome them in one property). My business name had been plastered all over assistance dog groups on FB I later found out.

I’ve now changed my booking system to email for availability only and if the dog friendly cottage is booked I simply say we have no availability to save the stress last year caused us.

Sometimes, business owners need to stand firm to make sure people with allergies or that don’t want to book a dog friendly cottage/hotel/restaurant have that option.

I’d have been annoyed too.. I’m allergic to pollen but it’s everywhere and that’s life. If you’d been sat next to her maybe but she sounds like a nut job and I would have sat further away and when she protested further apologise but stand my ground. Dogs are allowed on buses.. that’s that

@Fourteenhouses

Either way, in that circumstance, you were the one who made the mistake.

@Erex the scenario this poster says re multiple phobias , of course she should not avoid going places to not inconvenience people, but surely at the same time the expectation is also not everyone else has to leave because they are inconvenient to someone with phobias ? Surely people have an equal right to enjoyment.

I’m just glad the cafe owner was reasonable. We don’t go out that much and it was really kind of them to make that allowance for us I was very grateful

Yes, and if not, or at the point of discovering it was not, leave. I'm struggling to think why removing your son from this distressing situation was not an option?

Read her responses and you'll find out why!

I would get a card printed you could show to cafe owners to check if the place was suitable. Obviously if a guide dog arrived, you couldn't plan for that and would have to leave. You need to plan better in future to avoid meltdowns and make an easier day for your child. Hopefully a learning experience.

He is strong and aggressive in his meltdowns I wouldn’t have been able to move him without escalation and someone getting hurt. The better option was to remove the trigger calm him and then let him continue with his planned routine

That’s a really good idea . He has so many trigger words so that would really help. My mind just goes blank sometimes I think it’s exhaustion and something like that would be a really helpful tool in managing things in future