To think looking after yourself is hard work?

[Stoppingstorm]

I'm talking about drinking enough water, eating healthily, walking enough steps, exercising, minimising screen time, budgeting, keeping a clean space, reading, putting aside time to meditate/relax and generally being both kind and disciplined with yourself at all times.

There are very few evenings when any of these things would win over a 4 hour telly-athon, mindlessly scrolling tiktok and scoffing a family bag of maltesers. Tell me I'm not the only one. Where are my people?

Bag of Maltesers, mmm, my favourite...!

generally being both kind and disciplined with yourself at all times.

That doesn't sound like looking after yourself tbh. Nor do some other things on your list because they are person dependent. So no imho it's not that hard work. You do what suits you. Not everything

I hate 'pampering'. The slog of doing nails and buffing things. Nope.

Looking after yourself is surely different for each person.

I'd not feel like I'd looked after myself if I sat watching telly for 4 hours a night, but not do I think meditating each day is looking after myself.

Drinking enough water, eating healthy food and reading a little bit most days are habits so don't take that much work, but getting enough exercise is something I have to plan for.

If a 4 hour telly-athon, mindlessly scrolling tiktok and scoffing a family bag of maltesers makes you happy and content then you are doing just fine.

This is the way.

Sometimes self care is plenty of water, exercise and early bed. Sometimes it's just giving yourself permission to take a night off from the slog, and scroll mindlessly as you binge-watch Glow Up while disappearing half a pack of chocolate hobnobs and a gallon of tea.

I prioritise it actually. I look after everyone else so need to be healthy! I've also had cancer and have a rather weak immune system. If I don't take care of myself I get run down and ill very quickly.
I make sure I do 10,000 steps a day by walking to and from work, I drink lots of fluids, I love cooking and eating healthily, I love getting to bed early - none of these things are difficult for me!

Just wanted to add that like others have said, relaxing in front of the TV with biscuits is also self care! Rest is extremely important.

I guess I mean trying to do all of the things that are generally accepted as healthy habits. I just had one of those days yesterday where I'd done a workout, meal planned for the week, ate healthily and made a conscious effort to put my phone away for an hour. While I felt a bit smug last night as I curled up with my cup of peppermint tea, I was EXHAUSTED! I thought this might be a bit more of a light-hearted thread 😁

Fully agree @Stoppingstorm! Some habits are easier to stick to than others - I drink plenty of water (never drink juice or cola or anything like that as I don’t like it, so it’s easy for me) but I’m crap at going to bed early. I feel virtuous when I do manage it!

I know what you mean. I used to try so hard to do all of those generally accepted things but it just didn’t work for me. It didn’t feel like self care because I was forcing it and it didn’t come naturally to me. Obviously I don’t do it all the time but I just don’t force it anymore; that is self care too. All the best.

I know what you mean. The other day I was googling and MNing how to manage perimenopause symptoms. If I'd written a list it would read

Get plenty of sleep
Eat healthily
Exercise vigorously every day (but not in the evening)
Lift weights twice a week and do strength training
Early bed
No caffeine
No alcohol ever
Eat only two meals a day
Intermittent fasting

I would have to give up everything I actually like doing (I drink very rarely but had a glass of red at an event last night because it was free and I fancied it. Am predictably destroyed this morning)

It is hard work that's why most people fail at making healthy changes!
I'd suggest lower your expectations and get habits in place that aren't quite as ambitious but will help you get there.
Like, instead of 10k a day, aim for a more reasonable number to just get that walking habit. Like 650k
Or a 10 min workout. 10 mins isn't much but you'll start setting the habit.
Switch the family bag of Maltesers to a bag of treat size ones and just scoff one of those.
You get the idea.

If rigorously adhering to all these strictures isn’t working that it telling you something in itself. You need a degree of self discipline to stop you becoming unhealthy but you also need downtime and variety and happiness in your life.

Not everyone is going to be able to sustain going for a run every morning, subsisting on a totally alcohol and caffeine free diet and eating nothing but wholegrains and vegetables. There has to be fun and frivolity and something to leaven the puritanism.

People have different thresholds and weaknesses too: I personally would go nuts with boredom sitting in front of the tv for hours but I am quite capable of spending that time arguing with people on Mumsnet or talking to mates on the phone. I love running and quite happily live without alcohol most days but they would have to prize coffee and chocolate from my cold, dead fingers.

Find the stuff you actually want to do in the self care/health bracket and really double down on that but do it in manageable chunks and don’t beat yourself up if you’re not doing it every day. You are human.