How do you spend your evening with your DH.. AIBU?

[OlivesAreNice]

I wfh and my DH gets home at around 4pm most days. I usually finish at 4.30pm.

When he gets home he insists on watching videos on his laptop at full volume in the living room.

We live in an open plan house, so I normally start cooking dinner at 5pm. And all I can hear is YouTube video after YouTube video.

If I put the tv on he'll complain that he can't hear his videos from his laptop. He suggests that I go into the bedroom if I want to watch TV.

I don't want to watch tv. I just want to have it on in the background while we have a chat/ cook dinner/ have a glass of wine together in the same space.

Aibu?

The laptop is portable so he should bring it to the bedroom either that or you go and relax and watch tv and let him do dinner. I would kill him.

Well he sounds delightful!

I'm on mat leave, DP primary works from home. He comes downstairs after work about 5ish, I send him back up for a shower if he's particularly nackered or stressed out. Gives him a bit of alone time to decompress a bit. Then he comes and gets DD from me and spends an hour with her playing before he does her bath and bed routine. I tidy, do the dishwasher, put laundry away, feed the dog, do bottles, empty the bins, grab a shower then join DP and DD for storytime.

DD goes down around 7, we head to kitchen, DP cooks dinner. We eat together then watch an episode of whatever series we have on the go. In bed for 9pm, read or watch TV until 10ish then wack a true crime podcast on and fall asleep 😄

Not very rock and roll but it works for us.

Oh god.. he has the same routine as my 10 year old .. exactly the same .. I cook dinner, she watches youtube in the livingroom.

He sounds like a manchild Tv background noise is sociable, youtube videos don't sound very inclusive. What is he even watching.

Tell him to ditch youtube or get in the bin.

He can't dominate the communal space with a portable device - that's so utterly selfish. He either removes the noise for you (headphones) or he removes the device and goes somewhere more private.

It's almost like he is doing some sort of alpha dog marking his territory or something. How unsexy.

His behaviour is selfish, but having the TV on in the background without anyone actively watching it would annoy me too tbh.

That made me laugh 😃

Today I was WFH and DP in the office. I cooked dinner which we ate together, then he tidied up. Funnily enough he has been mainly watching stuff on YouTube tonight while I have been watching TV - however he’s in the spare room and has headphones on. (We go back and forth between rooms on nights like this and bring one another cups of tea.)

Does he care what you want or only what he wants?

get him swanky headphones. Salad until he wears them!

😂😂😂

He sounds fucking annoying. Tell him to go to the bedroom if he wants to watch antisocial videos - or to the garden, the car, etc.

He should also be cooking half the time.

@ladykale
He should get some that go over this eyes instead of inside...
This really made me laugh out loud, I even woke my husband up who's beside me as a loud giggle just popped out! 😅

Why are you normally the one to cook dinner when he is normally the one to finish work first?

If dh and l are together after dinner he might start watching something on utube. I immediately say one work..headphones...and he straight away pops them on. I couldn't stand that for even one minute. If dh really didn't want to wear the headphones he would go into another room.. He sounds so selfish.

You can watch YouTube on the TV. He's an idiot and I wouldn't be wasting the rest of my life with someone who doesn't care if you are bored or not because it will just get worse and worse.

Headphones or it's no deal.

https://shokz.com

We usually watch something we both like together after our kid is in bed. I hardly ever watch something alone in the bedroom, unless he’s out or chatting to friends but that’s not often.

We both like to watch gritty dramas, and discuss them…sometimes comedies but usually dark dramas.

Are there any series you both like? It does sound pretty isolating the way your evenings are separate right now. I’d be asking him to watch his YouTube videos on his commute or on the toilet. Lol. But spend the evenings together

He's unreasonable and selfish and doesn't give a fuck that he is bothering you.

Why are you with him?

Why do you say ‘…while I cook dinner’ as if that’s just your defined role in life?

Instead of the telly, maybe put something on your phone (podcast/YouTube/music etc) and listen to it closer to you while you cook? I use mine for background noise too, it'd be so boring and tedious cooking while listening to someone elses crap.
But your DH needs to stop being a selfish arse, you're the one cooking so you take priority 😉 it works for me and my DH, we just have our thing loud enough for us to hear it, not to fill the whole room. And he'd never be arsey if I asked him to turn it down, if I'm at the cooker/sink, he's free to leave so he can hear his thing better. Same vice versa.