To feel guilty for my dog

[Iseeleavesofgreen]

Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m worried about nothing here. I’m just a bit or upset and need to get this all of my chest

i can’t walk right now (10 days of no weight bearing apart from quickly going to the toilet etc) but my dog is a big active breed dog who usually spends 2 hours a day either on walks, running, going to the fields, that sort of thing. I feel terrible that I can’t walk her. I’ve had 5 family members and 3 friends try to walk her and she won’t go with them. She’s always been funny about walks anyway and won’t walk unless it’s with me (she literally sits down and refuses to move- she’s 35 kg so can’t be carried unfortunately) and I knew she wouldn’t go with them but wanted to try anyway. They tried taking her to the beach, dog field, all sorts and she just wouldn’t go with them. She’s happy, we have a good size house and garden and I’ve been sitting outside in the garden and throwing her ball and hiding treats and toys for her to sniff and find but it’s not as good as her normal walks and trips out and 10 days is a long time for her.

Like I said, she seems happy in herself and is currently snoozing in the sun. It’ll only be a few days until I can walk her again but im worried she’s miserable not going out, and that im a bad dog owner and I just feel so shit today and I’m in a lot of pain and I might just be getting a bit upset about nothing but I feel so upset and just want to take her for a walk. Does anyone have any other suggestions? My friend who has dogs came round and they all played together in the garden for a full day and she’s coming round again tomorrow. I just feel so bad for my dog and I’m a bit tired and emotional and upset about the whole situation

Ah I wouldn’t worry. You’re doing all you can. Having the dogs over to play sounds like a great idea. And dogs get tired sniffing so hiding treats in the garden and other games is a good idea.

I remember when my dog was neutered he couldn’t do any walks for a while and he coped.

It may be worth working on him getting used to a few other walkers for future though? Even if it takes a while. It’s a bit restrictive for you being the only one who can walk him I imagine. It would be tricky if you were ill for example. I don’t know how you would do this but maybe if she spends time in the garden with certain people? And you leave her with them in the garden to start with and build from there.

They adapt. I was in a similar situation although fortunately mine will go with a couple of people. But I was stuck non-weight bearing for ten weeks. Lots of mind games is the trick - they can use as much energy on a really good series of mindgames as they do on a walk. And if your garden is ok for a little running / chasing, I found some ball launchers and similar - gives some exercise plus the mind bonus of trying to catch the balls.

I'm not going to say, don't worry your dog will understand the problem, because obviously can't explain it to her! But dogs do actually sense things like when their owners are unwell, incapacitated or under the weather. They tend to accept a blip with no proper exercise. She won't remember any of this once you get going again, so don't fret.

If she was that bothered she would have gone willingly with one of the others who tried .

I think if she really wanted a walk she would have gone when she was given the chance. Keep offering it to her but otherwise don’t worry. She sounds content with what you are doing! Dogs tend to know these things!

Yeah, we’ve been working on her going with other people but she’s so, so stubborn and just completely refuses. She lies down on the ground and rolls onto her back if you try to get her to go. It’s actually really funny although a nightmare with situations like this! She’s my best friend and I bring her to work and out and about with me usually 🙂

When we all had covid I couldn't walk mine, who is a similar size to yours. He actually seemed to realise that I couldn't take him out though, and he was good as gold.
He is also a dog that would not walk away from my house with anyone if I was still inside it. He would just sit and refuse to go anywhere!
You are doing the best you can at the time. All you can do.

Don't feel guilty. Dogs can miss a daily walk if you're doing other fitness and mind games with them, which you are doing. That's perfect in this situation.

Have a look at Absolute Dogs if you want more games to play. I watched this recently which has rainy day ideas in:

Does anyone you know have a mobility scooter you could borrow so you could take her for a little trundle if you felt able?

Rather than try to walk her from the house, it might work better if they put her in a car and drive her to (the woods, beach, dog park, whatever) . So long as she agrees to get out of the car.

From experience (I walk scores of dogs) if they are nervous of new location or unwilling to come with a stranger , it's best not to offer sympathy, strokes, reassurance, and bribes/treats . That only confirms there's something scary to worry about. It's more effective to give a brisk firm instruction "Off we go, walk on" and walk forward at a brisk pace. If they don't follow, just stand still at the end of the lead, (fixed NOT and extending one), no pressure or pulling on neck, say nothing, look away, just wait. Try again , same thing, in a minute.

Worst comes to worst, find another calm dog and person to walk past you as you instruct "off we go". Many refuseniks will happily fall in behind another moving dog.

Thank you but honestly they tried all that, she just wouldn’t go! Even with her favourite beach toys and towel she wouldn’t leave the house even though she knew she was going in the car to the beach. She’s always been like this, since a little puppy. We’ve been to trainers and classes and had 121 classes and it just seems to be the way she is, she’s a stubborn princess!

Is she a poodle? My poodle bitch is stubborn and has been known to walk refuse when people have minded her for me. And she was a wee horror when she was younger. I have no advice, just lots of sympathy 😅

Ah don’t worry - you’ve done your best trying to arrange for others to walk her. It’s only for a short time so it won’t cause her any harm!

My dog hates the rain so when it’s rainy all day she won’t go for a walk, just outside quickly to go to the loo etc. We just make sure she has some playtime indoors, and especially play some games that are mentally tiring for her (like finding things, or practising a new trick) as this seems to tire her out.

But don’t beat yourself up about it! Sounds like you’re doing the best you can. Hope you recover well and are back to normal soon!

I voted YANBU but I may have skewed the results a little because I dont think you are being unreasonable by being unable to work her for a spell.
You've tried to get her to walk with others and she's made herself clear, but youre also playing ball and interacting with her which is maybe not as much as she's used to but its still stimulation, exercise, and contact which to my mind is her needs covered until you recuperate.
Honestly, she will be fine for the few days. It's not like you're giving her a lifetime of never going on a walk. Try not to beat yourself up, particularly as she seems to be content.

Without the garden, sniffs, games and ball - YABU

With all the games and garden - YANBU

hope you are feeling better soon

I think dogs do have a sixth sense about when something is wrong with their owners ( whether physically or emotionally). In addition, perhaps she feels responsible for you. With the two put together, she is determined to stay loyally by your side! It’s really rather touching. I’ve heard similar stories of other dogs like that; For instance one of a couple I know had a brain haemorrhage and, when he came out of hospital, their little terrier-cross was determined not to leave him, even with the patient’s partner.
However, as PP have said, if you’re providing some kind of exercise and mental stimulation and it’s only going to be a few more days, I’m sure your dog will survive!

It's fine. You'll get people telling you that you are the worst dog owner in the the world if your dog doesn't get 5 walks a day across rolling fields. Or if you leave your dog on it's own for longer than 5 minutes. In the real world, dogs don't get walked every day, and get left when their owners go to work.

My dogs didn't get walked for two weeks the first time I had COVID as I was seriously ill. They just got let in the garden and slept. They didn't get any entertainment either as I was so ill. They survived funnily enough.