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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Covid Dilemma - what would you do?

165 replies

Iamanon55 · 24/04/2023 12:05

Thought I had a mild cold but just tested and I’ve got bloody Covid! My DD has very important exams coming up this week and my DS has his 18th this week. These exams are very very important and my DD’s future relies on these. No-one but me knows about my positive test and I could keep quiet and no-one need ever know. I feel terrible about this because in any other situation, I would of course isolate and let people know: what would you do?

OP posts:
WestwardHo1 · 24/04/2023 12:37

GremlinBlinds · 24/04/2023 12:30

Do you know these teenagers are all healthy?

And even if they are, I'm guessing they're not taking just one exam? Maybe more than one? So even 'a mild case of covid' isn't an ideal situation to be taking exams in?

I know when I was taking exams a long time ago, the exam takers could ask the exam board to take into consideration health conditions on the day of the exam when their exam was graded.

Yes but they can get anything during the exam period. Other viruses. Stomach upsets Hayfever. Period pain.

LakieLady · 24/04/2023 12:37

WellErrr · 24/04/2023 12:22

Who on earth is still testing for covid!? Do you WANT your lives to be disrupted!?

I still test before going to see my 84YO MIL, who was very ill with pneumonia and pleurisy in December '21. I'm pretty sure the rest of the family do, too.

One of my colleagues and his family all had Covid a few weeks ago, they tested because they didn't want to infect others.

Sissynova · 24/04/2023 12:38

Iamanon55 · 24/04/2023 12:20

It's just if my DD gets it really. If your child was feeling okay, would you still let them sit the exams when they could potentially infect others?

Why would you voluntarily do this to your day and even consider her missing her exams if she felt fine?!

x2boys · 24/04/2023 12:39

SorePaw · 24/04/2023 12:30

E@WellErrr those of us who are vulnerable, & those of us who care for other vulnerable people. Covid didn't stop existing, or killing just because it's 'disrupted'.

Lots of people who.don't have cosy,work from home jobs ARE expected to.work ,otherwise they don't get paid or could potentially lose their jobs !.we are three,years into this now even the government are not telling people to.stay at home and isolate ,and before you tell me to I'm selfish etc,my 16 year old was critically ill,in February and is now insulin dependent diabetic,my DH was,added,to.the sheilding,list in January 2021so.I understand peop!e are vulnerable but unfortunately many people can't just stay home and isolate.

Frabbits · 24/04/2023 12:39

There are no restrictions in place re: isolating etc, and DD doesn't have any symptoms.

What's the dilemma then? DD sits her exams as normal,.

CornishGem1975 · 24/04/2023 12:39

WellErrr · 24/04/2023 12:22

Who on earth is still testing for covid!? Do you WANT your lives to be disrupted!?

This! I don't have any tests and I won't be paying for tests.

Topseyt123 · 24/04/2023 12:40

Iamanon55 · 24/04/2023 12:20

It's just if my DD gets it really. If your child was feeling okay, would you still let them sit the exams when they could potentially infect others?

Absolutely yes. If she's not ill she sits the exams. Even if she just has a mild cold she sits the exams and then keeps away from others as much as possible afterwards. Same for your DS's birthday party.

Nobody is testing for Covid now, surely. If you are ill then keep away from others as much as possible. If you aren't then no problem. What is your dilemma?

x2boys · 24/04/2023 12:42

VincentVaguer · 24/04/2023 12:34

I didn't even know you still had to isolate!

I have a family member who has just had a transplant and if I'm going to visit them I do test for Covid, but that's it.

You dont.

Floralnomad · 24/04/2023 12:42

I don’t get the issue , I also don’t get why you tested unless you are able to get the anti virals , you don’t have to isolate anymore . I would imagine there are lots of people in school and work today with covid .

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 24/04/2023 12:42

CornishGem1975 · 24/04/2023 12:39

This! I don't have any tests and I won't be paying for tests.

People who have terminally ill family members who were hospitalised when they had covid earlier this year. I test out of respect to them.

VincentVaguer · 24/04/2023 12:43

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 24/04/2023 12:42

People who have terminally ill family members who were hospitalised when they had covid earlier this year. I test out of respect to them.

Do you mix with many terminally ill family members?

SafferUpNorth · 24/04/2023 12:43

You're unreasonable for testing and worrying about it! Honestly, if it's just mild cold-like symptoms, treat it as you would a cold.

GremlinBlinds · 24/04/2023 12:43

WestwardHo1 · 24/04/2023 12:37

Yes but they can get anything during the exam period. Other viruses. Stomach upsets Hayfever. Period pain.

Yep. Which will be shit for them and effect their performance in their exams.

So if someone knows they have a virus it might be a good thing to at least think about if they can pass it on? And if it's okay to do that? And that's what OP is asking about.

Ellie1015 · 24/04/2023 12:44

You shouldnt have tested. Current advice is not to. As you have you should isolate and anyone in house should probably avoid seeing anyone vulnerable just in case.

LlynTegid · 24/04/2023 12:45

You isolate is the main thing.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 24/04/2023 12:47

VincentVaguer · 24/04/2023 12:43

Do you mix with many terminally ill family members?

Yes. Why?

SorePaw · 24/04/2023 12:52

x2boys · 24/04/2023 12:39

Lots of people who.don't have cosy,work from home jobs ARE expected to.work ,otherwise they don't get paid or could potentially lose their jobs !.we are three,years into this now even the government are not telling people to.stay at home and isolate ,and before you tell me to I'm selfish etc,my 16 year old was critically ill,in February and is now insulin dependent diabetic,my DH was,added,to.the sheilding,list in January 2021so.I understand peop!e are vulnerable but unfortunately many people can't just stay home and isolate.

@x2boys

well would you like to point out where I said anything about isolating??

I was responding to the poster I quoted. Who was on about testing & wanting our lives to be disrupted.

I don't want my life to be disrupted, but I'm happy to do a 2 minutes test before seeing vulnerable people. And if unwell, before going out.

that doesn't make me some kind of idiot.

Bedtimemode · 24/04/2023 13:01

Of course she can't miss her exams. Just keep as much distance as possible between you and her and hope she doesn't catch it.

I wouldn't test for a mild cold. I'd avoid people i know are vulnerable if i was ill anyway. I can't afford to lose a week's wages and would still be expected to work if I was well enough. What's the point?

MelchiorsMistress · 24/04/2023 13:02

I would pretend it never happened, and FFS whatever you do, don’t test your kids!

SpidersAreShitheads · 24/04/2023 13:05

There's something about COVID that brings out the most bizarre attitudes in people. I don't know if it's a response to the lockdowns or what we all went through, but it's just bloody strange.

COVID can be extremely mild, and for many people it is.

However, it kills some people, and in others it seems to be producing longer-term disability. There's also some evidence that it's linked to damage to other organs.

It's not "just a cold", even if that's how you experienced it.

Totally understand that people are sick of hearing about it. But it's socially responsible to try and prevent infecting other people with contagious illnesses - and if there were readily available tests for other nasty viruses, I'd happily test for those too.

We're having building work done. My DM caught COVID off one of the builders and it infected the whole family, including my two SEN DC (one of whom is profoundly disabled). It actually shocked me how literally everyone who walked through that room on the same day ended up with COVID (including two other unrelated contractors from another firm who visited later in the day). I knew it was contagious but I was in the room for just a few minutes, and not even at the same time as the infected builder! It's a very contagious virus.

DM ended up in hospital on the COVID ward, unable to breathe despite being put on oxygen. It was fucking terrifying and completely out of the blue. This was a couple of months ago and luckily she's OK now but my stepdad is suffering from an unpleasant labyrinthitis since COVID that he can't shake (and has caused him to fall).

I completely agree that the OP's DD should still do her exams - she's well with no symptoms.

But all this head-scratching about why people are being cautious around COVID - there are very good reasons. Luckily we know more about it now and it's not quite as scary as we first thought, but it's still a deeply unpleasant virus for some and can have serious consequences. Why are we pretending this isn't the case?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 24/04/2023 13:06

WellErrr · 24/04/2023 12:22

Who on earth is still testing for covid!? Do you WANT your lives to be disrupted!?

This

Verite1 · 24/04/2023 13:08

I would stay away from your DD to try and ensure she stays well. I wouldn’t tell her in case she worries. I would say that you have a bad cold and don’t want to risk passing it on to her.

19lottie82 · 24/04/2023 13:10

You don’t HAVE to isolate, but you’re advised to.

I had covid a month ago and I stayed indoors until I got a negative test, it’s the responsible thing to do. sure, to most people it’s just a bad cold but there are plenty of vulnerable people for whom it’s a lot worse.

Rubysmama77 · 24/04/2023 13:12

WellErrr · 24/04/2023 12:22

Who on earth is still testing for covid!? Do you WANT your lives to be disrupted!?

This!! You don’t need to do a ‘test’ to know if you feel ill or not! Just use your common sense just as most people were pre Covid when you had a cold, flu or a virus!

19lottie82 · 24/04/2023 13:12

Who on earth is still testing for covid!?
Me.

Do you WANT your lives to be disrupted!?

No, but I don’t want the vulnerable people I interact with to get really sick, or even die.

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